Caricature
by Katraa
Summary: After having lost a bet with Mr. Hanekoma, Joshua is forced to seek assistance from his ex-proxy. Cross-dressing was not what Neku had excepted as Joshua's punishment. Could this get any odder? .JoshuaNeku. .Multichap.
1. prologue

_.... i swear I will update By Chance sometime this month. I have the last chapter on my hard-drive, halfway done. It's a long chapter, so that's...partially why there is a delay. And it's pretty intense. And yeah. I'm trying very hard not to run off and play RE:COM right now. Well, here's the first chapter of my little baby. I have seven chapters or so posted on LJ, but figured I'd spread the love here. Joshua's slightly OOC at the beginning, but tends to fade back in and out, I suppose. _

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_**Title:** Caricature  
**Rating:** R  
**Pairings:** Josh / Neku  
**Summary:** After having lost a bet with Mr. Hanekoma, Joshua is forced to seek assistance from his ex-proxy. When Joshua informs Neku of his lost-bet, Neku hesitantly wonders what Joshua has to do. It comes as a large surprise to the ex-player that the prim and snarky Joshua has to cross-dress for an entire year at _his_ school _and_ get the student body to believe he is, in fact, a girl.

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**CARICATURE**

"Neku, be certain that you have all of your things together tonight. I don't want you running around the house tomorrow like a chicken with your head cut off, looking for your books and whatnot. Make sure your clothes are set out, too."

Neku groaned and nodded negligently to his mother's rambles. His heavy eyes lidded halfway. His left hand absentmindedly guided the spoon through his dinner, watching in amusement as it made small indents behind it. At last, he lifted his gaze when he heard a scoff from the other side of the kitchen. His mother stood in the small archway, hands on her hips with a frown. Neku gulped and set his spoon down quickly, this time giving the older woman his undivided attention.

"Your lack of manners must just be because of your age," the red-head sighed and fretfully shook her head. "I have to work until midnight, so if I see you awake when I get home, well, you don't want to know."

"I know, Mom," Neku recited listlessly and offered a weary smile.

The red-haired woman sighed a second time. "Junior year is an important time, Neku. I don't want you slacking off this year. I'm glad you've finally become more social…just try and get your grades up as well, okay? That's all I'm asking for: just a bit more effort."

Neku nodded and smiled again. "I will, Mom. Don't worry. I'm turning over a new leaf," the once-slacker chuckled and rubbed the nape of his neck.

"I've noticed…for the most part," his mother responded with a gentle smile of her own. "Well, I better get going before I'm late. If you're still hungry, you know where the food is. Have a goodnight, honey, and if I'm not awake tomorrow morning, have a good first day."

"Thanks, Mom. Have a good night at work," Neku answered and watched as his mother left the room and then moments later the house.

"Junior year, huh?" Neku grumbled to himself once alone. His hand instinctively picked his spoon back up and began running it through the rice on his plate. "Hopefully it won't be as big of a drag as sophomore year was. At least I got Shiki and Beat to hang out with—and Rhyme after school." The teen smiled at that thought.

It had been a month after his three-week fiasco in the Reapers' Game. When he first returned, at the beginning of July, he was a bit weary. What would his Mother do if he suddenly came back from the dead? To the boy's astonishment, his mother's memory of his death had not been erased— nor did she speak of his absence during those three weeks. In fact, no one remembered the horrific shooting. Neku had tried looking it up online, in newspapers, and even asked a few distant friends from school he had spoken to once or twice, but no one had a clue as to what he was rambling about. Neku decided, after those first few days, that he had _another_ thing to be grateful about. Not only did he have his three new friends and a new outlook on life, but he also had escaped the awkwardness of his revival.

Speaking of friends, the first time Shiki came over Neku's mother instantly fell in love with her. She loved the youth's simplicity—she had once said that that her brown hair and glasses made her far more attractive than the young girls who were out and about, showing off their bodies in tight clothing. Neku's mother wasn't entirely sure on her opinion on Beat, but she loved how adorably sweet Rhyme was. It was safe to say that his friends met his mother's expectations.

And then there was Joshua… Neku had yet to see the Composer after their final game—their Gentlemen's Duel. Neku had lain awake a few times in bed, wondering quietly why he hadn't shot. Deep down, he knew the answer. He knew that it was impossible for him to take anyone's life…especially someone he had connected with as much as he had with Joshua. Neku wasn't a killer…and he often speculated why Joshua had returned him, and all his friends, to the RG. It didn't make any sense, but he didn't question it.

"I'm just glad that I never have to see another Noise monster in my entire life," Neku murmured aloud as he took a bite of his dinner.

Neku had visited Mr. Hanekoma during his month back in the RG. The café owner had been astonished that the red-head would even _want_ to see him again, considering he had been an obvious part of the game. The two males remained friends and Neku found himself dying to ask if Sanae was _truly_ CAT. He figured he'd ask eventually…

"Or not. That's kind of a hard question to ask someone," the teenager pointed out as he finished his meal and brought the empty plate to the sink. He was about to set about cleaning it when there was a knock on the door. Eyebrows furrowing in confusion, Neku averted his gaze to the small clock on the kitchen wall. It read seven-thirty.

"Maybe Mom ordered something online," Neku yawned as he set the plate down and headed down the small hallway of their house towards the door. With a second yawn, the red-head pulled it open.

And within another second, he wished he hadn't.

His heart clenched and his stomach dropped. Pinpricks of illogical pain shot up in his chest, making him rather lightheaded. Struggling to remain standing, Neku gripped tightly onto the door he held open, eyes refusing to make eye-contact with the figure standing on his doorstep. He quickly bit back the urge to expel his dinner from his stomach and weakly looked upwards at last.

"What are you doing here?"

"I've left you breathless? I'm flattered," cooed the stranger who really wasn't all that much of a stranger.

"Your voice makes my head hurt," Neku ground out lamely. His free hand shot up to his forehead and rubbed at his temples, feeling the beginning of a migraine coming.

"Still the same cheery boy, I see," the silver-haired teenager remarked sarcastically.

Neku groaned audibly and stood up straight, holding the door threateningly. He abolished the childish urge to slam it shut and instead narrowed his eyes at the 'guest'. "And you're still an ass, I see."

A soft giggle was his answer.

"I wasn't aware that you could travel to the RG," Neku grumbled, refusing to make direct eye-contact with haunting hues of violet.

"Mm…I can do as I wish," the teen responded cockily, hands shoving into his black pockets. "You're forgetting how powerful I am, Neku. A small change of my frequency isn't that hard. In fact, it's quite elementary." A smirk followed.

"Right. I was really supposed to know that," Neku answered sardonically and gripped the door tighter. "What do you want, Joshua? If you want to screw up my life again, just don't. I'm happy now. So just leave, okay? Or are you planning to shoot me again?"

"Tsk tsk," Joshua chided, his refined lips curling up into another smirk. "Do you really think I'd kill you a third time, Neku?"

Neku growled noticeably at those words. "Get off my steps, Josh."

The Composer giggled and shook his head, messy silver bangs falling in his face. "Oh stop being so grumpy, honestly. I came to ask you for a favo—"

"No," Neku interjected and his glare hardened. "I don't owe you anything and I'd never do anything to help you out, you unforgivable, insufferable…"

"I assure you it has nothing to do with the Game or the UG," Joshua pointed out and offered a crafty grin. "In fact, it really has nothing to do with you. More so, me. It's a rather easy request."

"Fine, humor me then. Tell me and I'll think about it," Neku stated and licked his lips in anticipation. His stomach churned knowingly, silently preparing him for what more than likely would be yet another tragic shock.

"Let me in and I'll tell you," Joshua nearly purred, eyes serious and indifferent, as usual.

Neku sighed heavily and hesitantly opened his door fully. Wordlessly, the ex-Player slipped back into the confines of his house and up the nearby stairs, figuring that Joshua was smart enough to follow and not snoop around his house. At least, if Joshua tried to pull something, Neku knew the layout of his house better than the Composer.

Once in his bedroom, Neku turned around and watched the Composer walk in and close the door behind him. Cautious blue eyes watched Joshua, charting his every move as the pair sat down on his bed, both on one side, leaving a good two feet between their teenage bodies.

"Start talking," Neku ordered, subconsciously breathing in deeply, allowing the familiar aroma of his room to dissolve his fear.

"How impatient you are," Joshua huffed and promptly sprawled out on the bed, messy hair spreading out around his head.

"Just tell me before I decide to call the cops," Neku grumbled, arms folded to his chest.

"Mm…you are aware that Mr. Hanekoma is a large gambler, yes?" Joshua wondered as he toyed with a wavy strand of silver hair.

"Yeah…he told me and Shiki that the first time we met him. We asked him who he was and he started rambling on about his birth date and that crap. What's your point?" Neku quipped as he lay down beside the Composer, making certain to keep a foot between him and his killer.

"Well, I was regretfully on the losing end of one of his many bets," Joshua informed Neku with pursed lips.

"…Oh great. What did you guys bet over? Erasure or something?" Neku muttered sarcastically, eyes on his ceiling.

"That's none of your business," the Composer chided and softly giggled. "But let me assure you, bets with Sanae are something you want to avoid. Anywho, I lost the bet and now I have to fulfill my end."

Neku blinked. "Which _is_?..."

"Sanae has a rather…perverted and twisted streak, which is rare for … his type of person," Joshua began and coughed rather awkwardly.

"Joshua, straight answer."

"…He wants me to attend public schooling with you."

Neku burst out in laughter for a good two minutes before faltering. "That isn't that bad, Joshua. With your brains, you'll pass with flying colors. Geez, why the hell do you need me for that?"

"…He wants me to cross-dress and convince the student body for the entire year that I'm a girl."

Neku paled. "…Oh."

Joshua cleared his throat, eyes fixed on the ceiling as well. "And considering women's clothing has never appealed to me enough to wear, I'm going to need your assistance in pulling this off. If I Welch on my end of the bet, well…let's just say Shibuya won't be all that safe for long." He was being half-serious.

"You're not joking, are you?" Neku guessed, face now ghostly white.

"Neku, try and be serious for a moment," Joshua huffed, arms folding to his chest.

"Why should I help you with this? I mean, I don't owe you anything, like I said, and well…" He thought for a moment. Public-humiliation of Joshua would actually be a good way of learning to forgive him for everything he did. Watching Joshua suffer might actually make him _forgive_ the Composer. "…I'll do it. Just don't expect me to do anything out of the norm."

"Good," Joshua hummed and closed his eyes. "I'm glad you're seeing things my way, Neku"

"You are such an idiot," Neku groaned, his headache returning. "Do you even _have_ girl clothes?"

"No. I already told you I don't find women's clothing appealing. But I _can_ make some appear with my nifty powers," the silveret giggled, waving a hand absently in the stiff air.

"I doubt anyone is going to believe you're a woman, Josh. I mean, sure you've got the pale skin and skinny body, but you're a guy and uh…are flat-chested, you know?"

Joshua giggled again, hand coming down to rest over his mouth to stifle the laughter. "Some girls are just naturally that way, Neku."

Neku groaned and shook his head in dismay. "I can't believe I'm actually helping you, you creepy."

"Maybe, deep down, you just can't say goodbye to me," Joshua teased with another giggle, visibly relaxed.

Neku let his gaze wander to the Composer. He pondered for a moment. "Nope, sorry. That's not it," he decided with a soft snigger and sat back up on his bed, stretching his arms. "If you want to come by first thing tomorrow morning, do so. I dunno if my mom will be here… I'll help you do whatever it is you have to do before school starts."

"Mm…I'll just stay here for the night," Joshua concluded as he rolled on his side and pulled one of Neku's many pillows close to his chest. The skinny Composer nuzzled his face into it childishly. "Your bed is comfortable, that's a plus."

"You are…impossible," Neku growled. "And where do you expect me to sleep? There's no way that I'm sleeping on the floor while your old ass is in my bed."

Joshua pursed his lips together, eyes firmly shut against the pillow. "Sleep beside me, of course We used to do that during the Game. It'll be just like old times, Neku."

"That was _before_ I figured out you killed me…" Neku growled and shook his head, at his wits end. "I'm not sleeping with you and that's final. Sorry if I disappointed you."

"Fine then, be stubborn," Joshua yawned, honestly not that bothered. "I'll sleep here and you can sleep in your closet. Night, Neku."

"My _closet_? No, no, no, you're getting off my bed _now_," the red-head ordered as he stood up, ready to push the Composer over the edge.

When Neku received no answer, he stared skeptically at the unmoving silver-haired male. The boy's chest rose and fell slowly. The part of Joshua's face that Neku could currently see appeared to be at ease and calm, something Neku wasn't accustomed to. He was used to smirks and sniggers and fake pouts that looked ridiculous. It didn't take long for Neku to realize that Joshua had already passed out…on his bed.

"Stubborn asshole," Neku groaned and wandered over to his gaming chair, sitting down in it. "If I'm stiff tomorrow, I'm blaming you," he added on.

With a yawn, the ex-proxy attempted to get comfortable in the plush chair, finding doing such was quite impossible. After a few moments of squirming, Neku gave up and let sleep overtake him.

**--**

_I can't believe I'm actually doing this. I can't believe I let him sleep on my damn bed. I can't believe that he, of all people, would lose a bet. And…I can't believe that Mr. H would make him do _that_. Then again, the creep deserves it. I won't deny that it's going to be hilarious…_

Neku pulled a black shirt quickly over his chest as he wandered out of his bathroom and back towards his bedroom. He had a good hour before he had to head off for school. His mother was passed out in her room, seemingly in a deep slumber, which was really a good thing considering he wouldn't have to answer awkward questions regarding the silveret.

When Neku returned to his bedroom, his gaze hardened. Joshua was up and staring blankly into space, looking as if he had just been ravished.

"You look horrible," Neku decided as he closed the door behind him. "You sure you're up for this?"

"Of course, Sunshine," Joshua responded with a yawn as his violet gaze drifted to Neku. "You already showered?"

"Gee, thanks for noticing," Neku sighed miserably and rubbed his arm. "But yeah. You were asleep so I figured I'd just get ready. You can shower…if you want, I guess. It's down the hall."

"No need to, I did last night before I arrived here," the Composer yawned and stretched his gangly limbs as he slipped off the bed.

"Okay, whatever," Neku grumbled and walked over to his closet, promptly leaning against it.

"Although I don't have to shower, we're going to need your bathroom," Joshua decided as he rubbed at his eyes.

"…For what?" Neku cocked his head.

"…are you that dense, Neku?" Joshua giggled drowsily and headed towards the door, glancing over his shoulder with a smirk. "I have to look presentable as a girl, don't I?"

"You're…not going to get yourself to look like a girl, Josh. Just give up now," Neku complained and fidgeted, attempting to get his clock to jump ahead an hour so that he could get to school already and see Beat and Shiki.

"I might not, but you will," Joshua purred and opened the door, nudging his head in his general direction. "Come now, Sunshine."

"…Gah," Neku groaned and followed Joshua out of his bedroom and down the hall to his small bathroom. Once there, he closed the door behind him and Joshua and gave the Composer a rather frustrated look. "You're not making my first day of school fun at all, Joshua."

"I know," the Composer lilted. "But you really don't have a choice, now do you?"

"I figured as much," Neku reasoned and leaned against the wall, arms folded to his chest. "Now, what are you going to wear? I guess a sweater and pants would create the best illusion and—"

Neku was cut short when Joshua's form glowed brightly for a moment. Within seconds, the Composer was dressed in a dark miniskirt with a frilly pink tank top. Ruffles adorned the top of it, giving the illusion that he was, in fact, a girl. Upon his feet were hot pink flip-flops and around his right wrist was a small bangle. Neku visibly tensed at the sight.

"Like it, Neku?" Joshua hummed, spinning around with a snicker. "I even went about shaving my legs before I came. Don't I look good?"

"You're…too into this," Neku murmured, hiding his face behind his hand. "This is so wrong, Josh. A _skirt_? Do you have any honor as a man?"

"Hm…I do," Joshua reasoned, plucking a strand of his silver hair. "I just don't like to Welch on my bets, that's all."

"You're so weird," Neku sighed and continued surveying Joshua, noting mentally how well he played the role of a girl—a pretty girl at that…

"Now, here's the part I need you for," Joshua stated as he waved his right hand, watching in amusement as a bag appeared on the counter. Neku eyed it and then the Composer, licking his lips nervously.

"What's in there? A bomb?" Neku guessed lamely, shifting his weight from one foot to another.

"No silly, makeup," Joshua informed Neku with a smirk as he unzipped the small bag. Inside was a girl's necessities—mascara, eyeliner, blush, foundation, eye shadow, and of course, lip-gloss. Neku blanched and moved back against the white wall of his bathroom, visibly tenser than before.

"You seriously are going all out, aren't you?" the red-head gulped uneasily. "If you know so much about what to do, _why_ are you even asking me to help you? I obviously don't want to help so why?..."

"I need you to help me put the makeup on, Sunshine," Joshua explained and took a careful seat on the counter, legs dangling over it, his skirt making Neku even more uncomfortable. "Well, grab something and help. I'm sure you've stared at enough girls in your lifetime to know what goes where," he giggled.

"Bastard," Neku seethed and walked across the bathroom to grab a random piece of makeup. He eyed it, recognizing it as the same brand Shiki used. "Just...don't freak out, okay?"

Cautiously, Neku stood in front of Joshua, concentrating on his face. His stomach churned and his insides knotted, eying the Composer with a look of determination and disgust. Neku quickly bit back the urge to throw the bag at the door and demand Joshua to leave his life entirely, but thought better of it. He _was_ the all-power Composer, after all…

"Neku, you're putting makeup on me, not performing surgery," Joshua deadpanned as he licked his lips.

Neku growled again. "If you weren't so damn powerful, I'd kick you out right now," he murmured and leaned forward, uncapping the mascara. Wordlessly, he brought the stick towards Joshua's eyes, mentally marveling at how long and pale his eyelashes truly were. Carefully, he combed the black-inked brush over the eyelashes, mentally patting himself on the back for accomplishing such.

When the mascara was applied, Neku went about adding a small amount of gold eye shadow over the Composer's eyes, followed by pink lip gloss to his lips, and a bit of blush. He figured that Joshua didn't need any eye-liner…and he doubted he had the ability to apply such without making him look like a cross-dressing raccoon.

"Done!" Neku stated quickly as he stepped back, suddenly glad to have his personal space back.

Joshua nodded and glanced over his shoulder in the mirror. He giggled fondly to himself and then looked back to Neku. "Thank you, Neku"

"Y-you're welcome," the red-head grumbled and turned his back, opening the bathroom door. "I'll…see you at school, I guess."

Joshua ignored the second statement. "Do I make a pretty girl?"

"…Was that a serious question?" Neku complained, lingering in the threshold.

"Hm…I'll just ask a few boys at school, then," the silveret laughed and hopped off the counter. Truth be told, he did pull off the role of a girl quite well. His face was slim enough and the ruffle tanktop did a marvelous job at hiding the fact he was, indeed, a male.

"Goodbye, Joshua," Neku stated and left the bathroom quickly, headed downstairs to get his things and hurry to school, his frustrations having completely gone over the edge.

"Hm…" Joshua tapped his sandal aimlessly against the tiled-floor, peering at himself in the mirror. His violet eyes appeared distant for a moment before he reached out and touched the mirror, almost not recognizing the reflection. His lips fell into a rare frown as he stood there, the skirt feeling far more uncomfortable than he had originally let on.

"Sanae…what have you got me into?"


	2. chapter one

i have around eight chapters of this story done so far..so that is why there are quick updates, haha (:

Caricature

"So, how long is the walk to your school from here?"

"A good ten minutes," Neku answered as he held his notebooks close to his chest. He had swiped his headphones from his dresser earlier and slung them around his neck, knowing full well that he may just need them in the future if Joshua was going to be around. As the red-head walked, he kept his gaze glued to the streets ahead, refusing to look over at his companion cross-dressing. There was just no possible way that he could survive this horror.

"Ten minutes? Oh well, at least it's not too far," the Composer sighed and began fiddling with his tank top, amused at the ruffles. "Are you going to introduce me to your friends, Neku?"

Neku winced at the mere thought and hurried his pace, refusing to make eye-contact. "Introduce you? As what? 'Hi guys, this is my cross-dressing friend, Joshua. Pretend he's a girl so he can fulfill his end of a bargain, okay? Ignore the fact that he's a guy.' "

Joshua giggled at that and pushed his messy bangs behind his ear, the mascara already beginning to annoy him. "First off, calling me by the name Joshua won't accomplish anything," he cooed knowingly in a smug tone. "Refer to me as Josephina." He watched in amusement as Neku cringed. "And secondly, having your friends know I'm a guy completely destroys my goal."

"No one is going to fall for this, Josephina," Neku deadpanned and reached up with his free hand to rub his temples. "I can't believe Mr. H is making you do this. I'm torn between giving him a high-five or a punch to the face…"

"You're not captivated by my body, Neku?" Joshua wondered, hand coming to rest on his hip as he purposely did a hair flip.

"No, I'm not," Neku drawled and shook his head. "A guy wearing a skirt and makeup is just wrong."

Joshua giggled and smiled knowingly at his red-haired 'friend'. "We'll see how many people 'fall' for it."

"Yes, we'll see," Neku agreed and sighed loudly, hurrying his pace once more, hoping in the back of his mind that Joshua would fall behind due to his flip-flops. His prayers were left unanswered as Joshua strode up beside him once more in his giggling glory.

"At least you have the feminine giggle down pat," Neku grumbled as he looked down at the sidewalk. "Are you ever going to tell me what you guys bet on? Or are you going to leave me in the dark, are you usually do when it comes to anything important."

Joshua sighed dramatically and shrugged. "The bet doesn't matter. And I haven't left you in the dark, Neku. I told you I was the Composer."

"I thought you were joking," Neku growled and shook his head. "That doesn't count as a confession. And then you told me, being serious, before you shot me. I don't even know why I didn't slam the door in your face and kick you out of my house. I think you're imprinting me."

"Oh no, Neku. You'd feel it. You're such a bright Soul, you'd know if I was doing that," Joshua informed him with a soft smirk before folding his arms over his chest.

"You're so impossible," Neku sighed and lowered his gaze further. "Just stay away from me at school, okay? I haven't forgiven you and I just really want to live my own life."

"But Neku, I thought you were going to be my lovely guide," Joshua pouted and licked his lip-glossed lips. "Fine, I'll avoid you unless the situation calls for our interaction."

"Thank you," Neku breathed in relief, hands flexing around his notebooks. "That goes for my friends as well. I don't know what you did to them, but they don't remember the last day and I'd like to keep it that way."

"How would they figure it out if they think I'm a girl, Neku?" Joshua lilted and tilted his head to the side playfully.

"…Stop doing that, you're creeping me out," Neku complained and quickly averted his gaze again. "Sometimes I wonder if you're lying and you dress up as a girl all the time. You really seem like the type, Josh."

"How rude," Joshua huffed dramatically and shook his head, messy hair landing on his back.

"But oh-so true," Neku pointed out with a rolling of his eyes. He paused at the corner of the street and looked to Joshua disdainfully. "See that building on the right? The big grey one nestled between the parking lot and grassy lot?" Joshua nodded as Neku pointed. "That's the school. I'm going on ahead. You go find your locker and classes and whatnot. I have to catch up with Shiki and Beat—I haven't seen them for a week so I have a lot to tell them."

"Sure thing, Neku," Joshua hummed and gave a playful salute.

"…Goodbye, Joshua," Neku groaned and trotted across the street to his school, glad to be without the Composer by his side. Now he was free to kick and kill things. Stupid Joshua. Stupid Composer. Stupid bets. Stupid, stupid irony.

--

"We have first block together, Neku!"

Shiki quickly glanced over Neku's schedule a few times more as said teenager sorted his belongings in his locker. The teenage girl tilted her glasses off the bridge of her nose to skim over the fine print before presenting her best friend with the schedule once again. "We also have lunch, but that's it. At least we have that together."

"I know, thank god. I was dreading sociology. And I think Beat has lunch with us too, not sure. Does Eri?" Neku glanced up from his locker to look over at the cheerful brunet who was absently fiddling with her messenger bag and blouse.

"Eri has lunch with her other friends," Shiki explained nonchalantly and offered a soft smile at Neku. "You know where sociology is, right? If not, I can show you. I was just there a minute ago talking to the professor."

"Sure. I've never been down that part of the school before so why not," Neku chuckled and closed his locker, holding his notebook and pen possessively. His gaze skimmed down the hallway, glad to not see his cross-dressing ex-partner meandering about. The last thing he needed was to start school off with something stupid like Joshua in a skirt harassing him.

"You okay, Neku? You kinda look pale," Shiki noted, tilting her head. Her brown bangs fell in her eyes as she eyed her friend, lips nervously pursed.

"Huh?" Neku looked to her and blinked. "Oh, I'm fine. Just trying to figure out stuff."

"Oh okay," Shiki answered sheepishly and tucked her bangs behind her ear before pointing in the opposite direction. "Well, shall we head off?"

"Sure. Maybe we'll run into Beat again," Neku stated as the pair began their quiet walk through the bustling halls of the school. As they walked, they watched in amusement as freshmen fumbled about, eyes glued to their schedules, confused as hell. It was almost sad, in a way, to see them so confused and lost.

"You sure you're okay, Neku? You seem a bit…edgy, or jumpy," Shiki stated quietly as they turned a corner, headed towards sociology.

Neku shrugged. "Eh, just not used to being back in school, I guess."

"Ah…" Shiki stated and nodding with understanding. "I suppose it is a big change. I never really minded it much."

"This is my first year with actual friends," Neku pointed out. "Last year I just got through the school-year with casual acquaintances. This year I have Beat, you, and Eri. It's really different for me. I'm not amused to actually enjoying this place," he chuckled and shook his head in amusement.

"Hm…maybe you'll get a girlfriend this year too," Shiki teased, her lips tweaking up into a grin. "First friends and then significant others."

"…I highly doubt that," Neku laughed and felt a soft blush appear on his face. "I'm not that good with commitment and that stuff. You know how distant I can be, Shiki."

"Yep," Shiki agreed and rubbed the back of her neck with her free hand. "But maybe a few casual dates would do you good. You are a guy and guys do have hormones," she hummed, eyes glimmering playfully behind her glasses.

"So do girls," Neku responded with a shrug, trying not to laugh.

Shiki was about to respond with her own witty retort when a girl came up to the pair, seemingly about to talk to Neku. The brunette tilted her head curiously as the girl approached them nonchalantly, face indifferent as she neared them.

"Friend of yours, Neku?" Shiki asked under her breath with an arched brow.

"Oh god, let's take another way to cl—" Neku began, grabbing Shiki's arm. He was about to steer them back around the corner but before he could do such, his own arm was successfully seized. Neku gulped and shifted his gaze from his best friend to violet hues, meeting them with distaste and disdain.

"I've been looking everywhere for you, silly"

Neku's head throbbed in agony. "Hi Jos—"

Before Neku could finish, Joshua had turned to look at the befuddled Shiki. "Hi, I'm Neku's friend, Josephina."

Neku cringed at the name and at the fact that Joshua was still wearing makeup and that damn skirt. The red-head shifted uncomfortably, having dropped Shiki's arm seconds earlier. He leaned back against the school wall instead, trying his best to keep his gaze off Joshua. The last thing he needed to do at this moment was blow up at his ex-partner. Or blow his cover. Then again, the prospect sounded inviting.

"Oh, hi!" Shiki stated and blushed darkly. "My name's Shiki. I don't think we've met before."

"I don't think so either, but it's a pleasure to meet you," Joshua stated politely and allowed his gaze to wander to the visibly uncomfortable Neku. He giggled quietly under his breath and took a step closer to the tense teen, letting his hand drift precariously close to Neku's. He watched in utter amusement as Neku pulled his hand out of Joshua's reach with a glower.

"What's your schedule?" Shiki questioned curiously, her free hand coming to rest on her hip.

Joshua paused and pulled out a schedule, handing it to the brunette with a slight shimmer of mischief in his eyes. Neku caught this and coughed under his breath, allowing his gaze to return to the ceiling. Why couldn't the damn warning bell go off already? He wanted to get away from Joshua before he punched the boy's lights out.

"Neku, she has all the same classes as you," Shiki declared and looked to her friend with a smile. "You won't' be lonely in your classes after all!"

Neku twitched. "…All the same classes?"

Joshua shot him a smug look that screamed 'Im the Composer, why didn't you expect me to be in all your classes, hm?' "We do? That's great, then," he hummed.

"Shiki, we should really be heading off to sociology. I don't want to be late the first day," the teen grumbled as he held his books closer to his chest.

"We can all go together," Shiki decided and smiled warmly at Joshua. "You don't mind, do you?"

"Of course not," Joshua cooed and tossed a mischievous look at his partner before beginning to walk with Shiki a few feet in front of the rather disgruntled Neku.

"…Asshole," Neku muttered to himself and followed the two disdainfully, cursing the heavens and the UG for this unfortunate and horrible mess than had fallen before him. Stupid Joshua and his stupid quirks and skirt messing up his perfectly good day. He needed to get revenge, but he doubted that was possible. Oh what a mess.

--

To think I almost forgave that jerk. He's a complete asshole...why did I even bother helping him?

Neku groaned to himself as he watched Shiki and Joshua in the lunch-line from across the room, chattering eagerly about something he couldn't quite hear. The conversation was probably regarding clothing and whatnot. Joshua had always been the type to overstress on clothes, as demonstrated during Neku's second week. The damn kid refused to walk by any clothes store without stopping in to take a gander about, which usually ended up in Joshua goading Neku into buying something for him, or a shopkeeper making odd moves on Neku that the red-head didn't quite catch. All in all, clothes shopping with Joshua had always been the painful experience, and he was semi-glad that the boy now had someone actually interested in trends to talk to.

But…why didn't Shiki remember Joshua, though? Hadn't she seen him on their last day? The red-head shook his head, rubbing his temples. He remembered that every time he brought up 'wanting to wait for a friend at Hachiko', his friends would give him a blank stare and then proceed to smile and nod. Maybe they actually didn't remember.

"Yo Phones, what's shakin'?"

Neku lifted his gaze from his neglected sandwich up to the skater across the table. When had Beat arrived? "Hey Beat," he stated and straightened up in his seat.

"Yous okay, man? You look wiped," the blonde skater stated as he sat down and promptly lifted his feet onto his side of the table, reclining in his chair.

Instead of reprimanding the teen, Neku merely looked back across the expansive, crowded room to Shiki and Joshua. "I'm fine," he murmured, hand coming to rest under his chin. "Just not used to school yet, that's all."

"Who is?" Beat chuckled loudly and folded his arms to his chest, rather comfortable. He paused, glancing over his shoulder to where Neku was so intently staring. A blonde eyebrow arched. "Yo, whuzzat with Shiki?"

"Oh…that's Josh," Neku mumbled distantly.

"…Josh?" Beat repeated, looking back to the red-haired teen. "Girl got a guy name?"

Neku blinked and then felt heat rise to his cheeks due to embarrassment. "Ah…her name is Josephina. She…likes to be called Josh?..."

"Oh, that's cool man. Very tight," Beat stated, his gaze returning to over his shoulder. A goofy grin remained plastered across his face all the while.

Neku groaned and hid his face in his hands as Shiki and Joshua approached them with trays of food. The reddish brunet kept his face hidden as he heard chairs move against the tile-floor, followed by Shiki's purse hitting the ground, producing a 'clink', and finally proceeded by a warm welcome from both 'girls'.

"Yo, nice to meetcha' Josh!" Beat greeted as he extended his large hand across the table to the silver-haired teen who was sitting beside Neku.

Joshua blinked, arched a brow, and looked accusingly to his ex-partner. Neku stole a glance from behind his hand at Joshua, pathetically staring, before returning to hiding ignorantly. Joshua sighed and looked to Beat, forcing a fetching smile to form on his lips. "Heehee…you must be mistaken, my name is Josephina…"

"But Phones said that ya like to be called Josh," Beat stated and rubbed the back of his head, eying the ceiling as Shiki pushed his feet off the table, scowling somewhat.

"…He did? Neku, are you spreading your pet-names for me to your friends?" the Composer giggled, rather affectionately playing with a lock of Neku's hair.

Neku tensed and without delay batted away Joshua's hand. "You told me to call you Josh."

"Perhaps I just wanted you to call me it," Joshua purred and teasingly winked at the boy next to him before letting his gaze wander back to Beat. "If you wish to call me that, go right ahead. It may sound…boyish, but I assure you I'm used to the nickname."

"Cool wit' me!" Beat declared and offered a bold smile across the table at Joshua.

"Beat, how many times do I have to tell you to keep your feet off the table?...People eat there, you know," Shiki lectured, frowning a bit.

"Ya already shoved my feet off, Shiki," Beat pointed out and looked to Joshua once more. "She always like this. Being the mother to all us."

Joshua smiled back, though Neku could tell it was fake, even from his hiding place. "Your friends are so nice, Neku. Thank you for allowing me to meet them."

"We're glad to have a new addition to our group," Shiki stated punctually and grinned boldly at Joshua.

Neku's toes curled in his shoes, resisting the urge to punch the Composer straight across the face. Why was it that he was the only one that could detect the condescending tone in the smug bastard's voice? Why did they think he was being sincere?!

"Oh! Josh, you don't mind me calling you that, right? I have to get used to it myself, but…" Shiki trailed off and tucked her hair behind her ear before turning to look at the Composer once again. "Where did you get that skirt? I've never seen one like that before…it's amazing…something Eri and I would totally want to make."

Joshua blinked a few times, fingers holding a slice of pizza. "Neku gave it to me."

"…He did? Neku, you went shopping for someone other than yourself?! …Excuse me for a moment, I need to take a few breaths so I don't die of shock," Shiki teased and then smirked. "So you'll buy clothes for her but not me, hmm? I can't even get you to go shopping with me." She giggled afterwards.

"…I killed her cat, I felt bad," Neku stated gruffly, lowering his hands in frustration.

"You…killed her cat?" Shiki and Beat echoed, blinking in confusion.

Neku winced. "Uh…well not exactly killed it but…I found it dead?...in the bathtub?..."

Joshua stared blankly at Neku before clearing his throat. "Mittens was old, Neku. I told you it wasn't your fault. I know she didn't like you, and the very sight of your spiky hair scared her old heart, but you didn't kill her. She was bound to die shortly, anyhow."

"…Wow," was all Beat could utter as he scratched his neck. "Yah, Phones…don't blame yourself. You had me and Shiki thinkin' you were some sorta animal killer, hah…"

Neku groaned. Why do I have to have the stupidest lies?... "Well, I felt bad, okay? I blame myself a lot for things, I'm trying to get over that. And besides, the skirt was only five-hundred yen."

Joshua rolled his eyes. "He enjoys clearance items. He's a cheapstake."

"Be glad I got you something," Neku seethed, ignoring the strange looks his friends shot him.

"…Uh Phones…. Are you and Josh datin'?"

Neku paled and then scorched a hot red. "What?!" he sputtered, alarm filling him as Joshua's giggle filled his senses. "Of course not! She's…she's not my type! And we don't know each other that well and…and a whole bunch of stuff!"

"He's in denial that he likes me," Joshua explained, smiling knowingly at the other. "Oh, cheer up, grumpy-face," he cooed, earning a laugh from Shiki. "If you keep frowning like that, your face is going to stay that way, and that's not attractive at all."

"Right…" Shiki trailed off, smiling intentionally to herself before looking to her red-faced friend. "Neku, are we still all meeting at Hachiko after class today? I haven't seen Rhyme in weeks…and I don't get to see Eri much during school."

"Of course," Neku stated, the first real smile during that lunch appearing on his face.

"Rhyme's real excited," Beat explained between mouthfuls of his curry that he had finally decided to start eating somewhere during Neku's outburst. "She said she loved 'dat dress you made her, Shiki."

Shiki giggled quietly. "Eri was the one that designed it, I just sewed it," she pointed out.

"Yah, but she could tell you had a hand in the design," Beat retorted and resumed chowing down, his gaze dancing between his lunch and Joshua a few times, to which Neku noticed.

"I miss Rhyme," Shiki sighed and proceeded to glance over at Neku and Joshua, noticing how close they were sitting for the first time. "Hey Neku, aren't you going to invite Josh to our little get-together after school today?"

Neku bit his bottom lip and shrugged, gingerly poking at his meal. "Uh, I guess you can come if you're bored?"

"Thank you, Neku," Joshua hummed, the sarcasm dripping from his voice intolerable.

"…Whatever," Neku murmured and proceeded to space out, his first day already appearing dreary and gloomy, and he barely had gone through half his classes. Stupid Joshua.

--

"So, are we just walking from the school to Hachiko, Neku?"

Neku tugged his headphones eagerly onto his ears, attempting to drown out the silver-haired nuisance who had been by his side all day. Thankfully, a few of his teachers had assigned seating, which got Neku away from Joshua for a few hours. But now the school-day was officially ending, chiming with a bell, and Neku wanted nothing more than to hang out with his friends peacefully, thus meaning without Joshua.

"I am, you're not," Neku stated sternly as he headed out of the building, followed by an impatient Joshua.

"But Neku, they seemed like they wanted me to go too," Joshua cooed, dramatically placing a hand over his heart. "And besides, I have nothing else better to do."

"…You run an entire city and you're saying you have nothing to do? No wonder Shibuya is such a mess. You're a horrible Composer," Neku drawled and subconsciously rubbed his headphone, cursing the heavens above for having told Joshua his address during the game. To think he had wanted to get to know the boy once the game was over…bah.

"Oh Neku, so naïve," Joshua giggled and continued walking alongside the other teen.

"You are annoying," Neku ground out, holding his Physics book close to his chest. "You know what? After 'we' hang out with imy/i friends, you and I are going to Wildkat to sort out this mess. I'm going to get Mr. H to revoke your little bet because frankly, I can't stand this, Josh."

"Can't stand seeing my attractive self in a skirt?" Joshua teased, twirling a strand of hair around on his finger.

"No, I just can't stand you being an asshole, like you constantly are," Neku complained and shook his head.

"Such harsh words," Joshua sighed and placed a hand on his hip. "I thought we were friends, Neku."

"We were, until you decided to shoot me," Neku muttered and continued walking. "But seriously, why the hell would you want to be friends with me? You're the Composer of Shibuya," he grumbled under his breath, averting his gaze somewhat as they left school grounds and began their walk to Hachiko.

Joshua fell silent for a moment. "Why indeed."

Neku arched a brow and stared at the Composer for a moment. "…Is this something new? Now that you're a girl you're going to have mood-swings?" he joked uneasily, uncomfortable due to the serious look Joshua was radiating.

Joshua shrugged absently and continued on, a few steps ahead of Neku this time. He said nothing more as he walked. Neku, though, couldn't help but stare at his ex-partner in confusion and subtle interest. How Joshua managed to be skinnier than him was a mystery…and yet have such feminine hips. If he hadn't met the teen prior, he would have concluded that the person in front of him was a very attractive and flirtatious girl who seemed to have taken a liking for him. Neku sighed and followed faithfully after Joshua, promising that he'd resist blowing up in past-anger at Joshua, just for the time-being, only because the look Joshua had given him moments before had not only startled him, but oddly scared him…

--

"Rhyme!"

Shiki squealed loudly and nearly trampled a few pedestrians as she bounded giddily up to the forming group. The brunette dropped her bag by her feet and tackled the young blonde with a hug. The girl's glasses threatened to fall off her slim face as she smothered the younger in hugs and small squeals of happiness. Beat and Eri, who were casually leaning against the statue, watching in amusement, exchanged a few words as Joshua and Neku lingered a few feet behind Rhyme and Shiki.

"Yo Rhyme," Beat stated once Shiki had relinquished her hold on Rhyme and returned to standing faithfully by Eri's side, "I want ya to meet our new friend."

"New friend?" Rhyme tilted her head innocently and turned around to smile warmly at Neku who gave her a gentle wave. Her gaze settled upon Joshua and she giggled. "Nice to meet you!"

"Nice to meet you too," Joshua hummed, staying close to Neku.

"That's Josephina," Beat hummed as he pumped his chest, rather proud that he remembered the 'girl's' name. "She's a friend of Phones, so a friend of ours," the skater stated with a grin, tossing Joshua a wide smirk.

Rhyme blinked a few times but said nothing and only smiled.

"Eri, did you meet Josh yet?" Neku asked as the red-haired teen flipped through her phone, obviously showing her partner something. The girl's gaze lifted once Neku spoke.

"Hm?" she hummed and flipped it close. "Yeah. I met her in passing earlier today. I asked her where you were, after Shiki introduced us, and she said that you had stormed off." The red-head giggled behind her hand, looking to Shiki with a laugh as well.

Neku groaned and looked away. "Yeah…"

Joshua wandered away from Neku for a moment, engaging in conversation with Beat, Shiki, and Eri. Rhyme, however, had wandered over to the headphone wearing teen, lightly tugging on his sleeve. Neku glanced down and arched a brow. "Hm?"

"Neku…why is that boy wearing a skirt?" she whispered up into his ear, her youthful voice fluttering into his ear.

Neku paled, cold sweat forming on the nape of his neck. "W-what?"

"Why does everyone think he's a girl?" Rhyme questioned, her small fingers curling around Neku's sleeve.

"Ah…uh…well, you see…" There was no point in lying to his friend. "How did you know?" he murmured under his breath at last, frowning deeply.

"The way he walked," Rhyme explained and giggled somewhat. "It's obvious that he's a boy. He…plays the part of a girl well, though. But I could tell." She let go of Neku's sleeve and smiled up at the other. "So, why?"

"Lost a bet," Neku muttered and shrugged. "Somehow I got tangled up into helping him."

"Oh," Rhyme responded and looked to the four with a soft look. "He seems to fit in…have you known him long?"

"…Too long," Neku sighed. "I'm surprised he's being so polite to everyone. He's never polite to me."

"Maybe you just don't notice it?" Rhyme suggested, her hands lacing in front of her.

Neku pursed his lips. "No Rhyme, I just don't think he has the ability to be nice to me. He enjoys making a fool out of me, that's his goal in life."

Rhyme eyed Neku for a moment before looking back to Joshua, her small bangs falling in her face. "Maybe you're just looking at things right side up…"

"Huh?" Neku questioned and looked to Rhyme skeptically.

"Sometimes you need to turn things upside down to truly see what's there," she explained and smiled helpfully up at Neku. "Like the missions…you have to look beyond the words to find their deeper meaning. Maybe you need to look at how he acts in a different way."

Neku sighed. "I guess…"

Rhyme giggled and said nothing more before dragging Neku over to the group conversation, her blue eyes sparkling with youthful determination.


	3. chapter two

yeah. i basically have nine chapters done so :D speedy updates haha.

**Caricature**

"Did we _have_ to stop and get ice-cream? I didn't even know you liked that sort of stuff. Aren't Composers not supposed to get hungry or something?"

Joshua sighed fretfully as he allowed Neku's perfunctory rant to flutter in one ear and out the other. The silveret kept his fingers tightly curled around the waffle cone as the two teenagers continued their voyage across Shibuya. Joshua followed faithfully behind the red-haired boy in front of him, trusting him to know the way from Hachiko to Wildkat—he had raced through the streets enough during the Game to know every single inch of Shibuya by now, it seemed.

"Josh, are you even listening to me?"

Joshua shrugged and gave a deft lick to the dripping ice-cream before smirking ahead at Neku who was staring back at him. "You seem to be doing a lot of staring ever since I've put this skirt on," the silveret teased before dragging his tongue along the curve of the frozen treat.

Neku rolled his eyes and shoved his hands uncomfortably in his pockets, forcing his gaze ahead of him. "Because you're creepier than usual, that's all. It's hard not to stare at something abnormal."

Joshua giggled promptly and continued walking, the tanktop's ruffles blowing steadily in the window. "Should I wear fishnets tomorrow, Neku, or is that a bit too much? I don't want _all_ the boys floundering over me," he hummed deviously.

Neku paled and groaned. "Joshua, if you were fishnets, people are going to mistake you for a hooker."

Joshua's nose scrunched some. "Someone's moody. Just because I'm going to get more attention than you doesn't mean you have to be rude. Manners are everything, my proxy."

Neku grunted under his breath and reached for his lanyard, turning the volume up. "I'm going to tune you out now," he stated, feigning politeness, and proceeded to crank the volume higher.

Joshua rolled his eyes and continued walking, now alongside Neku, as he ate his ice-cream. His sandals made a constant flopping noise as the pair approached Wildkat, five already sneaking in on their wristwatches. Once Neku neared the small café, he hurried his pace and headed inside, purposely letting the door swing shut behind him in Joshua's face. The Composer huffed and walked inside as well, letting the familiar aroma of coffee and pastries to fill his senses. It was a nice, welcome change from the dreary atmosphere of the high school.

"Hey Boss," Sanae greeted and looked to Neku who was eagerly taking a seat on the stool, "Phones," he added on to his greeting, regarding him with a chuckle. "What brings you two here? For a cup of jo, maybe?"

"Mr. H," Neku began, voice steady at first, "why, please answer me this, _why_ did you force Joshua to cross-dress in _my_ school for the entire _year_?!"

Joshua smirked and walked over, taking a seat on the stool next to Neku as he finished his cone. "He's been like this all day, Sanae. I think his hormones are messing with his mood."

Neku's eyes narrowed and he brought his headphones down around his neck, adroitly turning the music off before letting his gaze settle back on the barista. "…Now I can't get him out of my hair. He expects me to help him. I don't want a part in anything you two come up with. You two scare me sometimes," he stated dramatically, rubbing his forehead.

"Well, ya see, J lost the bet fair and square so he had to meet the term—" Sanae began with another chuckle as he rubbed at his stubble.

"I understand he lost a bet, but why did you make him do _this_?" Neku demanded, a hand flying overdramatically to point and gesture at the silveret beside him.

"Come on, Phones. You're overreacting. It's not like it's hurtin' ya," the café owner pointed out and rubbed the back of his neck before letting his gaze fall upon the Composer. "Didn't think you could pull it off, Josh. Kudos."

Joshua sniggered and flipped his hair over his shoulder, giggling pointedly. "You underestimate me, Sanae. I may have lost the bet, but I refuse to betray our deal."

Neku blinked. "_What_ bet?"

"Sorry Neku, top-secret," Joshua cooed and batted his eyelashes at the teenager before leaning his chin into his hand. "Sanae, be a dear and pour Neku a cup of coffee. Maybe the caffeine will loosen him up." He smirked somewhat.

"…Loosen me up?" Neku arched a brow. "The hell are you planning, Josh? Coffee doesn't work like alcohol, sorry…"

Joshua rolled his eyes. "Oh, stop being so fussy. I'm not going to rape you after you drink your harmless coffee."

"Well geez, when you put it that way," Neku sighed and eventually gave up, taking the offered cup of coffee from Hanekoma. "Fine, you two are going to keep me in the dark, as usual. That's fine. Moving on…why, of all things, did you pick cross-dressing? Couldn't you have picked a better punishment? Like community service or actually doing his _job_ for once?"

Joshua ran a hand leisurely through his hair, looking at Neku's coffee. "It's on the house, by the way," he stated to the red-head, adding on, "I'm paying," before his Producer could come up with a witty lie that would result in Neku paying.

"Ya see, Phones, that's top-secret as well," the Producer chortled and leaned against the counter, eyes glimmering behind his sunglasses.

"You two are hopeless," Neku heaved and pushed his coffee to the side as he buried his face in his arms, hiding it from view against the table.

"Well, if you're gonna be spendin' alotta time with Boss, Phones, you might as well help him," Sanae suggested as he went about glancing over some stock behind the counter.

Joshua blinked. "Help me?" he echoed, his teasing tone vanishing.

"You know, with your work, your Music. Ya know," Mr. Hanekoma hummed and began rearranging a few cups on the shelf. "Phones'll do ya some good."

"There are two things wrong with your proposition, Sanae," Joshua stated slowly, calculatingly. "One being I work alone, and two, Neku is _quite _alive and I have no use for him in the UG, so I'll spare him the pain of being shot a third time." He tossed the boy an invisible snigger.

Neku kept his face against the counter, emitting grunts every now and then, not wanting to take part in the pointless nattering going on around him.

"Neku's perceptive of the UG, Boss."

Joshua licked his lips restlessly and laced his hands under his chin. "He wouldn't be able to tap into enough powers to adequately read and deal with Music. Besides, not even my Conductor is allowed to tamper with my Music—he's only allowed to carry out the orders and conduct that is given from it. Why would you think that I would let someone _alive _touch it?"

Sanae glanced over his shoulder and shot the Composer a meaningful stare. "Boss…"

Joshua groaned histrionically and folded his arms to his chest this time, the tank top nearly catching between his fingers. "He won't be able to hear it, regardless. No point in trying."

"You're acting like I'm not here," Neku mumbled against the table, indulging in the darkness such provided.

"We're having an adult discussion," Joshua lilted and looked to Mr. Hanekoma with a sharp stare. "Are you purposing we make another bet regarding Neku's musical abilities?"

Neku lifted his head and blanched some. "God, _no. _No more bets."

"Fine," Joshua sighed and strummed his fingers twitchily against the counter, unable to sit still today.

Neku rubbed at his eyes, a small yawn escaping his lips as his stomach rumbled. "Mr. H…does Joshua really have to keep this up for a year? A month sounds more reasonable…come on," he urged.

"A deal's a deal," Sanae hummed and looked to Joshua with a slight smirk, "unless, of course, Josh wants to deal with the consequences of forfeiting."

"I'll pass," Joshua stated dryly and slipped off the stool, arms stretching above his head. "Well Neku, are you ready?"

"…Ready?" Neku repeated and looked over his shoulder at Joshua. "We're not going anywhere else today, Josh. I'm going home, taking a shower, and sleeping. You can gallivant wherever you want, but I just want rest."

Joshua giggled and watched as his ex-partner got off his stool and fiddled with his headphones. Their eyes met after a moment and Neku gulped. "Neku~"

"…Yesss?" Neku murmured, now avoiding eye-contact as he messed with the square on the right headphone.

"I don't have anywhere else to stay save for your place," Joshua cooed, innocently lacing his hands together in front of his lap in a similar fashion to a school-girl. His voice dripped of sickeningly sweet nectar and his eyes sparkled as brightly as the stars.

"No," Neku stated sternly and brushed past Joshua, headed for the door. "_Hell_ no."

"But Neku~" Joshua purred and followed after him, giving a slight wave to his Producer as they left. "You're the only one I trust doing my makeup. And besides, we can have some more quality time together, just like old times."

"No."

"But Neku—"

"I said no."

"Don't make me imprint you, Neku," Joshua warned teasingly, waving a finger at him.

"No means no, Josh," Neku growled slightly and pushed Joshua's finger away, meeting the Composer's gaze harshly. "First off, my mom won't let some random friend of mine spend the night during school-days, and second of all…you look like a girl. _Hell _will freeze over before she lets a girl stay with me overnight."

Joshua smirked and pushed his bangs behind his ear. "It seems that your only objections relate to your mother. I'll just teleport in and tada, no one will ever know."

Neku cringed and faltered for a moment. "Fine, asshole, you win… but you're sleeping on the floor, then," he sighed, walking on ahead with a grimace.

"Heehee, whatever you say, Neku~"

---

Neku awoke the next morning with heavy eyes and an upset stomach. The teen allowed his eyes to flutter open, greeting the morning sun with anything but enthusiasm. He sighed and proceeded to roll over, smacking his alarm off. He wanted to be lazy and absorb a few more minutes of rest before pushing himself out of his warm, safe bed…and was that a _foot_ nudging against his own? Neku tensed, the hair on his limbs bristling. Breath hitching, the teen looked nervously over his shoulder, prepared to come face to face with a rapist or murderer, but only saw half of Joshua's face—which wasn't really far off from his earlier assumption, anyway.

"I told him to sleep on the floor, damnit," Neku grumbled, nuzzling his face into his pillow as he rolled back over to observe Joshua in the dim-light.

During the week that Neku had spent with the silveret, never once had he seen his 'friend' sleep. Joshua was always the first one up and the last one to fall asleep when the day ended. It baffled Neku, really. Yet here Joshua was, slumbering lightly, on his bed, looking as peaceful as a newborn.

"You know, he's almost tolerable like this," Neku mused to himself, watching the Composer silently for a few more moments. With a sigh, he pushed out of his bed and headed towards the bathroom, ready to take a shower and face the new day with clean clothes, a clean body, and hopefully no Joshua-induced headaches. He made a note in his head, as he left the room, to make certain that a pillow would separate them if Joshua planned to share the same bed from now on…or maybe two pillows.

---

When Neku headed downstairs to retrieve his breakfast, he was met at the bottom of the stairs by an angry mother. The red-head titled his head to the side as he lingered on the bottom step, meeting his mother's harsh and almost murderous stare. He blinked and gave the innocent head tilt once more, hoping that she'd just scream at him now and get it over with.

"Neku…"

"Yeah, Mom?..."

"Since when have I iever/i allowed girls to stay the night in this household?"

Neku paled and looked weakly at his mother, his expression similar to a deer caught in the headlights. He gaped for a moment, struggled for words, and then settled upon staring at his mother wearily. "I…uh…she passed out. She had a rough night and I let her sleep upstairs in the guest bedroom."

Neku's mother bit her bottom lip and fiddled with her glasses, inhaling deeply. "If you two had sex, tell me now."

"What?!"

"…Neku, did you use—"

"Mom! We didn't do that...! God no, _ew,_" Neku spat and held his head, willing the images of Joshua to go away before they entered his mind. "No, no, no. We're not like that. We've never even held hands or anything. Ew, no, Mom."

His mother inhaled deeply. "I would ask you if you were lying, but the look on your face tells me everything. Even if you two are just friends, I don't want her staying over here at night, okay? During the day is fine if I'm home…but I really can't afford you accidentally letting go of your hormonal control and doing something you'll regret."

Neku cringed. "Okay, Mom."

"…Oh, and by the way," his mother stated as she began her climb up the stairs. "She's really cute. I'm _really _surprised you aren't dating her or Shiki."

Neku groaned and watched as his mother retreated upstairs, more than likely to sleep once again. The teenager sighed and dragged his exhausted body into the kitchen, only to be met, yet again, with a face. This time, though, it was the rather warm and smirking Composer, hands on his hips and—

"Joshua…what the…"

Joshua giggled and allowed his fingertips to dance over his grey arm-warmers that complimented the bunny parka he was currently wearing. The purple accent trim complimented the youth's eyes, and oddly the feathery, two-tier skirt he was wearing. The black and red blended together, tied together at the side with a thin chain that clipped to his belt. Neku swallowed and uneasily met Joshua's gaze. The outfit was far more conservative than the day prior, but oddly…all the more attractive.

"Like it, Neku?" Joshua hummed, twirling around with a grin. "Apparently I have your Mother fooled as well."

"Yeah…now she thinks I'm doing you," Neku grumbled and pushed past Joshua to get his breakfast.

Joshua smirked and slipped a skinny arm around Neku's shoulders, letting his body rest firmly against Neku's back. "Oh but Neku, you didn't seem to have any objections last night when you took me against your mattress, moaning my name as you—"

"…Personal space!" Neku hollered and flinched out of Joshua's hold, his ears burning as he moved to the fridge and tore a bottle of milk out from it. His harsh gaze instantly met the Composer's. "Seriously, don't touch me. If you're going to cross-dress and be a pervert, don't touch me."

Joshua rolled his eyes and began fiddling with the ears on the back of his hood. "I'm sure a lot of boys in your school wouldn't have minded being in your position a few moments ago."

Neku cringed. "Smug bastard," he grumbled, took a sip of the milk, put it back, and headed towards the front-door. "I'm heading off early. Come whenever, just don't give my Mom any more ideas, _okay_?"

Joshua gave a mock salute and watched as the ever-moody Neku left the house, closing the door behind him. The Composer sighed and lingered in the kitchen for a moment before Neku's mother headed back down the stairs, curiously looking to him with a smile.

"Did Neku leave already?" she questioned, looking at Joshua with a small frown.

"Yes, I believe I upset him," Joshua sighed and shrugged his shoulders, fingers flexing.

"He's easily upset…don't blame yourself," she urged and walked over, placing a hand on Joshua's shoulder. "He's been like this for a few years. I'm sorry if he comes off as distant."

"Few years?" Joshua echoed, hands shuffling into the parka's pockets.

Neku's mother sighed and looked away, licking her lips. "Please don't tell him I told you…I promised him that I wouldn't tell Shiki, Beat, or Rhyme…but I don't want you getting the wrong impression of him. You're such a nice girl, and I'd hate to see him lose a friend just because of this… He's a good kid, deep down."

"What happened?" Joshua was genuinely confused.

"A few years ago…maybe three, Neku's friend got in an accident," she explained quietly, eyes slightly distant. "His friend was supposedly meeting him down in Udagawa to play a game and look at artwork. His…friend never made it. It was later than night that we learned he had been involved in a car accident…His mother told me that he got up late and rushed out the door, and was probably rushing and forgot to stop for traffic…boys always think they're so invincible."

"Neku…" Joshua stated distantly, eyes glancing down at the floor. "I had no idea, thank you."

"Please don't tell him I told you. He's been doing so well lately. I'm almost certain he's recovered. Just…keep him away from Udagawa, all right? Every time he goes there, he returns in such a bad and distant mood."

Joshua appeared perturbed but quickly returned to appearing indifferent. "I will thank you."

---

Joshua entered his first-block class later than the day prior, having had taken a detour to school to check up on his city. When he finally did arrive to school, he had to rush around to collect his things and head to his first class. When he arrived, books in his arms and looking entirely flustered and shaken, it came to a surprise to the smug Composer that Neku gingerly lifted his hand from the back of the room, gesturing to an empty seat beside him. Joshua said nothing as he walked over, setting his books down and nearly collapsing into his seat.

"You look like you just got ran over by a bull-dozer," Neku noted with a quiet laugh, prodding Joshua in the arm.

"And you look like you're in a better mood," Joshua quipped and took out his notebook and pencil as the bell rang. "Considering you're talking to me and saved me a seat…"

Neku shrugged and aimlessly spun his pencil around in between his fingers. "I'm just not a morning person," he admitted and shrugged. "I thought you knew that by now, oh great Composer," he stated under his breath.

Joshua rolled his eyes and fiddled with his arm-warmers briefly. "If you're still in the need for another laugh, I was called bunny-girl four times before I got to this room. I'm not quite sure if that's a compliment or not…but…"

Neku shrugged again and trained his gaze down on his paper, watching both Joshua and Shiki out of the corner of his eye. "Bunny-girl, huh? You play the part well," the red-head teased and proceeded to stick his tongue out at the older.

Joshua huffed and narrowed his eyes. "Neku, are you insulting me?"

Neku smirked and leaned back in his chair. "Serves you right for keeping me in the dark, Josh~" he hummed as he began taking notes, feigning innocence.

Joshua rolled his eyes and fiddled with his pencil before he noticed a student sniggering softly over at him from the corner of the room. His eyes impulsively narrowed, the energy around him spiraling upwards. Neku seemed to notice the abrupt imbalance. The red-head glanced up from his notes and over to Joshua, whose fingers had taken on a faint glowing beneath the desk. Sweat formed on the back of Neku's neck at once as he quickly reached over and curled his hand tightly around Joshua's wrist. The Composer tensed and looked to Neku harshly, wordlessly.

"Let it go, Josh," Neku murmured, knowing full well what was upsetting the Composer.

"I will not stand to be ridiculed," he stated hazardously under his breath, the energy stinging Neku's hand.

Neku winced at the pain but kept his grip firm. "You're cross-dressing," he breathed under his breath, "ridicule is in the job. Now, stop being so sensitive and just copy the notes." He let go of Joshua's pale wrist and returned to his notes.

Joshua rolled his eyes and stared at Neku for a long moment. The glow on the pads of his fingers dulled a second later. He then proceeded to go about taking notes as well, still rather befuddled as to why Neku would save a seat for him. Maybe his ex-proxy was plotting his demise? Oh well, it was a nice gesture and he wouldn't press on it…at least for now.

---

"Yo Josh!"

Joshua paused halfway through the hallway, arms possessively wrapped around his textbooks. Neku had gone off somewhere with Shiki and had left him to find his next class alone. It didn't bother him that much, but now he was being called upon by someone and the thought really wasn't that settling. The Composer sighed and peered over his shoulder, almost sighing in relief when his gaze met Beat's from across the hallway. The skater hurried over, nearly tripping on his own two feet as he clambered over.

"Yo, you look nice today, Josh," Beat greeted and offered a bold smile. "School goin' good?"

"So far," Joshua giggled and uneasily pushed his bangs behind his ear. "Don't you have a class to be at?" he questioned, arching a thin brow in amusement.

"Ah…I usually skip this one, yo. Hate math," the skater reasoned and shrugged aimlessly. "Where's yous next class? I'll watch ya if ya want me to," he hummed and grinned once again.

Joshua sighed and shrugged his shoulders. "If you insist. I have Chemistry with Akij," he stated and allowed the blond to lead him down the hallway.

"Are ya comin' with Phones and all us later afterschool?" Beat questioned as they walked through a crowd of chattering freshmen who seemed to giggle and stare as Joshua passed them, giving the Composer a headache right away.

"Where to?" the Composer asked, glancing back up to Beat with a sigh. Neku's friends were so clueless.

"The pool, yo. We go swimmin' there during the warm months. In ground pool, too. It's tight," Beat chuckled and looked to his right to Joshua, giving another bright smile as he ran a hand over his beanie. "I think you'd like it."

Joshua almost paled, almost, before regaining his composure. "I'll have to see if Neku would mind."

"Nah, Phones will dig it. C'mon. I'm invitin' ya, that's good enough," Beat declared with an affirmative nod.

"Ah…well, I may have homework," Joshua murmured, resisting the urge to zap something.

"Jus' for a few," Beat urged. "C'mon."

"…Fine," Joshua sighed and dramatically offered a fake smile. "I'll go…"

"Great!" Beat grinned and continued leading Joshua to glass, ignoring the rather odd look he received from Shiki and Neku who were lingering a few doors away with Eri. Oh well.

---

"Joshephina, are you certain that you don't want to go in?"

Rhyme sat quietly next to the silveret, watching her friends swim around the pool with glee. The blonde turned her attention to the Composer beside her who was dangling his bare feet over the edge of the pool, letting his toes skim the water. Small ripples formed to the Composer's amusement. Rhyme giggled as she watched the ripples before lifting her gaze back to Joshua, awaiting an answer from the seemingly pensive teenager.

"I don't do pools," Joshua provided for an answer and allowed his right hand to skim over the water as well, tracing incoherent musical notes on the surface.

"Neither do I," Rhyme admitted and giggled when she noticed her brother dunking Neku into the water. "I only come because I enjoy spending time with them. I don't mind that they swim."

Joshua nodded distantly, knowingly, and allocated his gaze to fall upon the bare-chested Neku. It was amazing how graceful the red-head was in the water. But what was even more amazing was the fact that nothing _tragic_ nor dramatic had happened. No catastrophes, no Minamimoto showing up to blow his head off, no sudden crises in the UG, and no physical fights. When the Composer had agreed to the bet, he had assumed it would be hectic…but so far it had been boring, and almost cliché. He sighed albeit his amusement.

"You and Neku seemed off the other day…like you were upset with each other, is something wrong or going on between you two?" Rhyme asked as she removed her beanie, letting her short blonde hair flutter freely over her ears.

Joshua shrugged his shoulders, the ears on the back of his parka shifting. "We're not the best of friends," he murmured, "He has an attitude problem that seems to get on my last nerve. It's hard to tolerate" he added smoothly.

"Ah…but don't you want to be really good friends with Neku?" Rhyme pressed.

Joshua chewed the inside of his lip. "Oh, we are, I assure you—"

"As good of friends as Shiki and Eri?" She gestured to the two girls in the pool.

Joshua blinked a few times. "…No, we aren't best friends," he reiterated in a murmur, the fingers on the surface of the pool curling.

"But you want to be," Rhyme decided and closed her eyes, inhaling softly. "You don't have to lie, I won't judge you. I think it's nice that you wanted to improve your friendship. I think that…maybe Neku does too, but isn't sure how to."

Joshua licked his lips. "I doubt that."

Rhyme was about to retort kindly but was interrupted when Neku swam over, his usually spiky hair flat. The red locks of hair clung youthfully to his pale face as two, bright blue eyes remained buried beneath the wet strands. Rhyme waved in greeting and stood.

"I'm going to get some drinks, do you want anything Neku?" she asked, hands lacing behind her back as she smiled.

"Oh uhm…water's fine, thanks, Rhyme!" Neku stated and leaned against the edge of the pool, a foot from the Composer.

Rhyme nodded, waved to the pair, and headed off. Joshua sighed consciously and looked to Neku. Neither said anything for a moment.

"So, why aren't you in the pool? Afraid you're going to melt?" Neku wondered as he relaxed, eyes falling shut.

Joshua's brows furrowed. "Resisting the urge to drown you, actually," he quipped.

Neku's nose scrunched up as his eyes fluttered open to stare back at the Composer. "If anyone else had said that, I would have laughed, but with you? I'm not certain. You don't seem to really value death, considering you have reign over it. Death to you is probably like…getting up in the morning to me. It's something you're used to."

Joshua narrowed his eyes, almost offended. "Are you inferring that I find no remorse in death?"

"Josh, you didn't hesitate to shoot me…both times," Neku pointed out and closed his eyes again. "I'm just saying, ass. Don't get so defensive."

Joshua rolled his eyes and watched Beat carry Eri around on his shoulders through the pool. He sighed rather longingly before turning to his ex-partner once more. "If you only came over to bring up the past—"

"I wanted to see why you weren't in the pool," Neku clarified and looked back up at Joshua.

Joshua groaned. "I hate pools, Neku."

"That's not a good excuse," Neku decided and swam in front of Joshua's feet with a grin. "Come on, it's just a pool. We don't come here all that often."

"Neku, no, just go swim with your friends," Joshua urged and tucked his feet against the side of the pool.

Neku blinked a few times, almost lost in thought, before he grinned with a look of revenge sprawling across his face. The Composer arched a brow, uncertain, before his ankles were grabbed. The silveret yelped as Neku successfully yanked forward on Joshua's legs, causing the Composer to fall into the pool against him. Neku laughed, eyes shut, as he allowed Joshua's body to collide against his, managing to stay floating. His blue eyes fluttered open and watched in amusement as Joshua struggled to stay afloat, his arms eventually coming to curl around Neku's body helplessly. Strands of silver were now soaked and clung to his thin face, making him look rather pathetic. Neku couldn't help but laugh at the boy in front of him even more.

"This isn't funny, _Neku_," Joshua seethed, his teeth chattering. His lanky arms remained tightly woven around the floating boy, refusing to let go.

"Come on, Josh. You have to admit, it was pretty funny. The look on your face," Neku chuckled, not having stopped laughing once.

"I'm_ so_ glad you find this amusing, Neku," Joshua replied histrionically and glared.

"Come on, Josh," Neku repeated. "It's just water." He paused, noticing how strong Joshua's hold on him truly was. "Josh…can you not…swim?" His grin grew ten-fold.

"Of course I can swim," the Composer spat, his grip tightening regardless.

Neku smirked and pulled his body away from Joshua's limbs, swimming backwards a few feet. At once, a look of panic crossed the shivering Composer. Without a second thought, the silveret lunged forward, nearly sinking into the water. His arms curled back around Neku's torso and he glared dangerously up at him.

"Don't do that, Neku," Joshua deadpanned, his head coming to numbly rest against the other's shoulder.

"Geez, if you didn't know how to swim, why'd you come to the pool with us?" Neku wondered, simply gloating mentally at how powerless Joshua was like this.

Joshua didn't answer and remained against Neku, his parka and skirt clinging to his skinny body wetly. It was a few moments before Neku parted his lips to speak again but was cut short when his friend's voices reached his ears.

"Come on guys, stop with the lovey-dovey!" Shiki hollered from the other side of the pool.

Neku quickly looked over his shoulder and paled. Shiki, Beat, and Eri were staring at them with smirks and giggles. Neku gulped and quickly looked back to Joshua. "I'll help you out," he grumbled, obviously not entertained by his friends' behavior.

Carefully, Neku brought Joshua to the edge and allowed the shivering Composer to climb out, his skirt flattened to his thighs. Neku emerged from the pool moments later, walking to the right to a pool-chair. He snagged his towel and brought it over to Joshua, offering it with a shrug.

"Here, you look like a dead-rat," he muttered.

Joshua narrowed his eyes and seized the towel at once, wrapping it around his body. "Thank you, Neku, really," he stated sarcastically.

Neku, in turn, rolled his eyes and shifted his feet uneasily against the ground. "…I think we should be heading back," he decided, rubbing the back of his neck uneasily. Not only had he pissed off the Composer of Shibuya, but now his friends thought he was putting moves on him in the pool. Things weren't looking really bright at the moment and home seemed like the best option.

"I'm using your shower once we get back," Joshua stated, holding the towel tighter. "A nice, long, warm shower." He trailed off and looked to Neku. "I'll raise my frequency so that your Mother won't be able to see me if she happens to stumble into your room. Hopefully you will still be able to, my little proxy."

Neku rolled his eyes and looked to his friends. "I'm gonna say good-bye then we're leaving. Don't do anything stupid."

Joshua snickered and watched Neku walk away. Absently, the Composer allowed his arms to bring the towel up to his nose, giving it a small sniff. His eyes impulsively fluttered shut and he felt his body's tense muscles ease. Perhaps this cross-dressing ordeal wouldn't be so bad after all…

Oh, who was he kidding: He had only told Neku _half_ of his punishment, anyhow…

f


	4. chapter three

**CHAPTER**: three

Joshua Yoshiya Kiryu never remembered November to be so damn _cold_.

"That's what you get for wearing a skirt, Josh."

Neku walked alongside the shivering pale-haired Composer. The red-haired teen wore a smug grin as he took a long sip from his mug, indulging in the savory taste of hot cocoa. Joshua, on the other hand, was hugging his arms tightly to his body over the long sleeved shirt he was wearing. The Composer was, once again, wearing a skirt with leggings. His lanky legs trembled as they walked side-by-side, not really paying much attention to the world around them. After a few more moments of suffering, Joshua looked up and over to Neku, pale violet eyes shimmering with danger.

"I should just change the weather," Joshua stated through gritted teeth, his pale hands clenched in his sleeves.

"You could, but you won't," Neku pointed out with a knowing shrug. The teen continued meandering down the sidewalk, not even looking to the Composer he was speaking to.

Joshua frowned. "You don't know that, Neku," he stated sharply.

"Changing the weather will prove you have a weakness to the cold," Neku explained and took another sip from his beverage. "And you _hate_ weaknesses, right Josh?"

Joshua's eyebrows knitted together in frustration. During the past two months, Neku had somehow managed to learn him inside out. The red-head knew all his little quirks, all his pet peeves, and even worse, his weak points. The information bothered the Composer exponentially but he could do nothing without risking punishment from the Higher-ups. Neku was safe…for now.

"Cat got your tongue, Josh?" Neku questioned as he finally passed a glance over to his cross-dressing friend.

"Shut up," the Composer stated curtly, darkly, and all around tremblingly. His gaze averted and settled upon the upcoming intersection. "Whose _brainless_ idea was it to traverse to the mall on such a cold day as this?"

Neku snorted slightly. "Uh…Shiki and Eri and you came up with the idea."

Joshua frowned, again. "I had no part in this idiocy. I _despise_ the cold, Neku."

Neku sighed, slightly aggravated now. "Stop complaining. You're _really_ starting to act like a girl when you're not even trying," he teased in irritation and quickened his pace.

Joshua's eyes burned with rage but dulled after a moment. "Why thank you, Neku~ I'm such a great actor, am I not?"

Neku rolled his eyes and looked to the Composer once more. "Yeah…keep telling yourself that, Josh. Just because these past two months have gone smoothly doesn't mean you're going to succeed. There's still a hell of a lot of school to go through."

"No problem," Joshua purred, poking his fingers together lamely as he resisted the urge to shiver. "It's such a boring feat for someone as remarkable as me."

"Are you really that cold?"

Joshua blinked in surprise at Neku's sudden, off topic question. "No."

"You're lying," Neku sniggered slightly.

"No, I'm not."

"Yeah, you are. Stop lying, you're cold and now you're just being an ass about it."

The Composer cocked a brow and allowed his stiff shoulders to slacken. "And what if I am? Ridiculing me is just going to get you one step closer to erasure, Neku Sak—" the Composer warned.

Before Joshua could finish his statement, a jacket was slipped onto his shoulders. Once more, the Composer was rendered with only the ability to blink. His gaze drifted down and onto his torso that was now covered with a jacket from Jupiter. Pale, skinny fingers traced over the windbreaker before toying with the zipper. At last, Joshua's gaze wandered up to Neku who was a few feet ahead of him, walking briskly, now jacket-less.

"…It's too big on me," Joshua stated bluntly and quickened his velocity to catch up to Neku's side.

Neku rolled his eyes. "I'm surprised it doesn't fit your ego."

"This just proves that you're, indeed, fatter than me," Joshua purred in amusement, voice a fraction softer.

"No, it proves that I have more muscle than you and that I'm not just bones, Josh," Neku retorted with a shrug and stole a glance at the Composer. The Composer was so preposterous sometimes. "A thank you would suffice, you know."

"Why should I thank you for something I didn't request?" Joshua pondered and rubbed under his chin thoughtfully.

Neku blinked and shook his head in dismay. "Because it's only human to thank people when they go out of their way to help you without asking," he grumbled and shoved his hands into his cargo pants' pockets.

"But you didn't go out of your way, Neku. You were wearing the jacket~" Joshua pointed out with an airy giggle.

"Asshole," Neku muttered in defeat, lowered his gaze, and once again sped up across the street towards the mall.

Joshua blinked a few times, watching the headphone clad teen disappear into the crowd. He knew where the 'gang' was meeting, and he knew he'd find Neku there, probably pouting. Neku had such a bad attitude and such a horrible lack of humor-and a bad temper to top it off. The Composer sighed and fretfully dragged one hand through his hair, the other coming to rest on his hip. As he stood there, debating whether or not just to return to Neku's home, however he couldn't help but be overcome by the smell of Neku's jacket.

**xxx**

"Josephina…is that…_Neku's_ jacket?"

Shiki glanced accusingly at the pale-haired male, her arms folded to her chest. Her black stuffed cat remained tightly in her arms, nearly crushed to death. After a moment, one arm fell away and up to her glasses to tilt them slightly, eyes scanning shrewdly over the jacket. She blinked and then allowed her gaze to drift back up to the smug "girls'''.

"It _is_ his," she stated and then proceeded to giggle. Her pale hand slipped from her glasses and over her mouth, attempting not to die of unforeseen laughter.

Eri, who had earlier been discussing a sewing technique with Rhyme, looked up from the table she and Rhyme were seated at. The red-head stared at Joshua and then Shiki, unable to understand what was going on. The fashion-trendy girl turned to look at Rhyme who was grinning boldly, as if she had understood the reason for Shiki's incessant laughter.

"She's wearing Neku's jacket," Rhyme provided with a gentle smile.

"Oh…" Eri responded and twirled a strand of red hair on her finger before exclaiming, "Oh!"

The teen jumped up from her seat and scrambled a few feet over to where Shiki and Joshua were. At once, Eri developed Joshua in a hug, squealing similar to Shiki. "So you two are dating?! Oh my god, I'm so happy! Shiki and I were waiting for this moment! It's _so_ obvious Neku likes you. Oh god…" She released her grip to stare at the blanching Composer. "…So tell us, is he a good kisser?"

Joshua's face turned from ghostly pale, back to a soft pink. The Composer attempted to keep his eyes from narrowing, not wanting to blow his cover. "You're mistaken," he stated slowly, inching his way out of Eri's hold. "Neku and I are nothing of the sort. He simply gave me his jacket to borrow because I was cold…"

"Well _duh_," Eri giggled and slung her arm protectively around Shiki's shoulders. "A guy only does that when he totally digs you."

Joshua arched a brow skeptically. "I assure you Neku feels nothing of that sort…"

"You're so blind," Shiki sighed and looked to Eri. "So they aren't dating…that's disappointing."

"I know," Eri huffed and looked over to Rhyme. "They're not dating!" she called.

"Do you have to tell the world?" Joshua questioned, biting down on his lip to keep himself from erasing the three girls. He had a short temper as it was, and it seemed that today these three were hell-bent on testing it.

"We're just teasing," Shiki assured and reached out, gently placing her hand on Joshua's shoulder. "Neku's never taken an interest in anyone, so we just assumed that, considering all the time you two spend together, you'd eventually get together." She winked.

"…No," Joshua stated bluntly and shuffled his hands into his pockets, gaze averted.

"You're just as bad as him," Eri sighed dramatically.

"'Just as bad as' whom?"

Neku appeared on scene, jacketless, and obviously cold. His face was ghostly white and his body still shivered a bit. Joshua stared at him rather curiously. Neku had come into the mall first…so why was _he_ the first one to find Neku's friends? It made no sense. Joshua decided not to dwell on the idea for that much longer. Neku always _had_ been the cryptic puzzle.

"Hi Neku!" Eri greeted and waved at him, trying her best not to combust into laughter.

"…What's up?" Neku asked apprehensively, walking over to stand beside the Composer, refusing to make eye-contact.

"Oh, _nothing_," Eri assured and nudged Shiki in the side, who offered a nod.

"…That's reassuring," Neku grumbled and rubbed the nape of his neck. "Well uh, sorry I'm late. I forgot I had to pick something up for my mom, so I had to take a detour before I met up with you guys." A pause. "Beat's not here?"

"He didn't want to go shopping," Eri sighed, disappointment drenched in her voice. "I told him it'd be fun, and that he could hang out with me, but no…Sometimes I wonder…"

Shiki blinked and inched closer to Neku. She tugged lightly on his sleeve and raised herself up on her toes to murmur into his ear, "Eri likes him."

Neku nodded knowingly. "I figured as much. I think Beat likes her too," he murmured back.

"What _are_ you two whispering about?" Joshua interrupted, brows creased.

"Nothing that concerns you," Neku muttered and shrugged aimlessly.

"Neku, be nice," Shiki nagged, frowning slightly. She uneasily toyed with her shirt for a moment before looking back up at Neku. "Will you guys mind if I drag Neku over to the pet store with me? I need to buy chinchilla food and my mom hates when I walk around these places alone…"

"That's fine," Eri reassured before she meandered back over to the table to finish her discussion with Rhyme.

"All right," Shiki responded and looked at Joshua. "We'll be back shortly."

"Have fun," Joshua answered, almost lilting the words rather teasingly. Shiki didn't seem to catch on, but Neku did. The red-head bristled, grabbed Shiki's wrist, and began dragging her away from the small group.

Joshua sighed heavily and flexed his hands in his pockets. "Neku," he muttered histrionically before turning to look at Eri and Rhyme whose gazes were locked on him. "…What?"

"Oh, nothing~" Eri assured and got up. She slunk back over to the Composer and draped an arm around his shoulders casually. "Do you trust us?"

The question caught Joshua off guard. He had known both girls for over two months now…but the element of trust had never occurred to him. He blinked a few times, debating how to answer. Truthfully, he only _did_ trust Neku, but he figured the level of trust Eri was inquiring about was so low that it wouldn't prove fatal. With a sigh, the Composer nodded distantly.

"Good," Eri grinned and caught Joshua's hand in her own. "Because…Rhyme and I are going to help you with Neku."

Joshua instantly regretted his answer.

**xxx**

"Neku, why are you so uptight around Josh?"

Shiki cradled Mr. Mew carefully in her arms as the pair ambled quietly down the right-side of the mall. Neku, who had seemingly been misplaced in thoughts, glanced over at the brunette. His blue eyes instantly met her soft ones and he couldn't help but wince.

"Shiki…"

"You like her, don't you?"

Neku blenched automatically. "No," he stated defensively.

"Neku, don't lie to me," Shiki urged with a frown. "Trust your partner, right? Trust me, okay? If you like her, I won't say anything. Not to Eri, or Rhyme, or Josephina. I promise," the brunette explained.

"It's not that," Neku murmured and uneasily rubbed at his arm.

"Then what is it?" Shiki pried, instinctively holding her stuffed cat closer.

"It's just that…She's…Jewish, you see. And my family is big on the religion. My mom's a huge roman-catholic and she doesn't like me dating anyone outside of the religion so…" Neku trailed off, sheepishly shrugging his shoulders.

Shiki snorted under her breath. "You are _not_ religious, Neku."

"My mom is," Neku retorted stubbornly.

"No, she's not. I've known your mom almost as long as I've known you. I've never _once_ seen her yammer on about religion. You guys don't even go to church. Sorry, come up with a better excuse," Shiki answered, waving her free hand dismissively.

Neku mentally cursed the brunette and looked out to the crowd surrounding them. "I just don't like her like that, Shiki."

"Liar," Shiki huffed, shaking her head. "If you didn't, you wouldn't have crafted that lie."

"Okay _fine_," Neku seethed and lifted his hands up to his hair and proceeded to pull. "So what if I like her?" His heart clenched at that statement. Like _Joshua_? Like a _boy_? As if! He was just saying that so Shiki wouldn't keep bugging him that was all!

Shiki smiled knowingly. "You gave her your jacket. She likes you too."

Neku shook his head, defending himself. "No, she doesn't. Hell, I don't think I even like her _that_ much. She was cold and I had a jacket and she kept complaining so I just shut her up. Big deal. Shiki, please don't pry."

"Why are you so against dating her?" Shiki persisted.

"Because…." Neku growled and looked away, wincing.

"Neku?"

"Shiki," Neku breathed and closed his eyes. "Shiki," he began again, "Josh…Josh's…there's a problem, see. Josh is…"

"A boy?" Shiki hummed and continued walking innocently, toying with Mr. Mew's ear.

"_What?!"_

Neku's face paled and at once caught up to Shiki's. The red-head stared accusingly at the girl, face now a dark crimson. Shiki looked to him momentarily and offered a knowing laugh. "What? Do you really think I was that dense, Neku? Of course I know Josh is a guy."

Neku's gaze dropped to the floor, laughing uneasily. "I uh…well uh…why didn't you _tell_ me you knew?"

"Because it was up to you and Josh when you were going to get around to telling me," Shiki reasoned and patted Neku on the shoulder. "I know Beat doesn't know…but I'm not sure about the others. I don't _think_ they do."

"Good," Neku sighed. "…Josh made a bet, and if he doesn't have the student body convinced he's a girl the entire year, he loses."

"Ahh…" Shiki nodded and looked to the nearing pet store. "I promise I won't tell," she answered and tossed her best friend a smile. "You can trust me."

"I know I can," Neku answered and smiled gently, still a bit shaken up.

"Oh," Shiki paused, looking back over to Neku. "So, do you like him?"

Neku turned a million shades darker, pushed away from Shiki, and stomped into the pet store wordlessly. All Shiki did was laugh, shake her head, and follow. A woman's intuition was always right.

**xxx**

When the group of friends finally met back up again, it was at Mus Rattus. Eri, Rhyme, and Joshua were all clutching bags tightly to their bodies when Shiki and Neku returned, a small bag in Shiki's hand. Neku looked distantly around at the group, unable to help wondering if any of them knew Joshua's secret. He sighed to himself and looked down at his feet, listening to Shiki and Eri eagerly chatter about some sort of cute shirt in the store. Rhyme was looking at something and Joshua…_where_ had Joshua just wandered off to?

Neku's gaze lifted after a few moments and settled upon the Composer in the distance. Oh, he was just over at the counter talking to some guy…wait, some _guy_? Neku bristled as his gaze washed over a tall brunet male, dressed into employee clothing, happily discussing something with Joshua. Neku _had_ seen the shopkeeper before (during his weeks of the Reapers' Game). He remembered the boy as kind and attentive (not overly kind, as most of the shopkeepers got around him and Josh), but now he wasn't all that sure.

"Neku, what're you staring at?" Rhyme interrupted Neku's befuddled thoughts. The young girl tugged on her friend's sleeve.

Neku looked down at her and offered a small smile. "Oh, just clothes."

Rhyme sighed and followed the path Neku's gaze had earlier been glued upon. "Oh, Josh," she stated and nodded. "Are you upset with him?"

That was right…Rhyme knew as well, she was the first to admit that she knew. Neku shrugged. "Not really upset. We've just been off today, that's all."

"Ah," Rhyme answered and laced her hands innocently in front of her. "He seems to be enjoying himself."

"Yeah…" Neku trailed off as he watched the brown-haired shop keeper laugh and lightly smile at Joshua. Neku tore his gaze away and looked down to Rhyme. "See anything you want?"

"Hm…not really," she admitted and shrugged. "I usually shop with Beat at his stores."

"Oh," Neku answered and nodded somewhat before looking back over at Joshua, eyes slightly narrowed as the Composer actually _smiled_ back at the shopkeeper. He felt betrayed. But more so, he felt hurt. Joshua had _never,_ _ever_ honestly smiled at him before, and here he was, meeting a complete stranger, and actually _smiling_. Neku felt dislocated.

"Neku?" Rhyme asked, looking at him worriedly.

"I'm…heading back home. I don't feel well. Can you apologize to Eri and Shiki for me?" he requested, hands shuffling into his pants. He gave one last, deceived look to Joshua before beginning to walk to the exit, not waiting for Rhyme's confirmation.

Neku knew that he was acting immature and overreacting, but that didn't help the anger settle. He had managed to keep Joshua's lie going for two months, and all he got in return were snide remarks, mocking giggles, and barely a pat on the back. And what was even worse was that every single human being that believed Joshua was a girl also believed that he and Neku were going to end up together. The red-head shook his head in fury as he excited Mus Rattus, his weekend trashed beyond repair. He understood why he felt so mad…it was legitimate…but there was something he didn't understand, and it bothered him.

Why did he feel so jealous?


	5. chapter four

I actually have over twelve chapters of this done. I've just been too lazy to upload them, haaah. So if I ever don't for awhile, update, just prod me.

* * *

"Neku, when did you leave?"

The Composer of Shibuya stared sternly at the slumbering teen who was currently sprawled out on his bed. The sun was setting and it rare that Neku crawled onto his bed any time before midnight during the weekends. The pale-haired teen placed a hand casually on his hip as he inspected the silent teenager. His brows furrowed together at the lack of response at once. With a huff, Joshua sauntered across the room and took a seat on the edge of Neku's bed, violet eyes refusing to remove themselves from the grumpy red-head.

"My mom's going to catch you one of these days," Neku grumbled into his pillow.

Joshua rolled his eyes. "She hasn't yet, dear."

"Why don't you just change your frequency during the day while you're here instead of waiting until I'm already passed out?" the red-head complained as he rolled onto his side to better look up at Joshua.

"Because you're not special enough to see my heightened frequency," Joshua teased, flamboyantly flipping his hair. "I assure you there's nothing bizarre happening when you nod off. I just enjoy being invisible~"

"Hah, as if," Neku muttered and rubbed at his eyes. "You're just afraid I'm going to be able to see you."

"As if," Joshua echoed Neku's words and averted his gaze.

"See, you're being distant again, Joshua," Neku murmured and buried his face back into his pillow. "You better be glad I haven't' decided to throw you out of my house. Two months is completely pushing things."

"I've enjoyed it too~" Joshua lilted and laced his hands innocently in his lap. At once, his clothes morphed back into a pair of baggy grey pants and a light blue-grey shirt. The Composer yawned, visibly relaxed.

"So, who was that guy you were getting cozy with at the counter?" Neku mumbled against the fabric of his pillow.

Joshua's brow lifted curiously. "Mm…his name is Tak. He goes to our school—he's a senior," the silveret provided and gingerly lifted his hand to nudge Neku in the side. "Why, were you upset that I wasn't giving all my attention to my little proxy?"

"In your dreams," Neku quipped and shoved at Joshua's hand, his face still in the pillow.

"Mm…this must be one really long dream, Neku," Joshua hummed and caught Neku's hand briefly. He watched in amusement as the red-head peeked from the edge of the pillow over at Joshua, his face contorted in confusion.

"If you value your afterlife, Josh, let go of my hand before I decide to kick you out," Neku warned drowsily and stole his hand back, burying it under his body before the Composer had any time to snag it.

Joshua sighed fretfully as he watched Neku's face, once again, disappear into the bed. "You're rather grumpy lately, Neku."

"And you're rather annoying lately," Neku answered with an indifferent shrug.

"Aren't I always, in your eyes?" Joshua purred and poked his fingers together out of boredom.

"Yeah."

Joshua promptly rolled his eyes and closed his eyes. "You weren't supposed to answer that, Neku. That was a rhetorical question, my dim-witted proxy," the pale-haired teen pointed out.

Neku scoffed irritably under his breath and peered over to the Composer. After a moment of staring, he noticed that the teen wasn't staring back. ' Must be as tired as I am… ' Neku decided as he kept his gaze locked with the Composer. Within seconds, the teen's body began to radiate a light blue glow. Neku's eyes widened and he said nothing as the area around Joshua continued glowing before leveling off. The soft, blue glow was similar to the colour of the sky and the intensity of a lamp on a dull setting. The red-head remained gawking for a few moments before he instinctively sat up. He leaned a fraction closure and was instantly bombarded with a rush of cold. The teen winced, choosing to ignore the cold draft. Curiously, he extended his hand to touch the glow light that seemed to create ambiguous shapes at random. When Neku's hand made contact with the ethereal light, two things happened simultaneously. One, his finger was nearly frozen off his hand, and two, Joshua's eyes snapped open and Neku was shoved violently off the bed.

"What the hell?!" Neku demanded as his body made contact with the floor.

"Don't do that again," the Composer seethed, the glow remaining. His usually glimmering violet eyes had taken on a dark hue and were now sparkling dangerously down at the younger.

Neku gulped, unable to stand up out of trepidation. "Josh…what the hell is with the lightshow?"

Joshua blinked a few times before harshly looking away. "Excuse me?"

"The lightshow," Neku repeated and cautiously pushed his body up onto his knees. "You know, you're glowing right now and freaking cold. Care to explain?"

Joshua's gaze did not return to his ex-proxy. "You're alive," the pale-haired boy drawled.

"Really? I never would have guessed," Neku muttered sarcastically and kept a foot between the bed and himself.

Joshua scoffed and was silent for a moment. "…Is it gone now?"

"No?" Neku questioned curiously and tilted his head. "It's still there. What is it? Are you sick or something?"

Joshua bit his bottom lip. "How are you able to do this?" he muttered under his breath.

"Doing what? Joshua, what the hell is that light?" Neku demanded as he finally arose. The red-head sat back down on the bed, keeping a few feet between their bodies. The cold air that radiated off the Composer's body was intolerable and he tried his best not to shiver. "D-damn, you're so cold…"

"I raised my frequency," Joshua provided indifferently.

"…Can't you lower it before I freeze to death?" Neku barked.

"…I did," Joshua snapped and folded his arms to his chest, gaze glued to the ground. "I lowered it a few moments ago. You shouldn't still be able to see it."

"That doesn't answer my question, Josh. What is it?" Neku reminded and frowned.

"This, my dear proxy, is my Music," the Composer explained.

Neku fell silent. "I—"

"You're only supposed to see my body as dim…as if I'm fading," Joshua stated slowly.

"No, you've been 'all here' the entire time," Neku murmured, the conversation from Sanae Hanekom'a café fluttering back into his mind. Joshua seemed dead-set on keeping Music to himself. "Josh…Music? I…"

"I don't know how you're accessing my Music, Neku, but I suggest you stop now. My Music will only do your living body harm," the Composer stated cryptically, apathetically. "My Music is not meant for the ears of anyone save for me, not even my Producer. If you're going to continue tapping into it, I'm going to have to eradicate you."

Neku paled. "J-josh! I'm not doing this on purpose!" the red-head stated nervously, quickly. "Besides! There is no music. It's just a cold light. I don't get how you can call that music."

Joshua's eyes narrowed, offended. "Are you questioning me, Neku?"

A chill that was not brought on from the cold Music entered Neku. "Joshua, please…I'm not doing this on purpose. If I could, I'd stop. I'm freezing my ass and I can't stop so don't act like I'm doing this on purpose."

Joshua inhaled deeply. "I'll be spending the night at Sanae's."

Neku's stomach flopped at the topic change. "What, why?" He was unused to sleeping alone considering the Composer had been beside him, along with two pillows separating them, for over two months now.

Joshua did not provide him with a reason as he arose from the bed. The light blue light continued glowing as he peered over his shoulder to his ex-proxy. "I'll see you tomorrow," he offered indifferently. Two seconds later, Shibuya's Composer vanished, the cold lingering for a few brief seconds before warmth rushed back into Neku's bedroom.

"Asshole…"

Neku stared, perturbed, at the spot Joshua had been standing at. His stomach lurched and his heart clenched. Not only was Joshua being far more cryptic than usual, but now he was being unlike himself and running off in the middle of the night. And that 'Music'…Neku had never been so cold in his entire life. The red-head gulped and stood, knowing what he had to do. Quickly, the teen grabbed his jacket (apparently Joshua had left it here after borrowing it earlier the day…) and proceeded to leave his room and house altogether.

xxx

"Mr. Hanekoma. Mr Hanekoma, are you in?!"

Neku rushed into Wildkat, ignoring the CLOSED sign on the door. He held his jacket close to his body, prepared to face the intolerable cold air that Joshua was now associated with. However, all Neku met when he entered the familiar corner-café was the smell of lingering coffee and treats. A rush of relief and then fear engulfed Neku as he looked frantically around the café.

Sanae appeared from the back room a few moments later, rubbing his hands together. His gaze met Neku and he arched a brow. "Phones?...What's with all the shoutin'?"

"Josh," Neku offered and breathed in deeply. "Is he…is he here?"

A look of mixed loyalty crossed Sanae's face as he rubbed at the nape of his neck. He inhaled deeply, leaned against the counter, and offered a hesitant nod. "Wasn't supposed to tell you."

"What the hell, he told me he was coming here," Neku muttered in defeat and stared at the ground. "Asshole…"

"Now Phones, can you explain to me what's goin' on? Boss won't utter a word. He looks worse for wear. What happened between you two?" Hanekoma questioned as he chewed on his bottom lip.

Neku closed his eyes briefly. "Remember when school started and I dragged Josh here?" Mr. Hanekoma nodded. "Well uh…remember how he was pissed that you were suggesting I listen to his music?" Nod. "Well, somehow, I managed to hear it today…er, well feel it. I didn't really hear anything. Mr. H, it was so cold and…it wouldn't go away. I tried to touch the light that was coming from Josh and my hand nearly froze. Then Josh pushed me away and looked like he was going to erase me right then and there…I've never seen him that pissed before. He never loses his composure…not even at the end of my three weeks did he look that upset."

"Phones…"

"Mr. H…I didn't mean to see, hear, or feel his Music. It just happened."

"No one's been able to detect Joshua's Music before," Sanae explained and took a seat on one of the various café stools. The older black-haired male gestured for Neku to come sit behind him. Moments later, the troubled red-head was seated beside him.

"Then why me? Is it just because I was his pick or something?" Neku asked as he rubbed his temples, thoroughly confused.

"I don't know, Phones," Mr. Hanekoma answered honestly. "I've heard stories from the Higher-ups about other Composers and their Music. Ya see…to put this basically, Music can be many things. It just ain't melodies and harmonies, ya see…" He fell quiet. "You sure you wanna hear this? I don't wanna drag you back into the world of the UG."

"I'm alive…I don't mind hearing about it," Neku murmured and nodded absently.

Mr. Hanekoma nodded as well. "'aight. Well, Music can be many things. It's mostly an aura…I guess. A person's outer Soul, ya see. It isn't necessarily just musical notes and stuff… Perfect Music is a warm and lovely tune, though. Kinda like classical Music, almost. It's nice to listen to and can be heard by many. Then there's normal Music, which is just a quiet melody that seems jumbled up in some spots and has no real temperature or feel to it. Most people have that, ya see. No one really ever reaches perfection in their life. There's always mistakes and regrets that make a person's Music impure."

"So I have Music?" Neku wondered, head cocked to the side.

"Well, yeah, of course," Sanae answered. "Can't tell ya what yours sounds like. You can only choose can hear it. And ya can't do it consciously. Your Heart and Soul do that."

Neku heaved. "This is so weird…"

"Hah, I know, Phones," Mr. Hanekoma agreed and rubbed at his stubble. "You see, those two kinds are Music are what the Higher-ups approve of. There are two more types. The worst type of Music is as hot as fire and sounds similar to a person banging their hands against the piano. It's wretched…mostly criminals have that kind of Music. The one's that have a plethora of sins. Sometimes, they don't even have a feel to their Music, just a dreadful sound."

"…And Josh?"

"Josh…well, from what I've heard ya say, Josh has the last type of Music…" Sanae closed his eyes.

"…And considering you said the 'Higher-ups' approve of the first two…he has a bad sort of Music?" Neku guessed, hands uneasily playing with themselves.

"Yep," Sanae admitted. "Joshua's Music is rare…and rather sad, actually. His type of Music is usually extremely cold, like you said. The less severe the cold is, the better the person. Usually his kinda Music has sound to it. A cold and foreboding sound. Ya sure he didn't have any sound or melody?"

"Positive," Neku responded.

"Geez…" Sanae rubbed at his head. "He's doin' worse than I thought."

"What?"

"Hm?" Mr. Hanekoma looked over at Neku.

"Doing worse than you thought?" Neku echoed. "What's wrong with, Josh? He's seemed fine these past two months…"

"Ah…" Sanae chuckled uneasily. "J's a complex person."

"No shit," Neku responded and closed his eyes. "I'm starting to actually tolerate him. I… I don't see how his Music can be so corrupt. Sure, he was an asshole to me and shot me…twice, but I doubt he's that bad of a person."

"He's not," Sanae agreed. "The best word I can find to explain what kinda Music he has is broken."

"Broken, huh?" Neku closed his eyes. "Is there any way to fix it?"

"Josh's really protective of his Music, as you've seen. There is a way to fix it, but I doubt you're ever going to be close enough him to be able to do that, sorry Phones," Mr. Hanekoma stated with a frown, uneasily poking at a packet of sugar that he had snagged from the small dispenser.

"So he's going to suffer just because he doesn't want me to be close to him?" Neku questioned, slightly irritated. "Damnit, Mr. H. Why is he such a…such a brat?... Am I even going to be able to be around him without a wool coat?"

"It's odd that you can't tune out his Music, or that he can't cancel it out," Mr. Hanekoma confessed. "I'm sure it'll go away eventually. Joshua still has to fulfill his end of the bet so it's best that the Music fades in time."

Neku sat there in silence, letting the words enter his mind. "…What if I let him listen to my Music?"

Mr. Hanekoma surveyed Neku inquisitively. "And how do ya plan on that? I told ya, your Heart and Soul picks the people that can hear it."

"Joshua did something that let me hear it. All I have to do is make my Music …audible, I guess. I'm sure Joshua will be able to hear it," Neku murmured and rubbed uneasily at his arm. "Damn, mine's probably horrible."

"I doubt it, Phones," Mr. Hanekoma reassured. "You've got one of the brightest Souls out there, your Music is probably exceptional."

"Do you think…if that's the case, I'll be able to help Josh? I mean, I'm already helping him with your stupid bet, so why not help him with this? I still haven't forgiven him for what he's done…and he's still a total asshole, but I can't see him suffer like this. If I'm the only person who can see his Music, and maybe even make a change, then I'm going to do that. He gave my friends back their lives…He gave me an actual life, that has to count for something," Neku whispered.

"If you're that determined, he's in the backroom," Sanae interrupted and arose from the stool. "I'm headin' to bed, Phones. My room's upstairs, so if ya need me, that's where you'll find me. Don't beat yourself up too much over this Music thing. Lock up before you leave, 'kay?"

Neku nodded absently. "Thanks, Mr. H. Goodnight"

"No problem, Phones. G'night," the café owner responded and waved to the red-head before disappearing up the side stairs, to his bedroom.

Neku sighed heavily and closed his eyes. His mom was going to yell at him for being out so late, even if it was Saturday. Curiously, Neku peered down at his watch. Ten…that wasn't so bad, right? The red-head shook his head and got up from the stool.

"First the whole cross-dressing thing and now your messed up music, Josh. I'm starting to think you're more of a nuisance than a friend," Neku muttered sarcastically as he walked over to the backroom. He knew that his words were not true, but it helped him.

Quietly, Neku pushed the door to the back room open. The room was chilly, but not as bad as his bedroom had been. Neku's gaze wandered around the nifty, organized room before landing on the far corner. Joshua was curled up on the couch, a blanket tightly woven around his body. The soft blue light continued to pulsate from his body, even in slumber. Neku sighed heavily and closed the door silently before walking over to Joshua. The cold continued to grow, his body shivering more with each and every step he took.

"I appreciate your concern for my well-being, Neku, but I suggest you return home before you catch pneumonia," the Composer stated apathetically.

Neku was startled that Joshua was still awake, and yet at the same time not. Joshua didn't really sleep all that much to begin with. "Then I'll catch pneumonia, big deal. I'll be able to miss school legitimately that way."

Joshua curiously rolled over and looked up at the red-head. "You're shivering, Neku."

"Well duh," Neku murmured, averting his gaze.

"If you're uncomfortable, leave," Joshua advised, his voice containing no objections.

"Not leaving," Neku muttered stubbornly and took a seat on the floor beside the couch. "I'm kinda pissed that you ran off like that, Josh."

Joshua snorted with slight amusement. "Well then, I'm terribly sorry I upset you," the Composer answered with a snicker.

"Glad you're feeling better," Neku snickered as well and closed his eyes. "I talked to Mr. H."

"Oh?" Joshua yawned and inspected the red-head. "Would you like a prize?"

"Not funny," Neku grumbled drowsily. "I want you to raise my frequency."

"…What?" Joshua cocked a brow, appearing scandalized. "Why would you want me to do something stupid like that?"

"I want to help you," Neku answered with a shrug.

"Help me?" Joshua echoed with a frown. "Neku, I don't need any help. If Sanae told you I needed help, excuse me while I er—"

"I want you to hear my Music," Neku stated simply.

"Neku, raising your frequency won't do that," Joshua huffed. "It's different for every person. Besides, I doubt I'd be able to hear it. Very few people can hear your Music, you are aware of this, yes?"

"Fine, then don't raise my frequency," Neku sighed and rested his chin against the edge of the couch. "Your loss. I'm sure my Music is warmer than yours and can counteract the frigidness."

"Don't be ego-centric now, dear," Joshua warned and closed his eyes. "What makes you think that I can't hear everyone's Music considering I'm the Composer?"

Neku pondered that for a moment. "You might."

"I might," Joshua agreed and cracked open on eye to stare at Neku. "It's amazing how you're enduring the cold."

"Eh…" Neku shrugged and nuzzled his chin against the couch with a yawn. "It's just temperature."

"Heehee…so tough you are," Joshua cooed and sat up on the couch, stretching. "Well, considering it's getting late, would you mind if I saved us the trouble of walking and just teleported us back to your place?"

"I'd appreciate that, actually," Neku admitted and tore his chin off the couch and looked up to Joshua with tired eyes. "You are going to stay the night at my place…right?"

"You convinced me," Joshua giggled and brushed a hand lazily through his hair. "Just use extra blankets. I'll try to adjust my frequency so that you won't feel the effects of my Music as much."

"Thanks," Neku yawned. He was about to stand up when his world began spinning. The red-head yelped, clutching instinctively onto Joshua's arm. He closed his eyes, unable to stare at the spinning decor any longer. Once the sensation of vertigo faded, Neku wearily opened his eyes. The scenery of his room once again bombarded him. He sighed in relief.

"Home sweet home~" Joshua cooed.

"Indeed," Neku murmured and got to his feet, groping at his bed to keep himself steady. "Next time, warn me before we enter a blender."

Joshua snickered at the metaphor and took a seat on Neku's bed. "Tomorrow's Sunday…what are our plans?"

"I don't know," Neku admitted and sat down as well, grabbing for his pillow. "Sleep and play games, I guess."

"I love games~" Joshua purred, eyes glittering mischievously.

"…Ones that don't involve my death or erasure," Neku corrected and sprawled out on his bed moments later. The teen yawned and patted the spot beside him. "Get the pillows. I'm too tired to get them."

"I don't see why we sleep with the Great Wall between us," Joshua huffed, arms folding to his chest.

"Well, now that you're like a freezer, we kinda have to," Neku grumbled. "Now let me sleep."

"Fine," Joshua pouted and proceeded to snag the two pillows from the floor. He peeled back the covers to Neku's bed and shoved the two fluffy bodies beside Neku before slipping in as well, getting comfortable. Yes, Neku's bed was far more comfortable than Sanae's old couch.

"Goodnight, Josh," Neku yawned.

"Goodnight, my dear proxy," Joshua hummed and raised his frequency, figuring the cold wouldn't be as biting.

xxx

"…Josh didn't tell me he was inviting him," Neku murmured irritably as he sat across from Shiki at Sunshine.

"Who? Tak?" Shiki glanced curiously over to the line where Joshua, Tak, Beat, and Eri stood. The brunette turned her gaze back to the red-head and Rhyme with a frown. "Josh met him yesterday. They seem to already be really good friends."

"Yeah…" Neku grumbled and rested his chin into his hand. "I don't like the guy, that's all."

"Neku, why are you wearing that jacket?" Rhyme asked as she tilted her head to the side. "It's really warm in here…are you cold?"

Neku winced. "Uh, yeah. I've been cold lately," he admitted and sheepishly rubbed the back of his neck. He instinctively clutched the furry jacket closer to his thin form.

"Neku, are you…jealous?" Shiki questioned after a moment, leaning across the table to inspect Neku.

"Excuse me?" Neku questioned, his hand toying with a lock of red hair. "Of course I'm not jealous. Josh's a guy, I'm a guy, and that other guy is well, a guy. We're all guys. Why would I be jealous?"

"…I meant friendship wise," Shiki giggled, followed by a stifled laugh from Rhyme.

"Oh…" Neku fell silent as his cheeks burned a fiery red. "Okay, so maybe I feel a bit replaced. Big deal. If Josh is going to convince the entire school he's a girl, than it's good that he's mingling with Seniors," he muttered and closed his eyes.

"Jealous," Shiki laughed and set Mr. Mew down on the booth beside her and Rhyme.

"Am not," Neku huffed and swung his feet lazily under the table. 'I'm the only person so far to be able to hear…feel Joshua's Music. Of course I'm not jealous of some random guy he just met. I'm Josh's only friend other than Mr. H. I'm not jealous, Joshua is an ass.'

Beat and Eri arrived at the table moment later with two large trays. They eagerly set the food down and hopped into the booth, Beat beside Neku and Eri on the girls' side. Neku paused, glancing at the food and then at his group. "Where's Josh?"

"…Wit' Tak. Tallboy asked Josh if she wanted to sit wit' him and chat," Beat explained with a small, disappointed frown. "I said it was cool wit' me."

"I think Tak likes her," Eri giggled and covered her mouth with her hand as her other hand passed out the food.

"…They're eating alone?" Neku echoed and glanced across the restaurant. Joshua was indeed sitting at a table with the brunet. The red-head frowned and turned his attention back to his burger, suddenly irritated and replaced.

"Phones, are ya jealous?" Beat pried as he nudged his friend in the shoulder.

Neku blanched as the laughs from the girls arose. "Am not!" he grumbled, folding his arms childishly to his chest.

"Then I guess it's not a good idea to tell Neku that Tak paid for Josh's lunch," Eri informed Shiki a bit too loudly.

"He what?" Neku questioned, his hands morphing into fists under the table, neglecting his meal.

"Ah…" Eri gulped and looked nervously from Beat to Neku. "He paid for her lunch?"

Neku growled somewhat under his breath. "Oh," he muttered and picked up his burger. With another growl, he bit into it and began chewing, attempting to keep himself from rambling out of rage. He didn't quite understand why he was so upset, but he just was. After a moment, Neku placed his burger back down onto its wrapper. He quietly slipped out of the booth.

"Neku, what are you doing?" Shiki questioned, lowering her chicken sandwich from her mouth.

"Going to introduce myself," Neku stated simply and departed from his table, not thinking logically.

"…He's totally jealous," Eri giggled once Neku left.

Shiki sighed fretfully and held her head. "Boys will be boys…"

xxx

"Neku?"

Joshua cocked a brow as Neku slid into the small booth beside the Composer. The red-head grounded his teeth together, resisting the urge to chatter his teeth together. The red-head stared blankly across the booth at the nicely-dressed Tak, worker of Mus Rattus, with a small glare. The brunet blinked and innocently tilted his head to the side.

"Are you a friend of Josephina's?" the brunet asked, voice soft, tender, and kind.

The entire situation made Neku's body burn with fury, countering the cold air flying off Joshua. "Yes, I am," the teen stated slowly and folded his arms immaturely across his chest once more. "And you are?"

"Tak Kimura," the male responded with a gentle smile despite Neku's sharp tone. "It's a pleasure to meet you."

Neku rolled his eyes inwardly. "You work at Mus Rattus?"

"Actually…my father and I own the outlet in the mall," Tak explained. "I was just telling Josephina that when you came over, actually."

"That's nice," Neku murmured as his frown increased. ' He co-owns a store at this age? What the hell… No wonder Joshua is spending time with him. He's up there on the hierarchy, just like Josh. Damnit…'

"You're a sophomore, right?" Tak questioned as he grabbed a fry and ate it.

Neku grimaced. "No, actually, I'm a junior…"

"Oh, sorry," Tak chuckled and looked to Joshua with a smile. "So you're both juniors, that's cool."

"Indeed," Joshua answered with a hum and peered at Neku out of the corner of his eye. "Neku's my best friend, naturally."

'Hah! Take that!' "Oh awesome." He looked to Neku. "Guess I won't have any competition after all," he laughed and offered a smile.

Neku paled. "…Excuse me, what?"

"Oh, that's right," Tak stated and rubbed at his neck, smiling. He had quite the odd habit of smiling with his eyes closed. "I asked Josephina on a date this Friday."

Neku's frown grew in size. "Oh."

"Oh?" Joshua questioned and peered at Neku.

"Oh," Neku repeated and dug his fingers against his palm beneath the table. "That's…cool, I guess," he murmured and stared off into the distant, the cold from Joshua once again biting at his skin, even through the jacket. "But didn't you guys just meet?"

"What better way to get to know a pretty girl than on a date to the movies?" Tak wondered with another smile.

Neku frowned. ' If by know you mean molest her, then yeah, you're right.' "I suppose."

"Neku, you don't have to be so protective," Joshua giggled and placed a hand casually on Neku's knee under the table in reassurance. Neku, however, tensed up from the touch. His face turned a scorching red. He coughed awkwardly and quickly looked away, his face continuing to grow in colour. ' Goddamnit…this isn't happening to me…'

A moment passed. "Are you okay?" Tak asked nervously. "You look kinda sick."

Neku sucked a deep breath and passed a quick glance over at Tak. "Me? No, I'm fine. Just warm."

"Well, you are wearing a winter jacket," Joshua lilted, his hand remaining on his friend's knee.

Neku sighed heavily. "I have uh…heat flashes."

"…But you're a guy?..." Tak wondered uneasily. "And young?"

"Neku, I adore your witty little lies," Joshua hummed under his breath to the boy beside him. The Composer looked to Tak. "Neku's body is really temperamental."

'That sounded horridly suggestive, Joshua… If I wasn't so damn confused right now, I'd whack you upside the head, asshole…' "Uh, yeah. My body is sensitive to heat changes. I dunno, it's weird." He offered a fake smile and stared at Joshua's hand on his knee out of the corner of his eye.

"Ah," Tak answered and nodded curtly. He looked to Neku, meeting his gaze briefly.

Neku frowned. ' He's basically telling me to politely fuck off with his eyes. Bleh… I bet if he knew that Joshua was a guy he wouldn't be all over him. Stupid people. Stupid bet. Argh… ' "I'll…be back with the others. I'll talk to you later, Josh."

Joshua nodded absently. "See you then, Neku~" he hummed and watched as the red-head slipped out of the booth and across the restaurant. He disappeared from sight a few seconds later.

"…Are you two?..." Tak began curiously.

"No," Joshua murmured and shrugged. "He's just my best friend, I suppose."

"Oh."

"Yeah," Joshua mused and closed his eyes, his words conveying more to himself than he wanted to admit.


	6. chapter five

Quick update is quick~!

* * *

Neku felt Joshua's return before he heard it. The Composer entered his home and trekked up the stairs, abiding by the natural Friday cliché of staying out late. For some reason, the red-haired teenager had come to associate any cold draft or change in temperature with Joshua. True, over the past week or so, the cold became semi-tolerable, but there was still the notable difference whenever the Composer was around him. Absently, Neku wondered if there was truly a reason that he could hear—or more so feel—Joshua's Music while Mr. H and others could not. Was it just because Neku had been chosen as Joshua's proxy?

Neku, who was currently absorbed in a comic book, stared wearily at the door. He was not particularly excited about speaking to Joshua after the boy's 'date'. In fact, Neku had hoped that the Composer would be out all night, and by the time he returned, Neku would be passed out, with the Great Wall erected. Of course, the best plans seem to always be thwarted one way or another.

Joshua entered Neku's room, a tight-fitting, fur jacket slung upon his lithe body. Neku's gaze disdainfully peered up from the comic book. At once, the red-head's lips fell into a frown when he met Joshua's irritated gaze.

"That was the _worst _night of my life," Joshua seethed dramatically, nearly ripping the jacket off his body. Once removed, he frustratingly tossed the discarded garment across the room.

"What? Was it the fact you were out with a guy or just that he was a complete wuss?" Neku murmured with subtle interest, gaze settling back on his book. He chose not to comment on how much Joshua was acting like a hormonal female.

"That's not funny, Neku," Joshua quipped and stormed across the room, glare heavy.

Neku hesitantly looked up once more, debating whether or not to ignore Joshua entirely. "You didn't answer the question."

Joshua scowled hotly and pushed at Neku's shoulder, not caring that the red-haired teen winced at the sudden onslaught of cold that penetrated his body. Instead, Joshua smirked at the suffering and promptly took a seat on the bed beside his ex-proxy.

"D-did you _have_ to touch me?" Neku demanded, voice tremulous due to the myriad of shivers jolting along his veins.

"Yes," Joshua deadpanned and folded his arms nonchalantly to his chest. "The reason my night was so unbearable was because who I was spending it with," the Composer stated slowly, voice dripping venom. "Not only did he talk too much, but he acted as if he could easily dominate me."

Neku blinked and remained silent for a moment. And another moment…and then…

A chorus full of laughter erupted from Neku. Without warning, the ex-player fell on his back upon the bed, clutching at his sides as he bellowed laughs. Joshua, surprised, quirked a brow and stared at the fallen Neku. His brows creased automatically.

"Neku, why are you laughing?"

Neku brought his hand to his mouth, coughed, and allowed the laughing fit to die down. His eyes fluttered open—they closed somehow during his mirth—and settled upon the Composer. "Josh, he thinks you're a _girl. _Of course girls are submissive to guys, duh!"

"Not all are," Joshua snarled and looked away harshly, pointedly annoyed.

"Okay then," Neku snickered and sat up again, still holding his gut. "That just…was really funny, I'm sorry."

Joshua shot Neku an icy stare that mirrored the blanket of frigidness the Composer had brought with him. "No, it isn't."

Neku shook his head and laced his hands behind his head, leaning back against the headboard to his bed. The last thing Neku needed was to freeze to death in his own bedroom—keeping Joshua at a distance seemed like the best idea. "I knew the guy was a fruitcake from the moment I met him," the red-head mused, shoulders shrugging, as if indifferent on the matter.

"Sure you did," Joshua muttered and dragged a hand through his hair, his clothes beginning to morph into casual slacks and a t-shirt.

"I did," Neku reiterated sternly, chewing his bottom lip. "You just wouldn't listen to me, so I didn't even bother warning you."

"I think you were just jealous," Joshua cooed dramatically and looked to the ceiling. "Today marks exactly two months that I've been living with you."

"You remember those sorta dates? Man, Josh. Maybe Tak was right in his assumption that you were some submissive girl."

Neku received a harsh glare that immediately shut him up. "I only remember it because it was the day hell started for me," the Composer snapped and spread out on the bed, lying across it horizontally.

Neku, whose feet were now under Joshua's back, frowned, "Josh, get off my feet. Your weight is going to make them go numb or some weird crap like that."

Joshua snickered menacingly. "Oh, I'm sorry, Neku. I forgot that you were sensitive to my icy aura," the Composer deadpanned dangerously.

Neku sighed, utterly defeated. "Unless you want me to be footless, I suggest you get off my feet before they freeze."

Joshua shrugged and kept his weight placed securely on the red-head's feet. "You can always get prosthetic feet."

Neku winced, closing his eyes again. "I'll pass on that, thanks," he grumbled.

"That way, you could never leave Shibuya," Joshua mused in a hum, beginning to toy with his strands of hair.

"Where did that come from?" Neku mumbled, eyes shutting as he tried, in disdain, to ignore how frigid his feet were becoming.

"If you have a prosthetic foot, you won't be able to get through a metal detector. Thus, you'll have to stay in Shibuya," Joshua pointed out nonchalantly, almost in a cadence.

Neku inwardly rolled his eyes. "I can drive, you know. I'm getting my license in a few months."

Joshua's nose noticeably twitched. "I don't trust you on the road, Neku. Why do you trust yourself? Cars are dangerous things. Wouldn't want you to _die_ again."

"Gee, thanks for the concern," Neku groaned as his foot twitched. "C'mon, get off my foot, damnit."

"I'm giving you a quick lesson in endurance, Neku," Joshua informed the other coolly, smirking impishly. "The longer you can withstand direct contact, the more of a man you are." An airy giggle followed that.

Neku's shoulders hunched as his breath hitched. "Do you really want my foot to freeze? Are you _insane_?"

"No," Joshua purred, eyes shut. "Just severe."

"I think you're trying to deter me from leaving Shibuya," Neku muttered as he tried to will away the nipping iciness.

"Since when did my little proxy have such a mature vocabulary?" Joshua cooed tauntingly and cracked open an eye. A soft, lavender hue shifted to the right in order to peer curiously at the other.

"Since ever, ass," Neku quipped and absently lifted his middle finger into the air.

Joshua sniggered and coyly placed his hand on Neku's leg, watching in amusement as the boy tensed up and nearly howled in agony. "What's the matter, Neku? Regretting your words and actions?"

"M-masochist," Neku stated through gritted teeth, attempting to bat away Joshua's hand.

"That would involve me liking you, Neku," Joshua giggled and released his hand.

"I wouldn't be surprised," Neku snorted under his breath, revealing in the warmth that returned to his assailed leg.

A dark smirk spread across Joshua's lips. Slowly, _tediously, _the Composer sat up and leaned over Neku's sprawled out body. Silver hair, dangling off his shoulders due to his position, brushed threateningly against Neku's neck all of a sudden, jolting the red-head out of his repose. Eyes fluttered open, only to widen in sudden terror.

"…What the hell are you doing, Josh?" Neku demanded, a look of distaste on his face.

"Punishing you for being defiant to your superior," Joshua giggled, as if the statement brought him some form of enjoyment.

"By…raping me?" Neku guessed, lips pursed into a severe look.

"No," Joshua responded absently, his right hand lifting to touch Neku's jaw. The boy both winced and hissed in pain before jerking his head away. "Stay still, Neku," the Composer warned.

"You're going to kill me!" Neku objected, now trying to push the crazed lunatic off him and the bed entirely.

"Wouldn't be the first time, now would it? What's that saying…third time's the charm?" Joshua mused and allowed his finger to trace down Neku's jaw, marveling at how the younger squirmed in pain.

"Get off!" Neku snapped and shoved at Joshua's offending hand, nearly yelling at how much the other's appendage felt like ice.

Joshua shrugged. "What's the magic word?"

"Please?!" Neku attempted, voice hoarse and upset.

"No, that's the Player word. What's the magic word for my dear proxy?" Joshua hummed slowly as Neku's demeanor began to crumble.

"I don't know, damnit!" Neku growled.

Joshua sighed dramatically and moved his hand away from Neku's struggling one. With a second sigh, the skinny Composer pushed back off Neku's body and sat at the edge of the bed, eyes glued to the shivering red-head.

"Neku, you really ought to be used to my Music by now," Joshua murmured, annoyed.

Neku twitched, eyes staring wildly down at Joshua. "You just tried to kill me, you asshole!" he snarled and sat up as well, hugging his arms to his body. "How does that not faze you?!"

"I'm used to Death," Joshua stated indifferently and pushed his bangs behind his ear. "You should be too, after all."

"You're so…frustrating," Neku groaned and tugged at his hair, refusing eye-contact. "You would think, after two whole months, that maybe you'd be a bit kinder to me. But no, you're still an ass. An ass with a power-complex and no sense of morality. No wonder I'm the only one who can feel your crappy Music."

Joshua blinked, falling silent. His powerful gaze studied Neku for a moment, unchanging. A glint of something unrecognizable appeared in the Composer's eyes. Within a second, it was gone. "I didn't ask you to hear it, Neku."

"I can't wait until your stupid punishment is over," Neku decided and got off the bed, gaze burning. "Then I can finally get back to a normal life."

"What is normality anyway?" Joshua mused and laid back down, eyes shutting.

"…People who don't cross-dress because of bets?" Neku posed and shrugged.

"Watch your tongue, Neku," Joshua warned, biting his bottom lip.

"…So you'll yell at me for calling you abnormal, but you won't punish me for insulting your cruddy Music? The hell?" Neku wondered and walked to his closet, grabbing his jacket for extra warmth. "You're so messed up."

"This conversation is pointless," Joshua decided as he shifted to the right, taking up his usual position on the bed. "I'm going to sleep. Don't let the Reapers bite, Neku."

"Don't let the crazed math-geek erase you," Neku quipped and walked over to the bed, frowning down at Joshua's back. "…Why do you always sleep with your back to me, anyway? Does my breath smell or something?" A frown, as if not offended by the earlier banter whatsoever.

Joshua was silent for a prolonged moment before rolling over, his eyes still shut. "Better?" he murmured.

"…Dunno," Neku muttered and slowly sat down on the bed. "Crap, I need the pillows—" he began.

Joshua's hand seized Neku's wrist gingerly, ignoring the wince that the proxy suffered from the cold. "Forget about them for a night. You won't die, I assure you."

"What if your foot randomly touches me? I don't want to wake up missing a limb," Neku deadpanned, eying the slender fingers around his wrist.

"I'll adjust my frequency more," Joshua yawned. "Now let me sleep. I'm not going to repeat myself again." His hand did not fall away.

Neku blinked as the cold slowly faded. "…Why can I still see you?"

"…Hm? I thought I told you that would be the final time I—"

"You raised your frequency, and usually I can barely see you, but you're all still here, and it's not cold anymore…" Neku trailed off and blinked uneasily.

"…I didn't?" Joshua stated and cracked open an eye in subtle bewilderment. "Perhaps you've become tolerant, at last."

"…Maybe," Neku answered and tugged at the blankets with his free hand. "…'m sorry…"

"About what?" Joshua cracked open an eye for a second time, curiously staring at Neku's contorted countenance.

"…Kinda exploding a few minutes ago," Neku admitted and sucked in a deep breath. "You just tend to do…really, really stupid things. And really dangerous, too. I'm not like you, Josh. I don't have power…I'm not used to Death…I just wish you'd think a bit more before you did something. Be a bit more, I don't know, considerate?"

Joshua arched a brow, despite it all. "And to think I believed you hated me."

Neku groaned audibly. "I don't hate you, we've been over this a million times since you've decided to randomly move in."

A smirk appeared on Joshua's lips, crossed with the remnants of a smile. "Perhaps I keep forgetting."

"Perhaps you just need reassurance," Neku answered and yawned, nuzzling his face against his pillow. "I…still don't forgive you for what you did, but I guess I'm learning to live with it, I suppose."

Joshua fell silent for a second time, pale digits absently curling tighter around Neku's small wrist that had fallen against the mattress. When the Composer said nothing, the red-head cracked open an eye to peer through the darkness.

"You okay? You got all quiet on me," Neku mumbled, head cocking.

"Oh, I'm fine. Don't worry about me," Joshua cooed knowingly and closed his eyes. "Now, let me sleep before I decide to erase you once and for all."

Neku rolled his eyes, subconsciously enthralled by the lack of cold. "Whatever, 'night."

After five minutes, an echoed, "Good Night", rang through the clearing haze.

** ******

"Boss, what's with the sour look?"

Joshua said nothing as he walked through the deserted café. Wordlessly, the Composer slipped onto the stool and propped up one elbow before leaning his chin into his palm. Violet eyes automatically locked onto the barista. The remnants of a frown sprawled across his face, mirroring the inner turmoil that bubbled fervently in his stomach.

"J?"

"What can cause a mere human to become tolerant of Music?" the Composer wondered, his free fingers strumming against the counter.

Sanae's brows furrowed. "You talkin' about Phones?" Joshua absently nodded, feigning innocence. "Well… I'm not an expert on Music, Boss. I don't know what to tell ya. Maybe it's just a natural occurrence."

Joshua did not seem satisfied with the less than efficient answer. "There has to be a reason," the Composer murmured, lips falling into a displeased frown. His fingers gingerly began strumming along the counter, as if attempting to scourge for the answer.

"I'm sure there is, but I don't think it's gonna come to either of us," Mr. Hanekoma stated and offered a collateral grin. "But look on the brightside. You get to spend time with the kid, hm?"

Joshua blinked and spared a glance up at his Producer. "How is that _the Brightside_?"

Sanae snickered and turned his body, back facing Joshua. Casually, the fallen angel walked over to the coffeemaker. "Oh, stop denying everything. Time's running out, J. Either you're gonna fulfill your end of the bargain or…" He trailed off, grinning deviously at the coffee maker.

Joshua bit down on his tongue, a sour look appearing yet again. "Are you _determined_ to push me to my limits, Sanae?" he snapped, suddenly irritable.

"No," Mr. Hanekoma responded and leaned back against the wall, waiting for the machine to finish up the new pot of coffee. "Just concerned for your well-being."

Joshua said nothing and instead dragged his hand through his hair. "I don't need your help. You're my Producer—your job is to oversee the Game, _not _get involved in my personal affairs. If I want to terrorize Neku, I will. If I want to make the boy despise me more than he already does, I _will_. If I want to—"

"If you want to be happy, you're gonna deny yourself," Sanae interrupted and shook his head.

Joshua rolled his eyes. "This conversation makes no sense. It keeps going around in circles."

"Hey, you brought it up," the barista chuckled.

Joshua scowled. "I brought up the _Music_, you brought up the _other thing_."

Sanae beamed innocently. "Well, it's your problem, as ya said. I'm not gonna tell you how to run your afterlife…but…"

Before the café owner could finish, Neku appeared at the door, entering the café, gasping for air. Joshua, quirking a brow, spun around on the stool and inspected the wheezing red-head. A smirk sprawled across the Composer's face as he slid off the stool and meandered over to where Neku stood, looking as if he had just run a marathon.

"Neku, you're looking a little pale~" Joshua giggled, hand resting on his hip.

Neku, sucking in deep, quick breaths of air, frowned. "I…You disappeared _again_ without telling me where the hell you were going!" he snapped, hand over his chest. "I thought Pi-Face came back for revenge or some crap like that!"

"Aw, you care," Joshua cooed and spared a glance over his shoulder at his Producer. "I'm safe at any rate. Though, Sanae and I were just discussing you, actually. Ironic timing, you have."

Neku blinked, leaning against the wall to support his body. Running from his house to here without stopping took _a lot_ of energy. "You were?..."

"I was telling him how much of a cuddle-bug you were," Joshua teased, mocking a sweet look. "I woke up this morning with your arms tangled around me. My my, you better be glad that I didn't call the police on you."

Neku's brows furrowed together. "It's not my fault! Besides… I doubt that even _happened_."

"Oh, it did." Joshua smirked, dug into his pocket, and took out his phone. Casually, the Composer flipped it open and accessed his pictures. "Here," he sighed dramatically, ignoring the knowing snicker from his Producer.

Cautiously, Neku seized the phone. He proceeded to stare in mortification at the picture. He was, indeed, cuddling the Composer tightly. "Why the hell did you take this, creep?!" the red-head demanded, staring at the photo with mortification.

Joshua giggled, took his phone back, and walked casually over to the stool. Gracefully, he lunged up on it and tossed Neku a snicker. Disdainfully, Neku followed, muttering every curse in the book under his breath. "I bet you staged that photo."

"Keep thinking that, Neku," Joshua hummed and looked at Neku with shimmering eyes. "I'm not one for physical contact, but when I woke up and found your arms tangled around me…you were just too precious to push away~"

"Screw you," Neku deadpanned and resisted the urge to bash his head against the counter. "All right…ignoring your creepy stalker habits…wait, you're not cross-dressing today," he suddenly noticed, surveying the Composer's _normal_ clothes.

"Hm?" Joshua's brow pitched. "Oh, well of course not, Neku. You didn't have plans, I didn't have plans, so naturally I decided to not go along with my façade and charade. Besides, these clothes are so comfortable."

"Uh-huh…" Neku trailed off and decided upon staring at Sanae Hanekoma.

"You sound disappointed, though," Joshua giggled, hand raising to hide his mouth. "Did you _want _to see me in those clothes?"

Neku glared and proceeded to continue ignoring Joshua. "Mr. H, what were you guys _really_ discussing?"

"Music," Sanae responded at once, snagging the coffee pot out from under the machine. He carefully set it onto the counter before turning around to survey the two boys. "And the fact that you're becoming tolerable to J's Music."

"Yeah…it's not cold anymore," Neku noted, fingers absently tracing the grain patterns on the counter. "Do you guys know why?"

Joshua shrugged absently. "Either you're getting used to my presence…or you love me~"

Neku sputtered. "The hell?!"

Joshua giggled again, looking to his frowning Producer in utter amusement. "Oh, stop being so serious, you two. You act as if my joking is going to cause the pair of you a seizure."

"It just might," Neku grumbled, coughing some as he tried to recover from Joshua's _last_ statement. "You know, I kinda wish that you and Natural Puppy….whatever the hell his name was stayed together. You guys looked _so_ good together."

Joshua's face darkened. "Are you implying that you view me as a hormonal female?"

"I might be," Neku countered. "I mean, I thought only girls take pictures of guys when they're asleep."

Joshua's eyes noticeably lost their luster. "Neku, do you value your life? Just wondering."

"Boss," Sanae interjected and walked back over to the pair, laughing uneasily. "You boys have been living together for _how_ long now? Can you at least keep the bickering down to a minimum?"

"He started it," Joshua pouted, pointing an accusing finger in Neku's direction. After a moment, Shibuya's Composer laced his hands under his chin and inhaled deeply, eyes shutting. Neku blinked, head cocking to the right at Joshua's sudden laconic behavior. The Producer shrugged and went back to fixing up a new pot of coffee, adding cream and sugar accordingly.

"Joshua?" Neku pried, shifting uncomfortably. A silent Joshua was worse than a bickering Joshua.

"Shush, Neku," Joshua chided, eyes remaining firmly shut. Moments of awkward silence passed before Joshua's eyes opened, sparkling with curiosity. "Hm…" he murmured, lips smacking together thoughtfully.

"Hm?...Hm what?" Neku questioned.

Joshua said nothing, meeting his Producer's gaze with a smirk. "Oh, nothing~" he giggled rather innocently before slipping off the stool. "Well, I'm heading back to Neku's, Sanae. Have to do that lovely homework so I can keep my grades up~"

The café owner arched a brow, a look of unease spreading across his face. "…J, what are you up to?"

Joshua blinked, feinging innocence. "Nothing, Sanae. I'm just being a good role model for Neku."

Neku wasn't buying it either. "….Riiight."

Joshua sighed, but the smirk did not falter. Instead, the Composer seized Neku's wrist and dragged him off his stool as well. "Let's go, Neku. You have homework as well, you know. If you don't do it now, you won't ever!"

"…Now you're sounding like my mom. Stop it, you're being creepy," Neku complained, tossing his idol a hopeless stare before he was successfully dragged out of Wildkat.

*******

"Are you ever going to tell me what you were smirking about at Wildkat?"

Joshua glanced up from his homework, silver bangs concealing his eyes for the most part. The Composer pondered for a moment before setting his pen and books down on the desk. Wordlessly, he walked over to the stumped Neku, who was currently sprawled out on his bed, staring up at the ceiling.

"Oh, it was nothing major," Joshua giggled, extending a hand to playfully stroke under Neku's chin.

"Stop that," Neku murmured instinctively, swatting away the hand. "And what do you mean, nothing major? Your entire personality did a one-eighty."

Joshua sighed dramatically before sitting down beside Neku. "Perhaps I just don't want to tell you."

Neku frowned, sitting up to better gawk at the Composer. "What the hell! We've been living together for like two months now and you're going to keep something stupid like that from me? Gee thanks, Josh. Always knew you were a great and honest person."

Joshua smirked at Neku's reaction. "Your Music," he stated simply.

"…My what What?" Neku repeated dully.

"I can hear your Music, silly," Joshua giggled, oddly giddy. "It's a rather beautiful song, actually~ So pure, honest…catchy, too."

"You can?!" Neku sputtered for the second time that day. "I! I didn't give you permission to! Stop it!"

"Stop being such a child," Joshua chided and leaned closer, tapping Neku on the nose teasingly. "You should be flattered, Neku. It's rare that friends are so close that they can hear each other's Music."

Neku faltered, his witty retort dying on his tongue. "…So…all these days of cross-dressing and fighting only made me become closer to you?"

"Afraid so," Joshua mocked, eyes sparkling. "And now that I can hear your Music, there's no chance that I'll ever leave you alone, my little proxy."

"Ugh, great," Neku sighed and closed his eyes, collapsing back down against the bed. "This is beyond creepy. So beyond creepy."

Joshua shrugged. "Not necessarily."

Neku was silent for a moment. "So…what now? I mean, okay, we can hear each other's Music, that's great."

"Hm…perhaps a truce? I'm not sure how long I can go without teasing you, but~" Joshua trailed off, pointedly making eye-contact with Neku once blue eyes reopened.

"…Truce, huh?" Neku pondered the idea for a moment. "What would that entail?"

"No candids," Joshua snickered and proceeded to lay down beside Neku. "No random insults during school…hm… I can't promise you no erasure threats, because the look on your face is so darling when you think you're going to die~"

"…Was that supposed to sound considerate?"

"No, not really," Joshua hummed and closed his eyes, eyes straining to listen to Neku's Music. "So, are you Game for our little truce?"

"….I suppose," Neku decided, looking to Joshua carefully. The Composer looked so…so calm and at peace, despite the mocking retorts he was throwing out. "…You going to take a nap or something?"

"Mhm~" Joshua yawned, stealing a pillow and nuzzling his face into it. "Now, be a good little proxy and let your Composer sleep."

Neku sighed and began to remove himself from his bed but was stopped by a hand around his wrist. Perplexed, Neku stared down at his semi-friend. "…Uh? I kinda need control of my wrist, Joshua."

Joshua smirked softly in his sleep. "Did I say you could leave?" No response. "Didn't think so~" Neku sighed and settled back in. "Nap with me and I'll consider letting you hear your own Music tomorrow."

Neku blinked. "…. You can do that?"

"Neku, I can do _anything_," Joshua boasted and yawned again. "Now, be quiet before I erase you for good."

Neku sighed, smiled, and closed his eyes. "Yeah, yeah, have a nice nap too, Josh."

The last thing Neku heard before drifting into sleep was the remnants of an airy giggle, and the faint notes of a long-lost, melancholic melody that was tragically beautiful…and tragically alluring.


	7. chapter six

More quick updates \o\

* * *

"Neku~ Wake up, Sunshine. It's Sunday and you've yet to do your homework."

A guttural noise drifted from the back of Neku's throat instantly. The aforementioned redhead shifted awkwardly on his bed, burying his face impossibly further against his pillow. The urge to get up, get dressed, and get motivated was scant. So, instead of doing as the oddly cheerful voice instructed, he remained sprawled upon his bed, clinging to the last threads of sleep that he could. But wait…that hadn't been his mother's voice. With a second groan of dissatisfaction, Neku allowed his eyes to flutter open groggily. At once, blue met amused violet.

"Why doesn't this surprise me?" he complained, shoving his body up into a sitting position. After two months of seeing Joshua's less-than-lovely face in the mornings, it was ridiculous to be still considered surprised.

An airy giggle drifted through the room, followed by the sound of fingers strumming against wood. "Sanae wished to see us before we did anything today," the Composer explained, sitting in Neku's computer chair, gaze glued to his former proxy.

"Huh? Oh, Mr. H," Neku murmured and shifted off his bed, messing with his untidy hair. "What for?"

"He thinks he may know why my Music is suddenly not bothering you," Joshua explained casually, poking his index finger and thumb together in boredom.

"I thought we had decided that I was just becoming tolerant," Neku grumbled, wandering over to his closet. Quickly, he removed the closest shirt and pants, easily slipped them on over his boxers. Once dressed, he turned back to Joshua who was being quite peculiar this morning. "Are you going to answer me or not?"

Joshua merely smirked in response and leaned his chin into his palm, eyes raking over the redhead. "That shirt clashes horribly, Neku."

"Thanks," Neku muttered sarcastically and reached for his comb, frowning at his mirror. "Not cross-dressing today either, Josh?"

"I told you," Joshua reiterated. "I'd rather not when we aren't going near our little classmates."

Neku sighed, shook his head, and continued fiddling with his hair. "What does he think?" he questioned, changing the subject.

"About what?" Joshua wondered, head tilting.

"About the Music, idiot. That's what we've been talking about for the past five minutes," Neku sighed irritably and looked at Joshua's reflection, noting the smug grin on the Composer's face. "…You're not going to tell me, are you?"

Joshua shook his head wistfully, meeting Neku's gaze in the reflective surface.

Neku shifted awkwardly, setting his comb down. "Joshua Kiryu, as secretive and jerkish as ever," he muttered under his breath and reached for his lanyard, ignoring the furtive sparkle in his room mate's eyes. "Let's go."

Joshua slipped off the chair he had been reclining in, nodding affirmatively to Neku's statement. "Perhaps I'll even keep to my promise last night."

"What?" Neku paused, opening his bedroom door. He peered over his shoulder at the Composer, brow quirked. "What promise?"

"To show you your Music, Neku," Joshua giggled nonchalantly and brushed past Neku, out into the hall. "You forget so easily."

"Josh!" Neku said quickly, voice lowered as he stared, wide-eyed, at the Composer. "My Mom's home," he breathed dangerously. "Get the hell back in my room until I tell you it's safe or change your frequency, damnit."

Joshua eyed Neku carefully. "Afraid that your Mother is going to think you're being irresponsible?"

Neku's face turned a pretty shade of pink. "_Joshua_," he growled.

Joshua sighed histrionically and began walking down the hall, demeanor radiating callowness.

"Josh!" Neku sputtered and hurried out of his room, latching onto the Composer's arm. "What the hell is up with you today? You're acting _really_ different," he demanded under his breath, keeping the Composer from going too far into the depths of his home. "You're being purposely assholeish. _Why_?"

Joshua shrugged, smirked, and jerked his arm from Neku's grasp. "I already raised my frequency, you didn't notice?"

Neku paused, eying the Composer. He tilted his head. "….You did?"

"Of course I did. I'm not _that_ stupid, Neku," Joshua lilted and stood near the stairs, hand on his hip. "As much as I would love to scare your Mother into thinking she's going to be a Grandmother, I'd rather not get you into _too_ much trouble. It'd be such a shame if I didn't get to wander around Shibuya aimlessly with you because you were grounded~"

Neku said nothing, shook his head, and hurried to Joshua's side. "Even after two months, you're insufferable," he informed Joshua and headed down the stairs, in disbelief.

Joshua watched Neku with amusement and followed suit. Today was going to be quite the interesting day.

*******

"Hey boys, good to see ya!"

Neku offered a slight wave to the café owner and headed over to the counter, ignoring the identical knowing look on the older man's face that Joshua held. Something was definitely up, and Neku despised being the odd one out. Gah. It was times like these that Neku regretted even speaking with Joshua again. The idiot was more trouble than he was worth. Screw friendship and being civil.

"Boss, you gonna tell me why you ran outta this place yesterday wearing that mischievous grin, eh?"

Joshua glanced curiously at his Producer, taking a seat beside his ex proxy. "Mischievous grin? I assure you I was not doing such."

"J," Mr. Hanekoma stated sternly, ignoring the confused look spreading across Neku's face.

"It wasn't mischievous," Joshua pointed out, distractedly collecting a random packet of sugar. "I was merely amused at the fact that I could hear my proxy's Music."

Sanae Hanekoma fell silent, eyes washing over the pair of boys. "…That so?" he wondered, a faint chuckle lacing his words.

"Indeed," Joshua stated slowly, purposely, gaze meeting his Producer's meaningfully.

"No, J," Mr. Hanekoma responded sternly. "Ya still hafta—"

"Your wild point was proven, Sanae. Ther e is no need to continue this charade any longer," Joshua murmured simply.

"…What the hell are you guys talking about this time?" Neku interrupted, frowning at the sudden lack of knowledge. "I thought we were here to talk about Joshua's Cold issue thing."

Joshua shook his head, signaling for Neku to shush.

"That was no action of your own, J. That was the stipulations," Sanae reasoned and chuckled. "For all you know, it's normal."

Joshua glowered, eyes suddenly turning darker. "Sanae, I'll say this again. There is no way that I am going through with that harebrained—"

Neku hesitantly leaned back, uncertain what the two were arguing about, but from what he was gathering, it involved his Music. Which made no sense, really, because he couldn't fathom what they _could_ be arguing about that involved _that_. Confused? Neku was beyond that point. Wanted to walk about and call them both childish? Yeah, he wanted to do that too. Wanted to hang out with his other friends and ditch Josh? He was starting to desire that too, actually.

"Time's tickin', Boss."

Joshua frowned, watching his Producer carefully. "And if I don't?"

"I'll have to do it myself."

Joshua's eyes narrowed. "You'd be spreading lies, Sanae."

"Whatever you say, Boss. That was our agreement and there's no changing it."

Joshua cursed under his breath, dragged a hand through his hair, and turned to Neku, who was wearing a befuddled expression. "Never mind him, Neku. He's gone senile in his old age," the Composer giggled, a smirk crossing his handsome features.

Mr. Hanekoma snorted at that and turned his back to the pair, heading over to the coffee machine. "Now, before we scare Phones to the point of no return, let's get down to business."

"Ah yes, my Music," Joshua agreed, lacing his hands together under his chin. "What was your idea?"

"I don't think Phones just randomly became tolerant outta the blue," the Producer explained, pouring two mugs of coffee. "I think it turns a bit deeper than that, Boss."

"Oh?..." Joshua did not look pleased whatsoever.

"I think you're just the one who is changing, J."

Joshua and Neku's expression, for the first time in quite awhile, matched. "…Excuse me?" the Composer demanded, a slim eyebrow arching as Neku resisted the urge to laugh. Joshua? Change? Like _that_ would ever happen.

"Ya heard me. Maybe this whole arrangement with Phones is changin' you," Mr. Hanekoma suggested with a shrug. He turned to Neku, meeting the boy's skeptical eyes. "You said you weren't cold anymore, right?" Nod. "And you can hear faint music, right?"

"….Sorta. It's really far off, and I don't hear it _all_ the time, it could just be my imagination, because it's kinda depressing and—" Neku began with a determined frown but was cut short by Joshua.

"Now my Music is _depressing_? Seriously, this idea is ridiculous, you two," Joshua complained, lips pursed together afterwards. "I've been around far too long to randomly _change_ because I've spent two months with a teenager."

Sanae snorted at that as well, looking to Neku knowingly. "Be flattered, Phones. The change you're bringin' about in him is showin' in Shibuya."

Joshua said nothing.

"I…don't think I'm doing that, Mr. H," Neku stated apprehensively, licking his lips awkwardly. "Nothing's changed. We argue as much as we always have, we still insult each other… I still want to push him off a cliff. Everything's the same… I think."

Joshua glowered at the cliff statement and rolled his eyes. "What 'good' has shown in Shibuya to prove your point?"

"Most basically, the stock market."

"Ugh…" Neku groaned, head suddenly throbbing. "No more Economics, damnit."

"Somethin' wrong, Phones?" Mr. Hanekoma laughed, looking at the redhead in amusement.

"Oh, it's just a class Neku and I have," Joshua giggled and looked squarely back at his Producer. "Go on. Name something else more concrete."

"The City's Music. Even the Higher-Ups have commented how much better it's been this past month," the Producer explained. "They're awfully proud of ya, J. Shibuya's becoming the optimal plane."

"That's just hard work," Joshua boasted, biting his bottom lip, the traces of annoyance presence on his visage.

The Producer laughed once more and turned his attention to Neku, who seemed lost and distant. "Phones, I know this must be borin' yeah, but take it from me. Whatever the hell you've been doin', keep it up. Thanks for getting' into Boss' thick head and warmin' him up."

Neku blinked, grumbled to himself, and looked down, face warming to a soft red.

"Sanae~ You're making him blush," Joshua giggled and leaned over, pinching Neku's cheek.

At once, Neku swatted at the hand, offended. "'m not blushing, idiot."

"Your face says otherwise," Joshua chided and looked to his Producer again, noting the smug look on his face. "What?"

"Oh nothing," Sanae Hanekoma sighed and handed the pair the cups of coffee with a soft, mostly hidden snicker. "What are your plans for today?"

Neku ignored the question, took a sip of his drink, and then blinked. "So wait, you're basically telling me that I'm not affected by that freak Icestorm because I've _changed _him into a better person?" His jaw slacked.

Joshua frowned and shook his head, bangs falling in his face. "Don't be silly, Neku. You didn't change me. Besides, I was an amazing person to begin with. There was no room for improvement," he giggled.

Neku rolled his eyes and noticed the small nod the café owner gave him to confirm his statement. The redhead blinked in incredulity. He inhaled deeply and looked down towards the black coffee, allowing the pad of his finger to trace circles in it, watching in dull amusement as ripples resulted.

"Back to your question," Joshua piped in after a moment, "I'm planning on letting Neku hear his own Music."

Sanae cocked a brow. "You have fun with that, J."

"Oh, I assure you, I will," Joshua confirmed and took another sip of his beverage. A pause. "In case I need your assistance, may we use your back room? I've heard that hearing your own Music can tend to be a bit shocking. I don't need Neku dying on me again," he giggled, eyes glimmering surreptitiously.

"…Riight," the barista laughed and nodded. "Sure, use it all ya want. Just…"

"Just?" Joshua echoed.

"Nevermind," he chuckled.

Joshua rolled his eyes and slipped off his stool, looking to his _still _puzzled proxy. "Come along, Neku. We've got much to do." He walked past Neku, into the other room, leaving Neku and Mr. Hanekoma alone for a brief interval of time.

"Mr. H…what the hell were you two talking about that entire time?" Neku complained, looking helplessly at his idol.

The Producer chuckled once more, rubbing his stubble endearingly. "I'd tell ya, but that'd be infringing on J and I's deal. Ask him yourself."

Neku grumbled to himself, got off the stool, and followed after where Joshua had disappeared, muttering all the while about how damn confused he was and how no one was helping him. All he knew was that he somehow changed Joshua for the better…and Joshua could hear his Music…and the two were hiding something_ big_ from him. Something _really_ big that was upsetting Joshua. God, he really hoped it wasn't another plot to destroy Shibuya.

*******

"Music is a very temperamental thing, Neku," Joshua lectured, gesturing for Neku to take a seat on the couch as he pulled the curtains shut. For some reason, that mere action caused the redhead to tense. Why was he trusting Joshua again? Then again, if he wanted to kill him, he would have already…right?

"Okay," Neku answered uncertainly, brows furrowing.

"If, at any time, you feel any pain, tell me," Joshua stated, walking over to the seated redhead. His pale gaze swept over his former proxy for a brief moment. "Can you promise me that, Neku?"

The seriousness from the Composer's voice caused Neku to tense further. "Uh yeah, sure."

"Good." Joshua's ego-centric smirk was back. "Once you've heard your own Music, I'm going to experiment. It's for the good of Shibuya, mind you."

"…Experiment? What _kind_ of experiments?" Neku demanded, biting his lip.

"Just involving Music. Nothing to worry about," Joshua stated, waving off the concern. "The pain clause goes towards this as well. Stop me if you feel any pain."

Neku nodded and closed his eyes. A few moments passed without anything being said or done. Neku was about to open his eyes and tell Joshua to just _get on with it_, when he felt cold fingers brush up against his face. The redhead's face drained of colour, leaving him inert and stiff. He gulped down a lump of nerves as the Composer's artistic fingers brushed down from his forehead and onto his cheeks. During the process, a soft, warm melody began fluttering into Neku's ear. Except..it wasn't just in his ears. It felt like it was inside his _head_. He stiffened further as a wave of warmth engulfed him, making his sweater feel incredibly heavy all of a sudden. The warmth was then followed by the increasing volume of the music. It lulled his tense muscles into relaxation as the warmth tickled his face and body, making his head loll some against the Composer's touch.

"You doing all right, partner?" Joshua giggled, though there was a noticeable soft edge to his words.

"Hm?...Oh yeah, 'm fine," Neku responded, eyes still firmly shut as he indulged in the warmth, mind becoming easily enthralled by the notes of his own Music.

"Oh Neku, you're so conceited. Getting all drunk off your own Music," Joshua teased, lightly tracing Neku's jaw before allowing his hand to fall away, the Music dissipating with the contact.

"Huh?" Neku snapped out of his reveries and eyed the Composer. "Where'd it go?"

"It was brought on from my contact, silly," Joshua mused and smirked. "When I removed my hand, it left."

"You've touched me before now. Why didn't I hear it before?" Neku complained, skeptically meeting Joshua's gaze.

"I have to be focusing my powers on channeling it, Neku," Joshua sighed. "It's an elementary concept."

Neku rolled his eyes. "Whatever," he scoffed, rubbing his cheeks. He still felt warm and elated for some stupid reason. "Let's just let you hear yours or whatever else you wanted."

"Oh, I didn't want to hear my own," Joshua informed Neku, the smirk growing.

"…That's not what you meant by experimenting?" Neku frowned. Damnit, deceived again.

"Nope," Joshua giggled. His lips curved up further as he leaned in, watching as Neku tensed. "I wanted to see what would happen if I tried to tie our Music together, partner."

Neku blinked, blinked again, and then blanched. "Tie our…_Music together_?" He leaned away from Joshua. "Okay, don't get me wrong, but that sounds really…"

"Romantic?" Joshua guessed, the smirk never leaving his face.

Neku paled further, sweat forming on his face. Beneath that white resided a soft red, growing by the moment. "I…Romantic?! What the hell are you on?" he demanded, folding his arms stubbornly to his chest. "I was gonna say it sounded a bit gay, but whatever."

Joshua rolled his eyes and reached out sternly, taking hold of Neku's wrist. Without a word, he wrapped his fingers around the cool skin and closed his eyes.

"You're…being serious?" Neku stated, gaze traveling over the Composer's expression. Damnit, he looked so calm all of a sudden and just _damn_.

"Mhm," Joshua informed Neku and cracked open an eye. "Now, be quiet and let me concentrate, Neku."

Neku was about to ask what Joshua was hoping to find from forging the two melodies together, but he instead opted to remain silent. With a defeated sigh, the teen closed his eyes. Once engulfed in darkness, he felt his mind being picked apart. It was a weird sensation. Almost like a headache, but a moving one and he couldn't quite figure out what the hell was going on. The warmth came and went as his melody and Joshua's traded off in his head. It felt so weird…

Joshua stopped after a moment, withdrawing his own hand as quickly as he seized Neku's. Neku's eyes flashed open, confused, but glad that the foreign, bizarre feeling was gone. Blue eyes met violet at once.

"Something wrong?" Neku wondered, frowning.

"It's nothing," the Composer reassured and arose, stretching his arms aimlessly above his head.

Neku rolled his eyes and then looked off to the right. "…Joshua, what were you and Mr. H talking about back there?"

"Hm?"

"Don't play dumb," Neku deadpanned, gritting his teeth together. "You were talking about _something _important, and I have this stupid feeling that it somehow involves me. Now, are you going to tell me or spring it on me when I least suspect it like you always do?"

Joshua mirrored Neku's frown. "Neku, I don't know what you're talking about."

Neku growled under his breath and got to his feet, meeting Joshua's gaze harshly. "You," he began, eyes narrowing a bit, as if insulted by Joshua's secretive ways. "You _always_ hide things from me. First the whole proxy and Composer thing, then the Bet, and now this and damnit, Joshua. I swear to god, if whatever you're hiding from me this time is bad, I'll be done. I'll have had it. I can't keep this up, Joshua. I have a _life_."

Joshua blinked, dumbstruck. "Neku, what are you talking about?" he reiterated. "Why are you so upset?"

"You never tell me anything!" Neku argued, hands flying up to his hair, pulling, _hard_. "We've been living together for two months! I've known you for almost half a year now! If you don't trust me now, damnit, I don't know what to do! I _still_ trust you after all you did, and it would be nice if you returned the favor once in awhile!"

"…I do trust you, Neku," Joshua assured, falling oddly quiet. " I trusted you with Shibuya's future."

Neku twitched. "And you kept _that_ a secret too."

"I never lied," Joshua pointed out, frown growing. "I just merely left out—"

"Well, I'm asking you this now. Either you're going to lie to me or tell me the truth. There's no middle ground." Neku stepped closer, staring at his ex-partner, room-mate, _friend_. "What you and Mr. H were talking about…does it involve me?"

Joshua nodded carefully.

"…What about me?"

"I can't tell you that, Neku," Joshua stated simply, shrugging indifferently.

"Tell me!" Neku quipped angrily. "I'll play stupid if I'm not allowed to know! Damnit, Joshua! I just… I just want to be your friend, okay, and you're making it _extremely_ hard."

Joshua chuckled, almost a bit sadly, and brushed past Neku, headed out the door. "Figure it out yourself, Neku, and if you can guess correctly, I'll confirm it. Promise~"

Their gazes met from across the room and Joshua was gone, leaving Neku cold and confused.

"I just want you to let me in, damnit," Neku whispered to the quiet air. "I just…I just want to help you." He shook his head, words falling on deaf ears. Without another word, he left the room, determined to figure things out for himself, _without_ Joshua.


	8. chapter seven

Where has the time gone?

Neku stared blankly at his calendar, noting the scant amount of days left until Christmas. Damnit, it felt like just yesterday that school had started—new classes, new acquaintances, new teachers, new experiences, and oh yeah, a new room-mate. Speaking of said ' room –mate ', Joshua had yet to show up to sleep at his home for about a week now. Not like Neku missed it or anything—he cherished his bed and every single fiber of his blankets when the Composer was not there. But still, the absence of a second body after _three months_ felt so peculiar.

"Ten more days until Christmas," the redhead mumbled to himself, tugging on his shirt. "Shit, I still need to get Beat and Eri something," he realized, fumbling around his bedroom. He had already bought Shiki a few necklaces, Rhyme a plushie, and his Mother some kitchen set she had been nagging about.

"…And Josh," Neku added in aloud, a frown stretching across his face as he continued shuffling around his room, in hot pursuit of his pants. "What the hell do I get the Composer of Shibuya for _Christmas_?... Does he even_ celebrate_ Christmas?"

Neku shook his head, messy reddish brown spikes flying off in each direction. After having nearly torn apart his bedroom, the teenager stumbled upon his baggy cargo pants. Without a second thought on whether or not they were actually clean, he slipped them on and reached for his bag.

It had been like this ever since the end of November—Joshua had stopped showing up in the mornings _and_ sleeping beside him. Sometimes, the Composer would rest beside him, and if Neku woke up in the middle of the night, he would be gone. Sure, it had been awkward sleeping beside another _guy_, but Neku had gotten used to it. Joshua was a pest, but he was a good friend nonetheless. The pain had started to fade over the days and months, and all he was really feeling at the moment was burning curiosity. _What was Joshua keeping from him?_

Neku took Joshua's isolation as a bad sign.

"He probably has a lot of work in his stupid Game," Neku concluded, heading out of his apartment without bothering to fix his hair—it'd fix itself eventually.

The cold air rushed over him, causing him to flinch. That was right, Josh still had his jacket. A faint blush crept onto the ex-player's cheeks, but he quickly willed it away, blaming it on the biting wind that was gushing past him with no signs of alleviation.

"I'll buy him his own jacket for Christmas so I can have mine back," Neku decided playfully under his breath, hugging his skinny arms tighter to his chest.

"Neku!"

Shiki nearly tackled her friend to the ground, having all but jumped into his arms the moment he entered the junior hallway. The redhead, startled, wrapped his arms loosely around the brunette, laughing awkwardly. "Uh, something wrong, Shiki?" he asked hesitantly, ignoring the sniggers a few wandering classmates shot the pair. He instantly bit back the urge to toss them the bird.

"Nothing's wrong," Shiki urged, slipping away a fraction, but not entirely out of Neku's hold. "I just have so good news and oh my god!"

"…What?"

"My parents _finally_ agreed to let me have that Christmas party I've been telling you about!" Shiki explained happily, a brilliant smile etched on her face. "You don't know _how_ excited I am, Neku!"

"That's great," Neku laughed, smiling softly at the brunette as his arms fell away. "What day are you going to have it?"

"Christmas Eve, duh," Shiki sniggered, fiddling with her glasses as she stepped aside, allowing Neku access to his locker. "What other day would be more perfect?"

"Good point," Neku agreed, inwardly grinning as he twirled the lock.

Shiki paused, her excited rant ceasing for the time being. "….You're alone?"

"Hm?" Neku glanced up, stopping midway. "Alone?" he echoed, arching a brow as he allowed his bag to slip off his shoulder, onto the hallway floor.

"Yeah. Usually you and Josh are always together," Shiki teased, smiling benevolently at her best friend. "It's rare that I see you by yourself." It was true. If the Composer did not spend the night at his place, he would at least wait outside the school building for his ex-proxy.

Neku bit his bottom lip, offering a shrug. "Josh and I…" he began, hesitating. "We're.." He had no idea how to put it, because he wasn't entirely sure what he was trying to convey to the brown-haired girl beside him.

Shiki tilted her head, soft bangs falling in front of her glasses. "You guys have a fight?"

"What? No, nothing like that," Neku assured and focused his attention back on the grey locker. "We've just…kinda drifted these past few weeks. Nothing happened. I guess we're just realizing that we don't need to be in each other's hair constantly."

Shiki nodded, but then faltered. "…You're sad, aren't you?"

"Of course not," Neku scoffed, rolling his eyes. "Shiki, I'm not going to be sad if my friend doesn't walk with me between every single class. That's kinda childish," he pointed out, shrugging again as he opened his locker.

As Neku went about stuffing his bag inside, Shiki smirked teasingly, though there was a hint of subtle sympathy in her eyes. "But you have every right to be sad if your crush doesn't walk with you anymore."

Neku faltered, dropping the bag back onto the ground. Blue eyes widened and he shot his best friend a flustered and befuddled stare. "_Crush_? No no, Shiki, you've got it all wrong," he reasoned, stomach knotting. "Josh and I are _friends_. Hell, we're not even _best friends_. I wish you and Rhyme would cut it out already…"

Shiki smiled innocently, lacing her hands together in front of her. "Rhyme agrees—you two are so obvious."

Why was his lack of a love life always the topic of conversation around Shiki? "Obvious?"

"You're always smiling and teasing each other. It's just like any other normal couple. Always flirting and whatnot," Shiki sighed blissfully, leaning back against the locker beside Neku's. "I'm so happy for you. My best friend is finally falling in love."

Neku twitched. "I really hope that was a joke, Shiki."

Shiki giggled, hand flying up to cover her mouth. "It was…_mostly_. The love part was. But seriously, you two always look like you're flirting. I'm really surprised there's not something going on."

"I can give you one good reason," Neku concluded, grabbing his math book.

"Hm?" Shiki arched a brow.

"We're both _guys_," Neku deadpanned, tossing Shiki a meaningful stare. "I don't have anything _against _that sorta stuff, but seriously, I'd rather avoid it. I'm not into Josh, and I never will be. So please, enough with the jokes." Whether he was aware of it or not, a rather pathetic pout had appeared on his visage.

"Whatever you say, Neku," Shiki mused, turning her attention to her purse. "If you ever want to talk about it, I'm here for you."

Neku sighed. "…New topic, _please_?"

"Okay…" Shiki tapped her chin thoughtfully. "Do you think you'll be able to come to my party?"

"Of course," Neku answered with a nod, closing his locker and beginning to walk to first block alongside his friend.

"Good." Shiki smiled beautifully and glanced to her right. "Did you know Rhyme got her first boyfriend?"

"…Really?" Neku blinked in surprise.

"Mhm~" Shiki hummed, gaze returning to Neku. "He's a really sweet boy that lives a few houses down from me. Young love is so adorable…and just gah. They're so cute together. Eri and I cannot stop teasing them when they're together. Beat isn't necessarily happy that his little sister is dating so young, but he's made it clear to her boyfriend that he's not to hurt her, at all."

"I can see that confrontation now," Neku chuckled and sheepishly rubbed the back of his neck, book clutched tightly to his chest. "What about you? Considering you're hell-bent on conversations about dating today…you interested in anyone?"

Shiki smirked mischievously, swinging her purse side to side in front of her. "Maybe."

"…Who?"

"Not telling," the brunette beamed and quickly escaped into the sea of students, hurrying to first block.

Neku blinked, easily losing Shiki in the mess of pupils. The redhead sighed, shook his head with a chortle, and continued walking. At least he knew that he and Shiki's relationship was solid. The last thing he needed was for another friendship to be on the rocks. Then again, Shiki had always been there for him…who was he to ever think she wouldn't be? Neku smiled. It was nice to have friends like that.

First block went off without a hitch…until his gaze met Joshua's after a long moment of silence. Deep blue met surprised violet, and as quickly as they intermingled, the interlocking was gone, leaving both boys pointlessly staring down at their assignments. Neku inhaled deeply, fiddling with his pencil.

The more he thought about it, the crappier Joshua looked. Usually the Composer was filled with life, looked amazing, and was the topic of discussion among many of the juniors. He looked flawless—even as a cross-dresser. But as of lately, the Composer's complexion had become blotchy. His usually Adonis-like skin had faltered, leaving spots of red along his cheeks, mingled with unhealthy paleness. He usually had bags under his eyes, too, and barely spoke a teasing word, or any words for that matter.

And the whole not meeting him outside school today? That was even more alarming. Was the Composer pissed off at him? Hell, he didn't remember doing anything wrong. He had politely avoided any talk of Joshua and Mr. H's bet, knowing that any mention of it received him a glare. And hell, he had even avoided topics involving the UG…so why was Joshua hell-bent on being distant?

Damnit, Joshua being quiet was like a cow flying.

It just wasn't logical.

Biting back his pride, and irritation for that matter, Neku tore a piece of paper out from his notebook. Quickly, the boy scribbled a few words onto it and casually shoved it on Joshua's desk.

The Composer, who had once again been zoning out on his schoolwork, stared at the paper with an indifferent expression. Carefully, the silver-haired teen undid the messy folding and read it. '_Joshua, are you okay?...'_ He could almost hear Neku adding in mentally ' not like I care or anything '.

Joshua sighed, only slightly amused, wrote back, and tossed the paper to Neku.

Neku clumsily caught said paper and eagerly unfolded it. '_Don't worry about it. Actually, stay out of it.'_

"What the fuck?" Neku muttered under his breath, eyebrows furrowing. After a moment, he tossed the paper back at Joshua, a bit more forcefully.

Joshua eyed the response, giving a slight laugh under his breath. '_Stay out of what? Why are you avoiding me?' _The Composer rolled his eyes and wrote back, taking his sweet time.

'_It's not very studious to write notes during class, Neku.'_

Neku glowered. '_It's not very polite to keep me in the cold.'_

Joshua smirked faintly. _'Want your jacket back, in that case?'_

Neku twitched, oddly taking offense. '_What is wrong with you? Don't tell me it's nothing, and don't tell me not to get involved. I'm sick of you trying to be the tough guy. Tell me, damnit.' _He chose to ignore Joshua's question.

The Composer's eyebrows knitted together in frustration. '_If it concerned you, Neku, I would have told you.'_

Neku felt his face growing red in anger. _'Like you told me about the bet that somehow involved me?'_

A pale light began forming around the pencil Joshua wrote with. '_The Bet is none of your concern, Neku. Neither is my personal life.'_

Neku nearly ripped the paper up after having read that quip. '_Are you fucking serious, Josh? You've _made_ your personal life my concern ever since you started living with me—which by the way, I didn't mind, so I don't see why you just suddenly stopped. And this does concern me, because you've barely spoken to me this past week.'_

Joshua expression conveyed nothing. It was irksome. _'I've been busy.'_

Neku scoffed. '_So busy you've forgotten about your friend?'_

Joshua's brow noticeably lifted as he took quite a bit of time to write up a response. _'Neku, you've done nothing wrong. I've just been busy with the UG. I would appreciate it if you stopped berating me over the small details. If I knew it would upset you so much not to have my presence around you constantly, I wouldn't have done it.'_

Neku faltered, rereading the response a few times. '…_You're my friend, Joshua. I can hear your _Music_, which apparently is significant, so please. Don't push me away, damnit.'_

Joshua chose not to respond, instead wistfully working on his class work. Neku couldn't help but not feel slightly hurt at the Composer's actions.

"Yo man, It's close t'Christmas. Whaz got ya so down at sucha' great time, huh?"

Neku glanced up from his neglected meal, sparing a glance across the table at Beat, who was currently ingesting a tray full of nachos. The redhead shrugged in response, ignoring the sighs that emitted from both Shiki and Eri. Joshua hadn't arrived at lunch yet, and Neku sincerely doubted that the cross-dressing Composer would even show up. Damnit, he felt like crying in frustration. What the hell was going on? Why was Joshua being such an asshole to him?

"Neku?..." It was Eri this time who frowned and reached out, lightly caressing her friend's arm. "…You sick or something?"

Neku shook his head. That'd be a no.

"Need some water?" Shiki offered, gently gesturing to her water bottle on the edge of the table.

Neku shook his head. Also a no.

"Then what's wrong?" Eri pried, frowning as she stole Neku's hand, affectionately interlacing their fingers—Neku had grown used to Eri and Shiki's open displays of affections around their friends. True, it was awkward when a random student would ask if he was dating either of them, but still, nonetheless, it was nice. Having friends so close was a comfort.

"Don't wanna talk about it. 's stupid," Neku murmured, almost ashamed at how much he was letting this whole ordeal get to him.

"I'm sure it's not," Eri continued, proceeding to shake Neku's hand.

Neku sighed, opened his mouth to speak, but fell silent when Joshua sat down, a mere two inches from his body. The redhead instantly clamped his mouth closed and looked down at his own food, unable to meet the Composer's or Eri's gaze. Shiki noticed the oddity—usually it was impossible to get Neku and Joshua to _shut up_ at lunch. Then again, things _had _been off lately, but the brunette seamstress had no idea it was this bad.

"So uh…about my party," Shiki stated, hoping desperately to get the attention away from her sulking friend. "You all are coming, right?"

"Count me in~" Eri hummed cheerfully, catching Shiki's hint.

"Yo, o'course," Beat chuckled, tossing Eri a grin before going on to say, "And Rhyme."

"Good," Shiki smiled. "I—"

Neku did not hear the rest of his best friend's statement. Instead, he focused on the dreary Music escaping the Composer's entity. He saw Eri's hand slip away from his own, but he _felt_ the change in Joshua. Blue eyes innocently trailed over Joshua's appearance, noting the same things as earlier. He looked like Hell itself. With a deep inhale, Neku reached out, uncertain if Eri and Shiki's habits had finally rubbed off on him after all these months. Calmly, he placed his hand over the Composer's, not bothering to interlace their fingers like Shiki and Eri would normally do. This was weird enough.

Joshua's gaze lifted from the floor, shortly meeting Neku's.

"You can't get rid of me that easily, sorry, Josh," Neku stated under his breath, fingers tightening over the pale, cold hand beneath his hold—and was it just him, or was that icy aura slowly coming back?

"I wasn't trying to," the Composer stated simply, voice conveying no convictions.

Neku frowned, refusing to be deterred. "You going to tell me what's wrong, or am I going to have to find out myself? Eventually I'll figure it out, Josh…so it's better just to tell me now."

Joshua giggled emptily, finally allowing his gaze to meet his proxy's straight on. "I don't think discussing the UG at school is a very smart idea, Neku," he hummed and then lowered his voice, "after school…meet me at Wildkat. If you're really that stubborn, I'll explain my current situation to you there. Otherwise, I can handle it myself."

Neku nodded, feeling Joshua's fingers attempt to slip away. He allowed it, not wanting to make anything more awkward than it was. "I have no doubt that you can—you're the Composer," he whispered under his breath, "but sometimes, it's just better to have someone to handle it with you."

Joshua paused, façade slipping. "Hm…"

"Huh?"

"You're a marvel, Neku," was all Joshua responded with before beginning to eat, looking, just a fraction, brighter.

Neku walked uneasily out of the school-building, head hurting from his Physics class. Hell, how was he supposed to remember all that useless crap about vectors and momentum and impulses? The redhead sighed, stuffing his hands into his pockets, not allowing his anger over science and math to deter him from the inevitable—his confrontation with Joshua. Deep down, he knew none of this was his fault, and Joshua's anger was more than likely just misplaced, but it still hurt, a fraction. Joshua was his friend, admittedly, and yet he was pointedly ignoring him. Or avoiding. Probably both.

Neku, who had been spacing out, paused at the corner of the school lot. Rhyme was standing there cheerfully, waiting for Beat as she normally did—her school got out ten minutes before his, down the block, and he hated her walking home alone.

"Hey Rhyme," Neku greeted, forcing an amiable smile onto his face. "How was school?"

"Good," she responded gaily, her angelic smile lightening his mood. "How about yours?"

"Apart from Physics…fine," Neku sighed, shrugging his shoulders indifferently. "Beat might be a few minutes—Eri was bugging him about something the last I saw him."

Rhyme nodded, the smile never leaving her lips. "Thanks for telling me, Neku."

"Of course, no problem," the ex-Player chuckled softly, almost having forgotten how polite and meritorious Rhyme truly was. "Did Shiki talk to you about her party yet?"

The small blonde shook her head.

"Well, she will," he laughed. "She's really excited."

Rhyme nodded and smiled once more, her hands lacing together in front of her. "Neku, I wanted to ask you something."

It's always been Neku's fascination at how blunt Rhyme was without sounding rude or curt. "Hm?" he responded, head tilting.

"…Are you and Josh okay?" The smile finally left her face.

Neku frowned, hands flexing awkwardly by his sides. "…I don't even know anymore," he admitted, gaze falling to the sidewalk. "We're not _bad_, but we're definitely not good either. He's been avoiding me, I think, and won't tell me what's wrong. I mean, usually people that have something wrong always look sad, not upset and distant. Well…for the most part. It's hard to explain."

Rhyme mirrored Neku's expression. "He hasn't been coming with us lately."

"I know," Neku murmured, the frown growing. "I'll talk to him—in fact, I was headed to Wildkat right now to talk to him."

"That's good." Her smile faintly returned.

"Mhm." Neku trailed off.

"…Don't forget to look at things upside down, Neku," Rhyme quietly insisted, swaying on the balls of her feet merrily.

"…It's hard for me to do that, Rhyme. I don't look too deep into what people say. I just take it how it is," the red-haired teenager sighed.

Rhyme pondered for a moment. "Joshua is almost like Beat," she decided, nodding her head sternly. "They're not really able to express what's wrong with them. I know that when Beat's sad or upset, he tends to leave the house or just lock himself up in his room. He gets angry, but he doesn't do anything rash…not anymore." She looked to her feet. "But sometimes, when I know something really is wrong, I go to his room and we end up talking about it. At the time, he says he just wants to be alone, but I can see it in his eyes—he wants to talk to someone about it."

"…Rhyme," Neku said softly, eyes shutting. "I don't really know if that's the case with Joshua. He's…special."

Rhyme looked back up, smiling. "I know he's special to you, Neku." A soft giggle.

Neku's cheeks and ears burned. "I didn't mean that. Gee…why does everyone keep assuming that lately?" He bit back the urge to swear, not wanting to impose any bad methods onto the sinless girl.

"Heh…" Rhyme smiled knowingly and tugged on Neku's sleeve gently. "Well, go ahead and go meet with him, I'm sure he's waiting."

Neku parted his lips to argue, but swallowed the retort and nodded. "Right…Thanks, Rhyme."

She giggled and nodded again offering a small wave as she let go. "See you soon, Neku!"

"You too!" the redhead called back and continued on, feeling slightly better now.

The first thing upon arriving at Wildkat that Neku noticed was the lack of the warm and looming Sanae Hanekoma. He frowned, finding the disappearance atypical. Deciding it was best to just continue on inside, Neku set his bag down by the door and proceeded over to the counter, rubbing his hands together. Joshua still had his jacket and it was _cold_ outside, damnit. He really needed to remember to buy a new one—maybe after this talk or whatever.

The second thing Neku noticed was the box of tissues at the far-corner of the counter. Well, that made no sense. Wasn't Mr. H an angel or something? Couldn't they not get sick? And Joshua, he was the Composer. That seemed impossible, too.

"Neku?"

Neku glanced up, gaze meeting Joshua's from across the café. The Composer stood in the doorway of the backroom, tissue clutched tightly in his hand. Well, that mystery was finally solved, then.

"Hey," the proxy greeted awkwardly, gaze gluing itself to the tissue.

Joshua frowned, tossing it over his shoulder before meandering over to Neku, avoiding sporadically placed pieces of furniture. "I'm surprised you came."

Neku shrugged. "I said I would, and I did. I'm not going to let you push me away like some stupid toy or something."

Joshua smirked some, standing in front of Neku. Now that he was closer, Neku was able to notice how badly the bags under his eyes were without that stupid makeup. He noticed the discoloration of his skin more prominently, the dreary condition of his eyes that usually sparkled with mischief, and the anguish hidden beneath them. It almost made Neku sick.

"What's wrong with you?" Neku questioned slowly, deliberately not tearing his eyes away from Joshua's.

"Nothing," Joshua lied smoothly, rolling his eyes as he turned his back to Neku. "I am merely going to discuss the UG with you, nothing more and nothing less."

"…You're going to talk _business_? Joshua, that's _not_ what I came here for. Damnit, I came here to talk about what the hell is wrong with you!"

"Nothing is wrong," Joshua stated, audibly gnashing his teeth. "Do not test my nerves, Neku. Although you seem to have immunity around me, I may have to revoke that if you press too many buttons."

Neku fell silent, chewing the inside of his lip. "…Fine then, let's talk _business_." For now.

Joshua nodded absently and began poking his fingers together, as if bored. "Kariya resigned."

"…What?"

"Kariya resigned back to a GameMaster alongside Uzuki," Joshua stated curtly.

Neku said nothing for a moment until it clicked. "You're without a Conductor again?"

"Again," Joshua echoed, laughing bitterly. "That seems to be the case."

"Is that why you look so bad? Because you don't have a Conductor anymore?" Neku pried, not even bothering to ask why Kariya wanted to be demoted. It was evident that _something_ was going on between Uzuki and Kariya, even if it was subtle—he had known that much from his three weeks in the UG.

"The UG is placing a lot of strain on me, considering my responsibility is no longer halved. It seems that lately, it is taking all my power to keep Shibuya from slipping."

"…Isn't there anyone else you can promote?"

"Minamimoto doesn't seem like a reasonable choice," Joshua snickered emptily.

"Uzuki?"

"Her lust for power would be as deadly as Minamimoto's."

"777?"

"It requires a certain amount of knowledge to be the Conductor, Neku."

"…You're calling him stupid, aren't you?" Neku bit back a laugh, smiling faintly.

"I suppose," Joshua shrugged.

"Uh…Damnit, who else is there?" Neku fell silent, scratching his head.

Joshua said nothing for a long while. "I don't _need_ a Conductor, Neku. I can fair on my own once I get used to this rush," he stated sternly, brushing a hand through his hair before he sneezed. Actually _sneezed_.

"…Bless you," Neku interjected softly. "…Okay, so maybe you _can_ handle it on your own, but still. That's not a good enough reason to push your friend away from you, damnit."

Joshua rolled his eyes. "Friends are expendable."

"…Are you _serious_?" Neku all but snarled. "I'm _expendable?"_

Joshua refused to turn around, still. "I need to return to the River until Sanae gets—"

"No, like _hell_ are you leaving me again like this," Neku growled, forcefully weaving his arms around Joshua's skinny body from behind. "You're staying right here, telling me why you're being such an ass, and maybe then I'll consider letting you go do your Composer-job."

"Are you forgetting how easily I can erase you, Neku?"

Neku winced. "…I'm trusting that you won't." _Trusting that you're human enough to care about me._

Joshua sighed. "You still trust me?"

"_Obviously_," Neku grunted irritably, awkwardly resting his forehead against Joshua's back. "You were my partner…and you're supposed to trust your partner, and I do."

"We're no longer in the Game, Neku. There's no reason to continue such a pointless cha—"

"Okay _fine_," Neku growled against the fabric, tightening his hold around Joshua. "I trust you because you're my best friend."

"I thought Shiki was?" Joshua chuckled.

"And so are you," Neku snapped, grip continuing to tighten, his arms slightly shaking. "I've helped you for nearly four months now, Josh. _Four months_. The least you can do is believe me when I say that I'm your friend, damnit."

"Neku?"

"You keep pushing me away, damnit, and I don't fucking understand. _I've_ always pushed people away. _I've_ always been the one to be an asshole to people who have tried to help me. I was to my friend and he's…and he's…" Neku all but choked on his words, burying his face further into Joshua's back.

If the Composer didn't know any better, he could have sworn that his back was suddenly wet. "I'm not pushing you away, Neku."

"Liar," Neku muttered against the fabric, body quaking by this point. "You've always lied to me and I hate it, damnit."

Joshua had rarely seen Neku this emotional and mouthy when it wasn't playful bickering. "I assure you that I am not lying, Neku. I'm…rather shocked, to be frank, that you consider me your friend, but—"

"Our Music," Neku breathed weakly.

"…What about it?" His brows creased.

"It _has_ to mean something, Joshua. It has to prove to you _something_," Neku whispered, uncertain if he was trying to convince himself or Joshua at this point. "Mr. H can't hear yours and yet _I _can. Damnit, Joshua…"

"Neku, what are you implying?" He deflected it, again.

And Neku would do the same. "What was the Bet, Joshua?"

Joshua stiffened. "It's none of your—"

"Tell me or I'm leaving," Neku breathed, deadly serious, though he refused to move a cell.

Joshua sucked in a deep breath, surprisingly convinced by the simple threat. "…Sanae said, after our week together ended, that if I stayed my decision to erase Shibuya merely because of you, that I would be forced to face whatever he requested. Of course, at the time, I agreed, knowing that Megumi would ultimately fail."

"…But you kept Shibuya…"

"Because of you."

"…Shibuya had changed," Neku attempted in defense.

"I know, but not enough to make me not want to erase it and start over," Joshua stated carefully. "But I could not conceive erasing Shibuya if you existed within it."

Neku's stomach knotted. "So here you are, cross-dressing…"

"Well, not at this exact moment," Joshua pointed out.

Neku snorted softly, but still remained shaking, nerves at their pinnacle. "…You guys were also arguing about…something else you have to do because you lost?..."

Joshua frowned. "Neku, I refuse to tell you that."

"Why? The Bet wasn't that bad, and you kept that from me, too," Neku mumbled, confusion drenching his being.

Joshua sneezed again, causing Neku to jerk in surprise.

"….Damnit, you're really sick, aren't you?" the redhead sighed and released his grip at last, awkwardly rubbing his arms.

Joshua eventually turned around, holding back another sneeze. "Regretfully, yes, yes I am."

"…You're coming to my place," Neku decided, nodding to his own words.

"….What?" Joshua cocked a brow. "I've been neglecting you and making you feel useless and you're inviting me back over?" Neku was an enigma through and through.

"Yeah, I guess I am," Neku responded and lifted his gaze to meet Joshua's. "You're sick and I'm going to get you better, end of story."

"Get me better?" Joshua giggled. "And how are you going to do that?" He was relieved the deadly topic was now changed.

"Dunno yet, but I will."

Neku reached out and stole Joshua's hand, fingers curling around his wrist. "Let's go."

"…You're not mad anymore?"

Neku shrugged. "You never left. You could have easily transported somewhere else."

"…Touché," Joshua mused and smirked faintly. "….So I suppose this means we're shacking up again?"

Neku felt his ears burn as he led Joshua out of Wildkat, hand sweating slightly around Joshua's wrist. "…I guess so." His heart thudded at the implications, and his mind hurt at why he was reacting so embarrassingly.

Joshua smiled to himself, shaking his head. "Well then, who am I to pass up such an offer?" Because, this time, Neku was the one offering, not Joshua taking.

It made all the difference.

Especially when Neku's hand slipped down from Joshua's wrist and clasped his pale, cold hand.


	9. chapter eight

"Hm?"

Neku dully awoke on Christmas Eve to the sensation of slim arms wrapped around his torso. Blue eyes fluttered open wider, ears burning. Wearily, the teenager became aware of a wispy breath upon his nape. He was still sleepy, yes, and he wasn't exactly processing his current situation until one thought ran through his mind: Oh good lord, was Joshua _spooning_ him?

"Josh," Neku groaned, head spinning. He had to get up soon to get ready for Shiki's party. He still needed last minute presents and god; he needed to get up—preferably as soon as possible. However, the selfish entity within himself kept him inert.

"Hm~? Two more minutes, Neku," the Composer requested, face burying further into the Ex-Player's neck.

Neku's body tensed as his breath hitched. Did Joshua know how _gay_ this looked? "You're kinda breathing on my neck," he stated pointedly.

"Deal," Joshua sighed drowsily.

Over the course of a week, things had seemingly returned to normal—or, at least, as normal as things ever got with a demigod. Joshua had returned to sleeping beside him, stalking him in the halls, and mostly never leaving his side. In addition, the Composer's Music brightened—it felt warm and almost protective. They were becoming more like _average_ best friends now, _finally_, after four months.

"I need to get things ready for Shiki's party," the redhead grumbled, lifting his hand to push at the Composer's face.

"It's Friday, though~ We have today off from school, so sleep," the Composer urged persistently, his voice treading on annoyance.

"But—"

"Shush," Joshua reiterated, arms tightening around his proxy. "Or I _will_ erase you."

Empty threats, as always. "You do realize that you're—"

"Holding you, yes," Joshua interrupted and sighed. "Honestly Neku, you're awfully comfortable but talk far too much."

"No, _you_ talk too much," Neku complained. "If you don't let me get up, you're not getting your gift."

Joshua's brows furrowed. "My gift?"

"For Christmas," Neku sighed, coming to accept the fact that Joshua was not going to let go any time soon. He may as well stop complaining and let the ashen-haired boy indulge in whatever-the-hell pleasure he found in this.

"Yes…Christmas," the Composer mumbled.

"Do you… not like Christmas?" Neku snorted. "Are you Scrooge?"

Joshua did not respond right away. "Mm, perhaps I am. But honestly, I don't see the big point in Christmas—mostly the entire city _isn't_ of that original religion. Besides, New Years is such a bigger deal, he lilted, eyes shutting once again.

"There you go, going off on your stupid history tangents…"

"It's not a history tangent, Neku. It's common sense," the Composer mused in amusement.

"Uh-huh…well, if you're that big into the _little details_, I guess you can't come over on New Year's Day."

"And why's that?"

"We have to clean and _drive out_ the _evil spirits_." A smirk.

Joshua scowled. "That isn't funny, Neku. I'm not _evil._"

"I'd beg to differ," Neku murmured, snickering under his breath.

"…Why I haven't erased you yet is beyond my understanding," Joshua sighed dramatically, but then added on after a moment,"Still, I got you something, too."

"If it's a player pin, I'm going to—"

"It's not," Joshua assured with a snicker.

"Then what?"

"Have to wait for tonight," the Composer instructed.

"Why not tomorrow? You know, on _Christmas_?"

"I doubt your parents would want your friend over on Christmas," Joshua pointed out, arms shifting around Neku's skinny form. "So, logically, tonight would be the optimal time to give you your present."

"…I want you over."

Joshua blinked, his grip loosening a fraction. "Why?"

"You're," deep breath, "like my family now, Josh."

Perplexed, Joshua allowed his arms to fall away from Neku's body. His brows furrowed, mind attempting to mull over the statement that had just fled from his proxy's lips. Family? "Your family, Neku? How did I ever install that idea into your head?" A frown stretched across his drowsy face. The idea was befuddling.

"I don't know," Neku murmured honestly, staring blankly at the wall. "You've been over so much, and we argue just like any siblings and I don't know. I don't consider you my brother or anything, but just—you're just always there for me lately and it's something a family-member would do."

"…Not all families are like that, Neku," Joshua pointed out almost dryly.

"Mine isn't," Neku agreed softly. "Dad…"

"Hm?" Joshua's arms returned around his makeshift body-pillow.

Neku sighed at the return of the Composer's arms. "Dad had an affair with another women a few years back. I found out…and I told Mom. Dad blames me for breaking up the marriage. He said that any normal guy would want as much as he could get—he said he thought I was a bit off for not already having a girlfriend—which is stupid, because a lot of guys haven't had one yet either and argh… I hate my Dad, Josh…he hurt my mom so much…And now he's going to be over until the _third_ of frickin _January_ to 'celebrate' the holidays with his family. God damnit, I hate this time of the year so much, you have no idea…"

Joshua breathed in, warm breath tickling Neku's neck. "So you want me over tomorrow to make certain that you aren't caught alone with him?"

"Yeah, sad huh?" Neku shivered, eyes glued to the wall. "He always tells me he loves me," he began, "but sometimes I think it's just a force of habit."

"Has he ever…physically hurt you?" Joshua wondered slowly, carefully, dangerously.

"No," Neku responded at once. "Sure, he's yelled at me a lot, but he's never punched me or anything. But he's slapped Mom a few times—nothing bad like in movies or anything. They'd just get into these bad fights after she learned of the affair…sometimes I wish I hadn't told her."

"I'll come over," Joshua decided, interrupting Neku's confession. "I don't want him randomly taking out his unfounded anger on you."

"He won't," Neku pressed, frowning. "Dad's not…"

"People are complex beings, Neku. I'm not taking any chances when it comes to you," the Composer concluded and rested his face back into the crook of Neku's neck. "Now that that's decided, let me get a bit more sleep~"

Neku sighed, though he wouldn't deny the soft pink rising on his cheeks from the Composer's possessiveness. It felt nice to have someone other than his Mother want the best for him. Surprisingly, Joshua's concern wasn't shocking at all. "You can sleep all you want—I just need to go get things ready."

"Fine," Joshua groaned and rolled onto his other sides, arms abandoning Neku. "You're such a bad host, Neku~"

Neku rolled his eyes and pushed off the bed, stretching his limbs. His heart felt a bit heavy from talking about his father with another person, but at least the conversation had ended without any tears or hollering. "I'll be back around three to walk with you over to Shiki's," he declared. "I'm holding my friend's presents at the shops…" He grabbed his wallet from his dresser, sliding on a clean shirt.

"That's fine," Joshua mused. "I have a few errands of my own that I need to attend to before tonight, so that works well." Neku nodded and began sliding a new pair of pants on, ignoring the smirk Joshua sent him. "You're awfully excited about tonight, Neku."

"Duh… I'm actually getting to hang out with my friends at the holidays, of course I'm excited," the redhead retorted simply and zipped up his pants. "…Where'd you put my coat?"

"Mm…the one I've been wearing all the time~?" Joshua guessed with a giggle.

"Yes, that one," Neku responded, looking to the sprawled out Composer on his bed. "It's windy today and I don't want to catch a—"

Joshua's fingers glowed faintly. "It's warmer now."

"…You changed the weather?" Neku blinked.

"Of course," Joshua giggled infernally, the smirk growing. "Anything for my lovely Neku."

Neku shook his head in disbelief. "Well uh…thanks." He walked over to the entrance of his room, lingering by the door. "Remember, be back here by three, okay Josh? If you're not , I'm heading to Shiki's without you."

"Yes sir," Joshua chortled and sat up, dragging a hand through his flat hair. "See you then, Neku~ Don't go getting lost in the big, bad city."

Neku promptly tossed Joshua his middle finger before leaving, an evident smile on his lips. Today was going to be a good day, despite the gloom looming over tomorrow.

**xxx**

"Phones! Hey, what brings ya here?"

Neku carefully closed the door to Wildkat behind him, glancing around the warm café. "Is Joshua here?" he questioned abruptly, a frown on his lips.

The café owner, in returned, cocked a brow and leaned against the counter. "No…don't tell me you and him are fightin' again and he ran off," the black-haired Producer sighed and shook his head. "Kids nowadays, I swear—"

"No, we're fine," Neku assured. "We're meeting back up at three—I just wanted to make certain he wasn't here," the redhead hurriedly explained and walked over to the stool, hopping up onto it. "So uh, how have you been?"

Sanae arched his brow further. Now, why would Neku not want Joshua here? Was that hope in his eyes? "Oh, just fine, Phones. What about yourself?"

"Good," Neku responded and uneasily looked down at his hands. "Mr. H, I have a huge favor to ask of you…"

This wasn't good. "Phones, you're a great kid and all, but I don't think it'd be wise if you and I—" the barista began with an uneasy chuckle.

Neku's face instantly burned up. Oh god! Did he seriously think that— "What? No, Mr. H! I didn't mean that, oh god," he slurred, rubbing at his face in embarrassment. "It has nothing to do with _that_, I'm sorry if I gave you that idea!" Now he was flustered.

"Oh." Now the café owner was blushing himself. "Sorry, kid, guess I was jumpin' to conclusions."

"Yeah," Neku answered, gulping down nerves. "But about that favor."

"What is it, Phones?"

"Is there any way I could talk to Kariya?" Neku wondered softly, looking to the dark-haired man hopefully.

"Kairya?" Sanae repeated, as if he had never heard the name before in his life. "Kariya, huh. Why would you want to be talking to a Reaper? Thought you hated the Game….are you two friends?" He was baffled.

"I wanted to ask him a favor," Neku explained, biting his lip.

"You're asking a lot of favors today, huh?" the man laughed.

"Mhm," Neku agreed with a sigh. "Is there any way I can meet with him?"

"Well, Josh can always adjust your frequency…" Mr. Hanekoma began.

Neku shook his head firmly. "Josh can't know."

"…I see," the café owner answered, the pieces making sense now. "Well, considering he's a high-ranked Reaper, he lives a double life in the RG. If you're really determined to talk to him and ask whatever favor your mind is conjuring up, I can give you his address. Can't guarantee that he'll be happy to see you, though."

"Please?" Neku urged, eyes shimmering in anticipation.

"Gah…can't say no to that face," he mumbled and reached over for a business card. He promptly flipped it over, stole a pen from the other end of the counter, and wrote down an address. "Here ya go. Good luck, Phones."

Neku nodded thankfully, snatched the card, and scampered off, thanking Mr. H with every step he took out of the café. Mr. Hanekoma chuckled, watching Neku leave just as quickly as he came—and damn, he had forgotten to give him a coffee. Guess he wasn't milking any money out of the boy this time. Oh life.

**xxx**

Neku sucked in a deep breath, eying the closed door with uneasiness. His hand, lingering over the smooth wood, flexed a bit, debating whether or not to go through with his idea. After a few moments of indecision ate away at his being, he knocked, fixing an inflexible look onto his face. He wouldn't budge from these steps until he got what he wanted—he had to fix this.

Two moments later the door opened revealing the orange-haired Reaper, sinewy fingers holding a customary pop in his mouth. Surprised eyes looked at the Ex-Player in curiosity. "Phones, huh?" he chuckled, slipping the bean paste out of his mouth with a pop. "What do I owe this honor to?"

"I need to talk to you," Neku breathed out, nerves clutching at his trembling heart. "About the UG," he added on, desperately looking up to the man.

"The UG, huh?" he repeated, twirling the stick around between his fingers. "Sorry, can't help ya. I'm just a Support-Reaper. If you wanna talk UG, go visit Mr. Hanekoma or somethin'."

Neku frowned, catching the door before it could shut. "Kariya, please," he urged, hopelessly trying to meet the older's gaze. "It's important—it's about Joshua."

"Joshua?" Kariya blinked. "Whoozat?"

"…Joshua," Neku repeated uncertainly. Did the orange-haired Reaper not know the Composer personally? He shifted uneasily. "Yoshiya Kiryu," he attempted, finding it not hard at all to recount Joshua's true name.

"Ooh, that kid," Kariya mused, leaning against the door frame with a snicker. "What about him?"

Was he the only person who knew Joshua as Josh? "You were the Conductor," he explained firmly, biting the inside of his cheek, knowing the outcome of this conversation even though it had barely begun.

"I was, how did you know that?" He twirled the paste around a bit more before pausing. "Oh, well that's truly interesting. Yoshiya and you are still friends, hm? So that's where he was always running off to…"

"You have to take the job back," Neku sputtered.

"Sorry, can't do, kiddo. Not the job for me. I'm content with Uzuki and where I am now," Kariya stated pointedly, using his free hand to adjust his glasses. "If you're so concerned, why don't you take the job? Always had soft-spot for you, he did."

Neku frowned. "Firstly, I'm not dead," he said, voice hushed and sharp, "secondly, I'd never work for him, so get that idea out of your head. I'm never going to take that job…but you will. You had it and J—Yoshiya was doing so well personally when you were his Conductor and…you gotta take it back. He's a mess right now. The strain of Shibuya is destroying him…"

"He can find someone else just as easily," Kariya responded curtly.

"Kariya!" Neku growled, looking up to the man sternly. "We're talking about _Shibuya_, damnit. I know you may not like me that much after the Game and all that crap, and I'm not really too keen on you either, but you were good for Shibuya. Please reconsider."

"Kariya, who _are_ you talking to out there?"

Neku paused, the familiar voice sending chills down his back. "…Uzuki?" he guessed in surprise.

Uzuki appeared in the door a few moments later, a robe draped around her feminine form. Her brows arched upon seeing Neku. "_You_?" she demanded, gaze hardening. "What are _you_ doing here, punk?" she demanded.

"You guys…._Oh…_" Neku trailed off, cheeks burning and suddenly feeling very awkward when he noticed a few discolorations on both of the Reapers' necks. "Ahem…anyway, Kariya, please reconsider?"

"What is he yammering about, Kariya?" Uzuki huffed, leaning her elbow onto the man's shoulder in irritation. Well, he had certainly interrupted something.

Neku coughed awkwardly as Kariya sighed dramatically. "Oh, just business," he assured her and tossed her a knowing smirk. "Now, before he gets too uncomfortable, I'm going to finish our conversation during a lovely walk."

Uzuki groaned. "Whatever," she sighed, tossing Neku a stare, and then disappeared into the apartment.

Kariya stepped outside, closed the door, and then looked to Neku with another sigh. "See what you started, kid?"

"I didn't know…I didn't guess…" Neku trailed off, words failing him. Instead of speaking, he quickly hopped down the steps of the house and back onto the familiar streets of Shibuya, looking over his shoulder to Kariya who was doing the same.

"Ya see, it's not that I don't care about Shibuya's well-being…but Uzuki would be off her rocker if I was promoted again and she wasn't," Kariya explained, shrugging absently as the two began to walk, side by side.

Neku knew it was odd, walking beside a man who had once tried to kill him…but then again, he was best friends with someone who killed him twice, so this shouldn't feel all that odd. "But she didn't kill you for becoming Conductor."

"Almost did," Kariya countered and gave a lick to his paste. "Does Boss really want me back that badly?"

"I can tell," Neku breathed in honesty. "He's a wreck and he needs you back, Kariya. He's too stubborn to ask anyone else—you're great for Shibuya. He needs you as his Conductor again."

"Hm…" Kariya pondered that for a moment. "Ya think you could convince him to give Uzuki a promotion as well?"

Neku offered a faint smile. "Hm….maybe." A grin.

"Then I suppose I'll think about it." He paused and tossed Neku a subtle wink. "I better be heading back before the Misses destroys my apartment."

Neku snickered softly. "Have fun…thanks, Kariya."

"Don't mention it."

**xxx**

"Neku! I'm so glad you could come!"

Shiki launched herself across the room and into Neku's arms the moment he entered her living room. In result, both the bag Neku was carrying and the girl's glasses collided with the floor in a flurry. Joshua, who had been standing beside Neku, now garbed in female clothes and makeup, giggled to himself tauntingly. As Shiki embraced her friend, Beat and Eri arose from the couch, leaving Rhyme and her boyfriend to idly chat.

"Yo Phones, ya made it!" Beat greeted and slapped Neku's shoulder once Shiki finally untangled herself from his arms. Eri waved in way of greeting and quickly returned to the couch, followed by Shiki moments later after the pair offered a brief hello to Joshua.

Beat, though, lingered, looking at Joshua carefully. "Yo Josh, glad you made it," he beamed brightly, offering the Composer a brilliant smile.

Neku inhaled deeply, cheeks turning a soft pink. Someone needed to clue Beat in before he did something he regretted—but did Joshua _want_ the blond teen to know? Neku sighed and patted Joshua on the shoulder before wandering over to the couch, leaving the Composer and skater to chat.

"Ugh….I swear to God, Neku. If you don't tell Beat by the end of tonight that Josh is a guy, I'm going to hang you," Eri warned as Neku took a seat beside the brunette and redhead.

Neku paused. "…Since when did you know?"

Eri arched a brow. "…Obviously, Neku. Do you take me for a fool?" She giggled. "I knew the first day—so did Shiki and Rhyme. Beat's just…Beat's just clueless. I guess you could call it a girl's intuition."

Neku sighed and lifted his hand, massaging his temples. "Eri…I know you like Beat, but I don't think you're going to have any problems with having him stolen away. Joshua's not… like that, and Beat isn't either so eventually it'll all end."

Eri huffed, crossed her arms, and then noticed the bag by Neku's feet. "Are those present?" she cooed.

"Hm? Oh yeah, they are," Neku laughed and brought the heavy bag onto his lap. He dug inside the bag, and after a few moments, emerged with a bracelet and cell phone charm for the charismatic redhead beside him.

"Thank you, Neku!" she beamed and quickly leaned over to give the boy a peck on the cheek before graciously accepting her gifts. "I have yours in the back room with everyone else's," she explained.

Shiki giggled under her breath and then paused when Neku handed her two necklaces—one a simple star-decorated one, but another with two pieces of a star (The class best friend, two piece necklace). "Neku…" She blushed and hurriedly undid the package, handing the spiky-haired redhead the 'Friends' portion of the necklace.

"Thanks, Shiki," Neku laughed and watched as the brunette, in a flustered manner, put her necklaces on, radiating happiness.

After Neku had handed his gift to Rhyme, Beat and Joshua made their way over. "Well, now that we're all here, yo, les' start this thing," the skater declared, smirking boldly.

"Would have made more sense for her to throw a _New Year's_ party…oh well," Joshua murmured to himself and shook his head as he took a seat in the closest available chair. "Teenagers and their overreactions…"

**xxx**

"That was a kick ass party."

Neku smirked to himself after speaking and continued down the streets of Shibuya hurriedly. Beside him was the ashen-haired Composer, looking anything but content. After a few moments, the redhead glanced over, a frown replacing his smirk. _Now_ what was the matter? "What, did you not have fun or something?"

"I told you—I'm not that big into the holidays," Joshua explained curtly, shaking his head. "You must be deaf."

Neku rolled his eyes at the quip. "And you must be an asshole—oh wait, that's right, you are."

"Neku…that was a horrible comeback," the Composer mused and emitted an infernal giggle.

Neku cringed. "Gah, enough with that laugh."

"Why? Does it _bother_ you?"

"Yeah, it makes you sound _more_ like a girl."

"Well, that _is_ my job, now isn't it?"

"Not around me!" Neku threw up his arms in defeat and shook his head. "Anyway…it's late, so when we get home, you can go straight to bed. I have to make sure we have everything for dinner tomorrow. Hopefully my mom bought the turkey…and that stuff…"

"You should hang some mistletoe, then. Go all out." Joshua tossed Neku a furtive look, nearly dripping smugness.

"I don't even think they sell that around here," Neku thought aloud, scratching his head. "But why? The _last_ thing I want is Mom and Dad to get caught under it. Gah, that'd be a frickin' mess."

"I wasn't implying them."

It took Neku a minute to figure out what the enigmatic Composer was insinuating. "You…_are sick_."

Joshua waved offhandedly. "Oh hush, you know, deep down, you want me."

Neku cringed. "Joshua, that's…so uncalled for. I need to get you a muzzle."

"And I need to buy a few more bullets."

"Go die," Neku scoffed and hurried his pace, trying not to laugh at the bantering.

"I already am~" Joshua lilted, catching up with him. "Seems you've lost yet another match, little proxy."

"You're so infuriating," Neku complained, shaking his head in disbelief. "You still owe me for tonight, you do realize."

"How so? I don't owe anyone anything," Joshua argued, lips pulled into a thin line of discontent.

"Remember when Beat was trying to ask you on a date?"

"…He was?" A deep, deep frown.

"Duh. Why else would he suggest going to the park? Gah, you're so out of touch with the RG, Joshua," Neku retorted, shook his head yet again, and turned his gaze back to the intersection that would lead them home. "Anyhow, yeah, he was going to ask you out. I had to distract him with an offer of all of us going out for curry one day during break."

"I _can_ protect myself, Neku."

"You're so ungrateful," Neku sighed, bangs fluttering in result.

Another galling giggle. "Tomorrow is going to be so fun, Neku~"

"What are you…planning something?" Neku cocked a brow hesitantly.

"Perhaps."

"Good grief…" Neku hung his head dejectedly, biting back the urge to punch Joshua. "Whatever…if you do anything too stupid, I'll just kick you out and expose your secret to the school."

Joshua surprisingly did not deflate. "And I, my dear proxy, will have to enact retribution."

"…How so?" This ought to be a good one.

"Telling you that would ruin everything!" Joshua explained dramatically, a sinister glint in his eyes as they neared Neku's small home. "Anyhow, I'll be asleep if you need me~ Have fun with that duck of yours!"

"…Duck? Oh…we're having _turkey_, idiot!" Neku scoffed as Joshua disappeared into his home, leaving Neku outside frowning. "He's such an asshole…"

And then one thought drifted through the Ex-Player's head: How the _hell_ did Joshua get the _key_?


	10. chapter nine

"Neku…I told you to wear a tie."

Keiko sighed heavily as her thin fingers reached out and began fumbling with her son's collar. In response, Neku rolled his eyes and struggled out of his mother's grasp. Keiko frowned at once, slapping Neku's hand away when it came to push hers away. "Neku," she began evenly, blue eyes darting up to stare deeply into her son's, "I want you to look nice for today and right now you're the equivalent of a homeless person."

Neku scowled. "Do not. A homeless guy wouldn't have a dress shirt," he argued, settling upon defeat.

Keiko rolled _her_ eyes this time and continued fixing his collar before descending on the hem of the shirt that was hanging loosely over Neku's slacks. "I also told you to tuck this in…" she muttered and began stuffing the white shirt into the tight waistband of her son's pants.

"Mom!" Neku complained, cheeks turning red in embarrassment. "C'mon!...Stop that!...I can do it myself." Grumble grumble.

"If you could, you would have," Keiko answered and continued her tedious task. "Besides, don't you want to look nice for Josephina?"

Neku's mind dislocated for a collective sum of ten seconds. "Not really."

"But Neku, you're never going to impress a girl if you don't look your best," Keiko lilted and stepped away, admiring her handiwork.

"I'm not looking to impress anyone, Mom. If someone doesn't like me for who I am, then screw them," Neku responded and resisted the urge to tug his shirt out again. "I'm going upstairs until Dad gets here."

"Language," Keiko interrupted belatedly and shook her head. "And no, you're not holing up there like a mole until your Father arrives. What you _are_ going to do is quickly get a belt and tie and _then_ come back down here and wait for Josephina and your Father like a gentleman."

Neku cringed. "They don't need me holding their hands into the house."

"Neku…" Keiko warned, eyes narrowing.

"Fine!" Neku conceded and threw his hands up, beginning to walk to the small steps of their home. "What colour tie?"

"That checkered blue one I bought you last year," Keiko decided as she turned her back to her son and began cooking once more, messing with a few pots and pans.

"Right…" Neku nodded and departed, dragging his feet as he went. He didn't need Composer powers to know that today was going to be horrendous.

**xxxxxxx**

"Good afternoon, dear~"

"Don't call me that," Neku said through gritted teeth as he begrudgingly held the door open for his 'guest'. Joshua stepped in accordingly, his garb finally catching Neku's gaze. The redhead's throat went dry and he plastered an annoyed glare onto his face as quickly as possible.

"What are you wearing, Josh?"

"Oh, just something I found lying around—thought it'd be suitable." An infernal giggle followed as the Composer tauntingly spun around, the dress he was wearing catching the air and flowing out.

Neku twitched and cast his gaze away. The dress was simple—white with pale lavender stripes on the lower half. The only eye-catching quality was the deep violet material around the bust of the dress that complimented the straps. Neku aimlessly wondered how a _real_ girl would look in the dress, considering how natural Joshua made it look. His stomach knotted consequently.

"Do you like it, Neku?" Another giggle.

"I think I finally figured out why Mr. H chose this as your punishment," the ex-Player mumbled, heading over to the couch.

Joshua cocked a brow, hand coming to rest on his hip. "Is that so?"

"He wanted you to realize that, deep down, you're a transsexual," Neku stated simply, plopping down on the sofa and closing his eyes. It was so hard not to punch Joshua whenever he took the whole 'cross-dressing' bet out of proportions.

A smirk flowered on the Composer's lips. "You have such a dirty mouth, Neku."

"No, I don't," Neku sighed.

Joshua rolled his eyes and walked over to Neku, making sure not to trip over his feet. At least he had opted to wear flats and not heels. "You're so deep in denial it isn't funny," the ashen-haired boy noted, hand covering his mouth to hold back another laugh.

"And this is coming from the guy in the dress?" Neku asked, cracking open an eye. He blinked a few times in surprise, however, when noticing how close Joshua suddenly was. "Uh?"

"You clean up well, Neku. Perhaps you're not a lost cause after all."

With that, Joshua took a seat next to his Proxy. Neku was about to snarl, shout, and slam his fist into the idiot's face when Keiko entered the room, holding a tray of something that appeared to be deep-fried. Neku decided, in order to preserve whatever sanity he had left, to ignore the Composer for the time being.

"Would you like some ebi-fry, Josephina?" Keiko asked kindly, smiling warmly at the newcomer.

"No thank you, Mrs. Sakuraba," Joshua responded politely and watched as the woman set the small tray on the coffee table. "Thank you for inviting me over."

"Of course," Keiko answered, clasping her hands together cordially. "Neku told me how your parents were away until the New Year. I couldn't have you all alone on Christmas." Her smile seemed contagious.

"That's very thoughtful of you," Joshua noted, careful to keep his hands laced in his lap.

Keiko's smile did not falter, but only seemed to brighten. "That's a beautiful dress, Josephina."

Neku bit back a snicker as he reached out to collect a fried shrimp.

"Thank you," Joshua answered hesitantly, bowing his head respectfully. "As is the one you're wearing."

Keiko giggled softly and turned to her son. "You have such a polite friend, Neku," she almost-cooed and reached over to pat Neku on the head. "I have to finish the meal up before your Father arrives. In the meantime, you two better behave." She tossed the two boys a wink before disappearing from the room.

Neku nearly choked on his appetizer.

Joshua smirked darkly and dramatically lifted a hand to his forehead. "Oh Neku, don't touch me there~"

"Shut up, you asshole!" Neku growled and shoved at Joshua's shoulder.

Joshua snickered to himself and dropped his hand. "It seems your Mother has quite the affinity for pairing us up, Neku."

Neku rolled his eyes. "Don't flatter yourself—she does that with me and Shiki, too. Besides, I'd rather deal with Pi-face than date you."

"Mm." Joshua laced his hands behind his head, eying the cozy living room carefully. "It'd be horribly improper—an Ex-Player and a Composer. You'd be so unfitting."

Neku's eyes narrowed. "Are you saying I'm not _good_ enough for you?"

Joshua cocked a brow. "Am I?"

"I think you are," Neku answered, offended, and took another shrimp to distract himself from his growing urge to knock Joshua's lights out. "You've got it wrong, Josh. The only person you deserve is some Wall-Reaper."

"That was a pathetic comeback, Neku," Joshua noted and shook his head.

"This conversation is pathetic," Neku argued. "Besides, if you forgot, we're both _guys_. That's wrong on so many levels and—"

"Your point?"

"Huh?" Neku paused, lips hovering over the shrimp.

"I chose you as my Proxy because of your heightened Imagination and Soul. True, your Soul went through a crash-course in purification during your weeks in the Game, but it was bright to begin with. I would think that someone as polished as yourself would be more open-minded."

Neku wasn't sure whether to wince from the assault of eloquent words or to just laugh right in Joshua's face. "…I'm not homophobic, ass. I was just _saying_," he attempted in defense. "Besides, you're…"

"I'm what, hm?"

"You're barely a guy."

Joshua chose to ignore the chuckles that left Neku's mouth. The Composer was about to respond wistfully when the doorbell rang. The redhead tensed and passed his friend a pitiable stare. The usual game of wit ended abruptly when Joshua nodded ambiguously and lightly pushed at his Proxy's shoulder. The contact caused Neku to tense but before Joshua could notice, he was up and off the couch and across the room. Neku hurried to the door and, with a deep breath and a knotting stomach, opened the door.

A man, about six foot two, stood in the doorway, dark brown (almost black in the odd lighting) hair messily combed to the right, framing hard eyes. His gaze converged with Neku's briefly, blue meeting blue. No words were exchanged until Neku coughed awkwardly and glanced off to the right, finding the threshold interesting.

"Hello, son."

"…Hi, Dad."

Another moment of discomfited silence engulfed the pair.

"Neku, is that your Father?"

Keiko's voice drifted through the small home towards the door and out onto the bustling street. "…Uhm, yeah," Neku called back and turned his attention his Father. "…Come in," he added in tardily and quickly stepped aside, fingers holding the door open halfheartedly.

When Neku returned to the living room, Keiko was waiting, a frail smile on her face. "Katsumi, how have you been?"

"Good, and yourself?"

"Good."

Keiko's smile faltered as her gaze wandered from her ex-Husband to Joshua and Neku. "Katsumi, this Neku's friend, Josephina." She gestured kindly towards the boy.

Katsumi's gaze settled upon the mentioned boy who waved a hand gently in greeting. "Nice to meet you…Josephina? Is that American?"

"Yes sir," Joshua responded calmly, ignoring Neku's surprised look, "My Mother came over when she was a teenager and fell in love with my father."

"That's nice."

The dryness of Katsumi's statement caused the Composer to bit the inside of his lip and nod distantly. After a moment, though, the two adults disappeared into the kitchen, leaving the 'teenagers' alone once again.

"He's a ball of sunshine, isn't he?" Neku muttered, exhaling deeply.

"Charming, really," Joshua noted sarcastically, tangible malice growing in his voice.

"…Are you really half American?"

Joshua blinked, gaze returning to the redhead. "…Of course, you didn't know?"

"Of course not. You avoid _all_ personal questions," Neku huffed, arms folding to his chest.

Joshua giggled in amusement. "Why else would my parents call me an English nickname? Besides," his hand came up to run through his almost silver hair, "I don't think this hair colour is natural around here, no?"

"I doubt it's natural there, either," Neku scoffed, shaking his head. "You look albino."

"Not exactly, but many people thought I was," Joshua giggled and closed his eyes. "Honestly, Neku. I thought that you, of all people, would have noticed my nationality."

"Oh shut the hell up," Neku groaned and lifted a hand to rub at his face. "Anyway…if you don't want to stick around for my dad's lamenting, you can go back to work or whatever you're supposed to be doing instead of following me around."

"But Neku~ I've been a good boy and caught up on all my work," Joshua cooed and reached out to pat his Ex-Proxy's head condescendingly. Before Neku could swat the hand away, it was gone and Joshua was speaking again. "I'll stick around."

"…Really?"

"I already said I would," Joshua sighed, lips curling up in discontent. "Would I go back on my word?"

"…I dunno," Neku admitted and shook his head, choosing to change the topic. "Maybe now that I have a 'girl' over for Christmas, he'll stop thinking I'm not 'normal'."

The look on Joshua's face morphed from discontent to amusement. "Would you like to propel that notion?"

"…Excuse me? I can't understand you when you talk like a dictionary."

Joshua held back a snicker and reached out to carefully touch the back of Neku's hand. The boy glared and yanked his hand away, frowning. Joshua seized the boy's hand and lifted the adjoined appendages in the air, gesturing with his gaze. "If your Father sees this, he won't have any more suspicions."

"…But Mom," Neku argued, eying the hands with a scowl. "And what if this plan backfires? And what if I melt from touching you for so long?"

"Details, details," Joshua chided. "I'm not all too keen on touching you either—I'd probably contract your disgusting personality."

Neku's eyes narrowed. "And you're charismatic as well."

"Thank you, Neku," Joshua hummed, pausing afterwards. "I hear your parents. Are we going to do this or not?"

"Fine," Neku grumbled and allowed Joshua's slim fingers to fill in the gaps between his own.

**_xxxxxxx_**

After dinner was over, Keiko pulled her son aside in the hallway, leaving Joshua and Katsumi to meander into the living room. The red-haired woman inhaled deeply as her back hit the wall, tugging Neku into a weak embrace.

"Thank you so much for behaving, Neku," she whispered comfortingly into his ear. "You've matured so much…I'm so proud of you."

Neku's ears burned in shameless embarrassment. "It's nothing big, Mom. I'm just avoiding a Civil War."

Keiko laughed lightly and hugged her son tightly before letting go, meeting his gaze. "I did want to talk to you about something, though."

Neku's elated mood was short-lived as his nerves came crashing down, forming a lump in his throat. "Oh?...About what?" He plastered an innocent stare on his face.

"…Why didn't you tell me you and Josephina were dating?" she asked calmly, hands coming to rest on her hips. "If I had known, I would have given you some extra money to buy her something special for the holidays."

"I already bought her something," Neku complained and looked away, cheeks burning. "And I dunno if you could say we're _dating, _persay…"

"Why else would you be holding hands? I've never seen you two, or any other girl, hold hands before just because it was a comforting thing to do," Keiko interjected, arching a brow knowingly.

Neku crumbled under his mother's scrutiny. He inhaled deeply. If this plan was to go off without a hitch, he needed his mom's cooperation. "We're trying to trick Dad."

"…Why?"

"Mom, you know as well as I do that he thinks…_stuff _about me," Neku murmured, gaze drifting away from his mother. "I want to show him that he's just imagining it and he needs to finally grow up."

"Neku…"

"Josephina doesn't mind, I promise," Neku added in hurriedly, risking eye-contact. "Please don't tell him."

"…What you're doing is deceptive, Neku."

"I _know_, but I'd rather lie than have him think I'm some sort of creep," Neku argued and clenched his fists, almost offended at the idea. "I want him to judge me like a father should—based on my personality, not his own damn suspicions."

Keiko winced and lifted a hand to brush through her son's bangs. "Neku, calm down. You know your Father loves you…he's always had an odd way of showing it."

"Stop making excuses for him…"

"It's true." She closed her eyes. "But I'll keep my mouth shut."

"Thanks, Mom."

"…I'm just glad you told me the truth."

And in that moment, Neku felt worse than he did after having been shot twice.

**_xxxxxxx_**

As the 'family' consumed the customary Christmas Cakes, Neku's hand remained tightly entangled with Joshua's. The Composer chose not to comment on how tongue-tied and _different_ Neku was suddenly acting. Deep down, the ashen-haired boy knew he had no room to complain—he barely knew Neku, even after all these months. They were expendable to each other, and that was that. They used each other, yelled at each other, and that was it.

"So, how long have you two been seeing each other?"

Katsumi's questions regarding the two's 'relationship' never seemed to cease. "Two weeks," the redhead answered and shoved another piece of sponge cake in his mouth.

"Honey, didn't you ask that already?" Keiko laughed nervously, poking at her creation with a fork.

Neku cringed at the Freudian slip, looking off to the side. Joshua sighed to himself and absently tightened his hold on the boy's hand. The Ex-Player chose to ignore this _also_, sensing an extremely awkward moment if he questioned it. Why did Christmas always suck?

"Mr. Sakuraba…I heard you ran to be one of the city assemble?"

Neku inwardly groaned.

"What an educated girlfriend you have, Neku," Katsumi remarked, gaze settling on the Composer. "Why yes, I did. A few years ago—why?"

"Just wondering if you were the same Katsumi Sakuraba," Joshua explained simply and offered a horridly fake smile before tightening his fingers in Neku's. '_Don't be alarmed that I'm speaking in your head, it's one of my many talents as the Composer.'_

_'Reassuring…_' Neku zoned out, fingers toying with his fork.

_'The assemble has been my main enemy for as long as I can remember, Neku. They are constantly undermining my choices as Composer and passing new laws that go against the better of Shibuya.'_

_'Great, a history lesson?'_

'_Focus, Neku. What I'm trying to say is that I thought I recognize your Father. He was one of the many that ran a few years ago. Sanae and I had to fix the ballet so that he wouldn't win—his Soul is horribly tainted. I'll spare you the details…'_

Neku's gaze drifted to his father, lips curling up into a silent expression of anger. '_I'm so glad I told Mom, then…'_

_'About his affair?'_

_'Yes…'_

_'Don't let your anger consume you, Neku. It'll ruin your Soul.'_

_'…When did you become so concerned and philosophical?'_

Joshua didn't answer and removed his hand from Neku's, returning to his dessert. Violet eyes settled on the treat and did not meet Neku's once more. Keiko and Katsumi continued their conversation, never suspecting the wordless conversation that had transpired between the pair. Neku attempted to restart the conversation but failed, realizing slowly that some form of physical contact was needed. Ironic.

**_xxxxxxx_**

"I think that went over quite well."

"I'm glad you think so," Neku answered as he passed a glance over to Joshua who was comfortably lounging on his bed. "…Why are you still wearing that dress?"

"Because," Joshua giggled. "As long as your parents are home, I need to keep up the façade," he purred and waved a hand absently across the room to Neku who was fiddling with his stereo. "…What are you doing anyhow?"

"Putting on music, what else would I be doing?" Neku sighed and began flipping through his case of CDs. "I need _something_ on to drown out your nasally voice."

"Ouch," Joshua mused with a dramatic pout and closed his eyes, pulling his knees up into the air to get more comfortable. "Put something on that'll set the mood, at least."

Neku cringed. "Like what?"

"Something…" Joshua trailed off and cracked open an eye, peering at Neku in amusement. "Oh Neku~ Don't look up my skirt, you naughty boy."

Neku growled and flung a CD in, setting the volume on low. Anything to break the monotonous silence that sometimes plagued them. "Move over so I can lie down."

"Just lay down on me, Neku. You are my 'boyfriend'," Joshua mused, bending his fingers to make air quotes. His violet eyes shimmered mischievously as he tossed the redhead an innocent look. "I promise I won't be too vocal, hehe."

"You are insufferable," Neku grumbled and chose to sit on the edge of the bed. "At least my dad thinks I'm straight now."

Joshua licked his lips and sat up, propping his chin on his Proxy's shoulder. "Thanks to me, that is~"

"You and your harebrained ideas, yes," Neku exhaled deeply, wincing at the confession. "I guess I should thank you."

"Why don't you thank me properly?" Joshua breathed warmly, and loudly, into the other's ear, tickling the skin efficiently.

"Personal space," Neku quipped and raised his hand to push Joshua's face away. "Go take a cold shower or something. Your libido is starting to bug me."

Joshua pouted and kept his chin clamped on Neku's shoulder. "As if I'd ever let you touch me," he giggled, blowing air lazily against Neku's ear.

Neku shivered, but quickly hid such with a scowl. "Stop that. My ears are sensitive."

"…That so?" Joshua smirked. "Now, why would you tell me that?" Another giggle.

"So you won't do it," Neku argued and shook his head.

"But Neku," Joshua crowed, "If it 'turns you on' why wouldn't I do it?"

"Jo—"

"Now be a proper gentleman and take me," Joshua ordered, lips a mere centimeter from Neku's earlobe.

"As if I'd _ever_ have sex with a _guy_, let alone you! Stop being so damn perverted and get the hell away from me, you creep!" Neku snarled and sat up quickly, narrowing his eyes. "I can't believe you're getting so many kicks out of pretending to be a girl. You are a disgrace to the male race. God damnit, Josh, you are so fucked up—"

The door promptly creaked open in response to Neku's rant. Joshua cocked a brow at the sound of creaking hinges and sat up. Both boys paled at the same time when they saw the slim figure of Katsumi Sakuraba, looking a cross between horrified and disgusted. Joshua bit his lip, swallowed thickly, and fixed an indifferent stare on his face. Neku, on the other hand, had lost all the colour in his face and his knees wobbled.

"Get the hell away from my son you trans—"

"Leave Josh alone!" Neku instinctively hollered when he saw his father take a step into the room. His eyes fumed silently. When father's gaze met son's, Neku's temporary courage faltered and his visage matched that of a six year old. "I…"

"I always knew something was flighty about you, boy," Katsumi growled unoriginally, as if quoting the text of something that had transpired countless times before. "I can't believe you'd trick your Mother and I like that, you good for nothing—"

"And the man who cheated on his wife and threatened to corrupt Shibuya is trying to ridicule his son?" Joshua interrupted darkly, eyes glowing darker in the dim light of Neku's room.

"Shut up, fag—"

"I hate you both!" Neku decided in a fit of displaced rage, dramatically shoving past his father and out of the room. He didn't want to hear the usual lecture. Not this time. He ignored his mother's concerned calls as he fumbled out of the house and onto the chilly streets of Shibuya.

Joshua, meanwhile, met Katsumi's dark gaze. "A prime example of why Shibuya should have been erased," he muttered venomously and slid off the bed, clothes morphing slowly back into his customary slacks and shirt. "Now, if you'll excuse me." He pushed past the fuming man. "I'll deal with you later."

And with that, Joshua's form disappeared from sight, an air of absolute cold appearing where his body once stood.

For once, Katsumi Sakuraba had no retort.

**_xxxxxxx_**

Joshua didn't have to seek out Neku's Soul and Music, but instead relied upon his memory to find where the redhead had raced off to. The cool night of Christmas in Shibuya wrapped the silently sobbing redhead in a blanket—a blanket that would never be enough, no matter how much he pushed and shoved at it. It'd only ever cover his feet. He cursed himself silently for thinking that he could have had it all—a normal family, normal friends, and a normal life. Joshua seemed _hell-bent_ on screwing him over every chance he got. Joshua probably knew his Dad was listening the entire time. Joshua had never _ever_ been that teasing before, never gotten him that damn _frustrated_.

That damn…that damn _worked up_.

Neku's fingers trailed uneasily along the chipping paint of Cat's Mural. Blue eyes shut, not need to rely on his vision to know the image before him. The trembling Ex-Player sucked in a deep breath, replaying the day's events in his mind over and over. Christmas wasn't supposed to be this eventful—Christmas wasn't supposed to be this horrific.

A chill danced down Neku's spine as he muttered curses, the combinations not making any sense. He felt betrayed, hurt, and just confused. He felt weak and light-headed and stupid. Every single conceivable emotion gushed through Neku's body. He should have never allowed Joshua in that day. He should have never agreed to Mr. H's stupid bet thing. He should have never allowed himself to become friend with his two time killer. He should have done the smart thing and smacked Joshua and told him to take a hike. He never should have been able to hear and then proceed to worry himself over Joshua's troubling Music. He should have told the whole school Joshua was a guy just to spite the Composer. He should have moved on with his life.

It would have been disappointing, but it would have been safe.

Neku's slew of offending words came to a halt with a hitch of his breath. Something cold and hard pressed to his right temple, causing his heart to lurch and then plummet into the core of his stomach and being. He didn't breathe for a few moments as he heard metallic clang. The sound resonated in his ears and body, sounding far louder than the two times prior. His hands gripped weakly at the cold cement before him, as if doing such would bring him safety. The noise continued to echo in his mind as the barrel of the familiar gun rested snuggly against his head.

"You know, I was going to give this to you, Neku."

Despite his earlier convictions, Neku decided this would have been all the less painful if he _hadn't_ heard that voice just then.

"But you probably wouldn't understand why—you're so simple-minded and generic," the voice reasoned lifelessly, allowing the head of the gun to slip down to the top of Neku's cheek, tracing the bone there.

When Neku found his voice after having fell to his knees, unable to support himself any longer, he managed to ask, "…Why this time?"

"What was that?" The gun returned to his temple.

"Why this time? What's the reason this time?" He bit back a betrayed sob. Why had he expected anything less from a cold-blooded murderer?

"I don't need to explain myself to you."

Neku felt his heart clench as the gun returned its tracing of the right side of his face. He gripped painfully at the ground, wishing to be somewhere safe and warm. Wishing to be in the past. Wishing to take everything back.

Neku choked out a gasp, willing back the hot, blinding tears from leaving his eyes. At least Joshua couldn't see him this time. At least he could die this time with his dignity.

"Hm?"

Neku shivered, gulping down a ball of uncomfortable nerves that reappeared automatically. "You're g-going to kill me, aren't you?"

Joshua didn't answer, leaving the redhead to stare blankly at the graffiti wall before him. Life was too ironic.

"Go ahead, kill me. I don't care anymore," Neku whispered weakly.

The wind swept past the pair again, the gun sliding somewhat from Neku's cheek to his neck. Neku gulped and went on to add, "I don't even know why I trusted you in the first place…why I let myself get so close to you…" His words fell on deaf ears as a single sob escaped his trembling torso.

Two minutes passed before the cold metal against Neku's face was gone. A loud sound engulfed the area as the gun smacked against the wall a few yards away, landing on the ground lifelessly, loaded and ready to kill if one ill step was made. Neku's breathing seized, eyes weakly turning to the left to stare at the now discarded gun. He didn't make a move to stand for a long while, allowing the gravity of the situation to set in.

When footsteps sounded, Neku scrambled to his feet. "…Huh?" he asked bleakly, rubbing at his burning eyes. His gaze locked with Joshua's retreating form. At once, the Ex-Player took chase, mind and heart breaking all speed limits.

When he finally caught up to the Composer, he seized the ashen-haired male's arm. In a fit of confusion, Neku began screaming into the night air. "What the hell was all that for? Why, damnit? Why didn't you kill me? Why, Joshua?"

Joshua said nothing.

"Answer me!" Neku's other hand found Joshua's free arm, forcefully turning the Composer around to meet his gaze. Joshua pointedly averted his gaze indifferently.

"Just forget it, Neku. Just forget me," the Composer stated curtly.

"…After all that trouble I went through to get your Christmas present and you were about to kill me!" Neku snarled, fingers digging into Joshua's arms. "I can't believe you!"

"…What gift?" Joshua blinked, refusing to make eye-contact.

"I got Kariya to take back the job, asshole!" Neku screeched, his shakes transferring through his arms and hands. "I would think you'd at least _thank me_ but you're…you're stuck in your old ways and when something goes wrong you just kill people off instead of fixing problems like normal people! But no! I can't believe you actually thought I _hated_ you. You are so…so!..."

Joshua bit his tongue, looking almost touched for a moment. The magnitude of Neku's words hit him hard.

Neku looked away, breathing heavily.

"It wasn't loaded."

Neku tried to regulate his breathing but was failing miserably. However, the statement caught him off guard.

"I was planning to give it to you—it was never loaded."

Neku winced, zoning out. He allowed silence to engulf them. He couldn't look at Joshua anymore. He was too confused, too hurt, and too dizzy. For a long while, he just stood there, fingers eventually just pressing against Joshua's arms. His dangerous grip was gone and left with a confused and _human_ touch.

Carefully, the Composer reached out to touch Neku's face. Expectedly, Neku flinched. The Composer frowned and pulled his hand back, eyes shutting with a heavy sigh. Never before had Joshua's lack of humanity been so apparent. Never before had it been so evident how long Joshua had gone without _normal_ human contact.

"I don't get you," Neku whispered as his trembling frame fell against Joshua, face disappearing against the Composer's chest. All the stress from the day—between his Father, the confession, the confusion, and Joshua's little stunt—came pouring out of him in silent, hot tears that stained Joshua's shirt—stained it worse than blood could ever have done.

Awkwardly, the ashen-haired male's arms came to hook around Neku's form, hands hesitantly resting on the boy's back. It was obvious that Joshua had no idea what he was doing—no idea how to handle _true_ emotions.

As the cold wind continued to whip against the pair, Joshua's eyes slipped shut and his head fell down against Neku's, cautiously finding his ear. "….I'm sorry."

Because no one had ever stayed.


End file.
